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Housing Coverage 2016, Day 7

By Bwog Staff on Apr 13, 2016 0 Comments

Today is the last day to battle your housing-related fears in The Cage, so make the most of it. To unlucky sophomores: pick up some candy, take a photo against the backdrop, and let the sweet words of housing staff convince you to abandon the strategy you’ve crafted over the past two weeks. Try out […]

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Earth Institute Professors Ruth DeFries And Jeffrey Sachs Named University Professors

By Bwog Staff on Apr 13, 2016 1 Comments

In an email sent out to students, President Bollinger announced his appointment of Ruth DeFries and Jeffrey Sachs as University Professors, “the highest rank Columbia bestows on its faculty.” They join a select group numbering only fifteen, and which counts academic notables from Richard Axel (biology) and Joseph Stiglitz (economics) to Gayatri Spivak (English and comparative […]

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Remembering Public Safety Officer Martin Nelles

By Bwog Staff on Apr 13, 2016 1 Comments

On Friday, April 8th, Public Safety Officer Martin Nelles collapsed and passed away while on duty. Officer Nelles’s family remembers him as conscientious and responsible. His co-workers greatly respected him as he recently received his thirty-year badge for a job well done. In a message from The Facilities Department, Communications VP Dan Held writes: “Officer […]

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Bwoglines: Retirement Edition

By Bwog Staff on Apr 13, 2016 0 Comments

The Cage enters temporary retirement today, so today we honor housing, in all its senselessness. Brazen Brooklyn bank robbers drilled a hole into the ceiling of an HSBC bank, stealing more than $280,000 and content from safety deposit boxes—much like your lottery number stole all your chances of happiness for next year. (Pix 11) Scientists have […]

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If Hillary Tried Normaling At Columbia

By Maddie Stearn on Apr 12, 2016 2 Comments

A few days ago Hillary Clinton rode the NYC subway. Like “any” “normal” “person”, she encountered a few setbacks on her journey–like needing to swipe her MetroCard 5 times at the turnstile. Sure, she looked a little like Jack Donaghy when he had bed bugs, but who are we to judge? We’re all just “average” people […]

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Housing Coverage 2016, Day 6

By Bwog Staff on Apr 12, 2016 6 Comments

We know more than half of y’all are probably sitting back, drinking cocktails, laughing at the first years who have to suffer the tortures and stresses of housing. Okay, maybe you’re more likely to be sitting hunched over, drinking multiple cups of coffee, scribbling away at some problem set. But even if you never set […]

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ESC’s Final Vote

By Finn Klauber on Apr 12, 2016 0 Comments

ESC is dead, long live ESC—or something like that. Yes, this year’s council has now passed on, and whether they were lucky enough to extend their stay on council or were forced to give up the ghost, all council members had a grave disposition. ESC Bureau Chief Finn Klauber reports on their final vote and […]

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Columbia Housing Announces Free Access (Except For Barnard Students) To New York Times

By Bwog Staff on Apr 12, 2016 3 Comments

In a possible attempt to prevent the inevitable devolving morass of first year housing selection today, Columbia Housing along with CCSC, ESC, and GS announced in an email that all students will be granted free access to the New York Times Online. The unlimited access, available if you sign up an account here, to students of […]

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SGA: Surprise Attacks

By Bwog Staff on Apr 12, 2016 0 Comments

This week, SGA listened to both sides of the argument for and against partnership with Columbia Elections Board. Their constitutional review committee has been working all year to make helpful changes to the SGA constitution, but these presentations required them to take quick action on their (nonexistent) affiliation with the Columbia Elections Board. “When shit comes […]

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Classes To Take Before You Die I Mean Graduate: Fall 2016 Edition

By Bwog Staff on Apr 12, 2016 0 Comments

With course selection upon us, we bring you one of our favorite features—a list of classes you should take before you graduate (or die, which ever comes first.) Let us take the work out of figuring out your schedule next semester and just sign up for all of these classes for an academically lit semester. Also, […]

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Bwoglines: Leaders Edition

By Bwog Staff on Apr 12, 2016 0 Comments

Brazil’s Congressional Committee voted in favor of a motion which proceed with a vote for or against impeaching President Dilma Rousseff. President Rousseff effectively leads a minority government and was placed in the midst of a corruption scandal and investigations over the past year or so. (The Guardian) CNN streamed a town hall event with […]

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Field Notes: It’s Lit Edition

By Bwog Staff on Apr 11, 2016 0 Comments

There are only a couple of weeks left in the semester, and that can mean only one thing: we’re starting to give up. CC reading? Haven’t done it yet. Physics problem set? Barely started. Polisci paper? Thought about it. A little. These days, we’re prioritizing the truly important parts of college life: getting lit and […]

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Where You Need To Be Pooping!

Bwog Staff 4

a bathroom you will never forget
bwog baby daddy
bwog baby donkey
bwog fucks
bwog shits
fayerfeather
fayerweather
featherweather
fuck spec
gentrify fayerweather
i really came for fayerweathers whole life but it kind of deserves it
poopin in the shower: a memoir
sorry if literally everyone knew about this except for me
sry to whoever's best kept secret this was
the fayerweather bathroom is (well) lit

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Late Night JJ’s Is Killing HamDel

Betsy Ladyzhets 3

conspiracybwog
except this isn't even a conspiracy theory it's just true
Hamdel
i love jj's but you've gotta support local businesses
i must have ten of those golden punch cards lying around
last fall after a party i went to hamdel and found them closed... one of the saddest moments of my life
late night food
other excellent late night options we need to keep alive: appletree; roti roll; tom's
quality sandwich

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LectureHop: Nobel Laureate Martin Chalfie On Being “Failed And Useless”

Sarah Braner 3

after spending all day wednesday questioning my decision to major in bio i REALLY needed this
BACTERIA! THAT DETECT LANDMINES! i actually gasped
Events
i'm gonna be a scientist mom!!!
lecturehop
no one knows what they're doing in science and it's the BEST (okay well some do but they're outliers)
science is just a bunch of screwups that occasionally lead to breakthroughs
SCIENCE IS SO COOL OKAY
thank you for my LIFE chalfie

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Where Art Thou: Nina Simone Edition

Riva Weinstein 0

but isnt godspell about like.... the crucifixion???
lots of good theater this week!
where art thou?

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Oyez, You Hooligan Youths: Learn How To Clean Up After Yourselves In John Jay

Levi Cohen 0

although there is some silverware on the conveyor belt that shouldnt be there
callout post
dining hall etiquette classes pls
leaving shit on the tables gives them that terrible sticky residue!!
we are all better than this

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Bwoglines: Is The Lunar Gateway Ever Being Made Edition

Mary Clare Greenlees 0

buzz aldrin thinks the gateway is ridiculous which i think is hilarious
bwastro
bwoglines
cat burglar .........
i wanted to go to rafiki but i forgot to get a ticket :(((((( ahhhhhhhh
my goal for the rest of the year is to include one space/astro/physics related thing in bwoglines

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Back Of The Envelope: The Number Of Days In Fall Break

Henry Golub 1

approximations
back of the envelope
common sense manipulations
estimations
rough calculations

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PSA: Stop Having Sex In The Milstein Gender Neutral Bathrooms

Bwog Staff 3

bad bwitches only
PLEASE STOP IT
right now im in a state of mind
were you raised in BARNS

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