CUSJ Antics Far Funnier Than CUSJ Content

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cusj1The Columbia Undergraduate Science Journal has fired another salvo in their ongoing feud against Jester, claiming responsibility for the recent disappearance of 700 issues of the most recent Jester issue. They’ve placed the once-missing issues all over campus, and attached a message: “Jester Promotes Scientific Fallacies.” The full-page manifesto contains many of the CUSJ grievances, a sampling of which can be found on the (truly crazy, and we’re not sure if it’s in a good or bad way) website the CUSJ missive directs readers to.

cusj2First among them: “The ‘Liquid Issue’ is clearly not made of LIQUID at all but rather PAPER, which is SOLID. Jester should be ashamed for misleading readers regarding states of matter.”

Too far, or not far enough? Catelyn Liu reproduced CUSJ‘s damning allegations in full, featured after the jump.

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  1. this is likely  

    all contrived by the jester. bravo jester! i love you guys more and more each day. you invoke classic college hijinks.

  2. the website  

    is terrifying.

  3. Theyve  

    apparently had some fun with Jester's wiki as well.

    This has since been changed.

  4. Holy shit  

    That website is insane. I love it.

    • it's all true  

      you guys should take this a little more seriously... i mean, cusj made some great points. the jester issue was solid, not liquid... i'd never thought about it before. you know what else? i noticed a distinct lack of knowledge of particle physics.

  5. brilliant  

    hoax or not, it's about time we had a prank like this on campus.

  6. yeah  

    yep, must hand it to Jester, this is pretty good.

  7. agreed  

    this sounds like all-jester. the cusj types i know don't sound likely candidates

  8. Analysis  

    1. Obviously this should be titled "Jester antics funnier than Jester content."
    2. Nevertheless, Jester antics are not actually funny.
    3. Who on Bwog is also a member of Jester? The bizarre feud joke does not seem to exist at all outside of repeated posts on Bwog.
    4. It's really annoying how Bwog vacillates between claiming legitimacy and aiding dumb jokes.
    5. Props though to Jester for getting Spectator to run a story.

    • analysis  

      1. You know nothing about what is going on.

      2. You clearly say pretentious shit in class

      3. Who the hell uses bullet points in a comment?

      4. There is no debate of whether this is by Jester outside of the Bwog.

      In summary, sir, you are a douchebag, and probably more of an ass in person.

    • lighten up  

      this was funny. where else would you be aware of the jester-cusj feud besides bwog?

      kudos jester!

  9. the Spec  

    According to me, the editors said they did not plan on pushing for an official investigation. This must be why.

  10. screw osama  

    Neil Flannigan had a part in 9-11... I knew it was an inside job!

  11. Neil Flanagan  

    Why can't anyone ever spell my name right?

  12. bogus

    CUSJ one ups Jester yet again!

  13. rrr

    Dude, Jester gets buttzowned all over campus.

    Gabe Morris for prez!@!

  14. clearly insane  

    if you like the cusj website, check out its inspiration:

    • CubicAO

      Hey yo, the user "clearly insane", posting in this commments-thread, made reference to Time Cube. Time Cube is the truth. I want to point out another website, related to Time Cube:

      Hope it helps! I guess we all need to know about Time Cube, hey!

  15. zzzzzzzzz  


  16. ...  

    if the jester can't even keep track of its own magazines maybe they deserve to be stolen. the only thing think prank indicates to me is the jester's blatant managerial ineptitude.

  17. Jester  

    pays the price for their abuse of science!

  18. Catelyn Liu  

    doesn't seem to be a real person. She's not on the Facebook and not in the Columbia directory. Plus that entire website makes no sense.

    This just gets more and more confusing.

  19. Frank  

    their website is a ripoff of this guys

  20. Bethmann-Hollweg  

    What is "Jester"?

    It sounds like something created by a troupe of morons.

  21. I am so lost  

    Honestly, this is so damn confusing for those on the outside of the joke. I don't understand the Weimar Republic joke, I can't fathom why Bwog thought it was funny, I've never laughed at a word in Jester, I don't see the humor in the fake CUSJ rivalry, and yet I have an otherwise normal Columbian's sense of humor. I laugh at Barnard jokes, I sometimes enjoy the Fed, and I find irony and sarcasm devasting.

    The fact that I get nothing whatsoever from Jester, despite really trying to like it and wanting to like it, really kind of bothers me.

  22. Yep  

    It's now confirmed, thanks to 31 and 32, that I do not find Jester staffers even remotely humorous.

  23. Nicholas M. Butler  

    affinity for the fed is not a "normal columbian's sense of humor". it's practically a columbia tradition to dismiss the fed, unless one lives in wien, in which case it makes for good firewood when the boiler blows. it's also reportedly successful as cage lining for illegal dorm pets.

    "shit paper!" as catullus denounced the annales of volusius.

  24. Gustav Stresemann  

    my lit hum teacher once said the worst thing in the world was having to destroy fun while deconstructing a joke. here goes:

    -Bethmann-Hollweg was a German Chancellor just prior to WWII
    -Hermann Goehring was a Nazi
    -Both would have mocked the Weimar Republic, with very similar language to that which Bethmann-Hollweg used to denounce the Jester
    -Jester=Weimar comparison is especially amusing, if you are a friend of reason and CUSJ

  25. hahah  

    Lave it to Jester/CUSJ to make my Monday interesting

  26. ah ha!  

    alex weinberg makes girls dry up faster than my bank account after a night at 1020

  27. grad student  

    did anyone else see the research study about the cat? i don't know what cusj was talking about, i've bee n slaving away in a bio lab for three years and haven't come up with anything that profound. maybe they should have used mice instead of cats, but i can't argue with results.

  28. wow  

    this is hilarious... 700 magazines...

  29. Has anyone  

    fucking seen how long this website is?

  30. ---  


  31. Frankly...  

    I thought this was hilarious, but I’m an engineer. Also, it was eight days too late for April Fool’s...come on, CUSJ, get your timing right

    • Not an engineer  

      A whole thread of people without a sense of humor bashing the poor, benighted individual who does: it seems inexplicable, but only until one reads these enlightening words.

  32. Alex  

    Weinberg is currently on welfare.

  33. Hey  

    First good prank to happen ot Columbia in a long time. Good job guys.

  34. CUSJ  

    ***************FUCK YOU*************

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