Local sorcerer Alexander Keefe has solved the mystery of the Ferris potato thumbtack!

Your CC professor has nothing on Chloë when it comes to explaining “a priori”!

Check, check, Is this thing on? Oh yes, it is. Will Cagle is up next!

Julia wants you to give LateNite a chance and join! As she said, “u mite like.”

Did you know Eva studied abroad? 

Amelia is here to let you know the precedents to cite when dealing with Columbia.

Sorry, Ferris. Nik is a JJ’s fan now and forever.

With Housing Selection in full swing, Nino wants to remind you to avoid McBain at all costs.

Sarah has a lot of wisdom to share. The one thing they want in return is to know how their mattress got from EC to Alma. Literally, how??

Hannah Healy imparts her COÖP, laundry, and touring wisdom.

Jake Naimark imparts his wisdom regarding being a good neighbor, dairy products, and beyond sausages.

This semester’s first senior wisdom comes from Cameron Danesh-Pajou, Pennsylvanian, roof expert, and last drum major of the CUMB to conduct in Butler 209 (for now).

Senior Bennett Smith has a hammock AND a T-rex costume, which would’ve been very interesting in combination. 

Not only does D.Z. know how to throw a spear, she also knows the location of a very interesting and practical zine she can’t really get into here. 

Ariel Rissman of Buy Sell fame reminds you to take care of yourself and encourages you to scream your heart out.