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A Very Special Facebook Update from the Terrible 12s

While most of you are probably relieved to have exited Columbia’s campus, free of Butler and Lerner for an entire summer, there’s an entire generation of earnest young people who just can’t wait for August. They were born in 1990, their SATs were probably out of 48,000, and we’re calling them the Terrible 12s.

Every now and then Bwog likes to take a look at their Facebook activities, and oh what a bevy of activity there’s been! A certain hyper-social member of the the Columbia – Class of 2012 group who calls himself “Stephan” has already volunteered his Carman room for a party the first night of Orientation, giving ResLife nearly three months to prepare for the task of breaking up the party.

Within another group, this one dedicated to the good folk of Carman, “Stephan”, who Bwog can only hope is an English major, again advertises his fete by announcing: “we r throwin da sickest party to get the year started rite…. Carman the sexyest dorm house ever…. we’re goin show these other dorms who runs shit…”

Other burning questions amongst the Terrible 12s on the “2012” group include marijuana (answer, according to one: “DO IT, DUH.”) and the virtues of their own individuality (“I beat all the varsity girls [but a couple] on the crew team on my erg score [rowing machines, for those who aren’t familiar with ergs] my freshman year.”)

Looking forward to meeting you, 12s! See you at Stephan’s party.

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  • yeah says:

    @yeah i beat my dick with an erg machine freshman year

  • um... says:

    @um... beating varsity girls with your freshman erg score is not really impressive at all…more like expected.

    oh, and a piece of advice to all incoming freshmen: there are probably a bunch of cool kids in your class, but anyone who offers to throw a party that early in the summer is a tool. just warning you.

  • wow says:

    @wow I think this guy Stephan is a character that someone made up. He cannot be a real person. Look at some of the things he writes on peoples walls. and his pictures

    1. Stephan says:

      @Stephan Yeah I must disagree with you in regards to your belief that Stephan is a made up character; do just look at his pictures and his comments he is very much real. I would know this.

      1. person in the know says:

        @person in the know really Stephan? I don’t know if that’s your real name. Unless your real name is Jose Perez. Cause he might be living in Carman 1114A-2.

        1. haha says:

          @haha shut up and stop abusing your privilege of seeing room assignments because you work for housing, Cliff Massey. Such a tiny amount of power going to your head.

          1. haha says:

            @haha yeah that, in fact, wasn’t Cliff who posted that. it was me. and I am (thankfully) not Cliff.

            don’t assume that you have to work for housing to find this stuff out

  • eek says:

    @eek where is the heroin topic?

  • ... says:

    @... 1990… i remember the year well… it was the year that hurricane lawnbirdia made landfall at lego lake, forever transforming the once tranquil lives of it’s inhabitants, many of which whose bodies were never successfully recovered.

    it was a sad, sad year…

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous I know you were trying to be funny, but not only did I not laugh, I feel bad for you. You’ve made me sad with your pathetic attempt at humor, and you should probably never try and be funny ever again.

      1. ... says:

        @... it’s perfectly okay, i don’t need you to feel bad for me. you may take your pity and return it to it’s apparently well worn home.

        1. I spy says:

          @I spy an extraneous apostrophe

          1. ... says:

            @... yeah yeah… i do it all the time…

            hat’s how you can tell me from the “…” imposter who seeks to tarnish my good anonymous psuedonym. look for my screwed up “possessive it’s” and you know it’s genuine…

          2. ... says:

            @... it’s a bad week for spelling and grammar.

    2. Yeah says:

      @Yeah Not to mention the fact that there were at least two grammatical errors in that comment, and one of them happened when you put an extra word in (“which whose”??) probably thinking you were smart.

  • anonymous says:

    @anonymous looks like he and all the other homosexicles on this campus will be having a blast the first night of NSOP…

    1. anonymous says:

      @anonymous and i meant that in the “i love all the homosexicles on this campus” way of course

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous It is worth noting that the dorm assignments that were published turned out to be wrong, so the party will almost certainly not take place CAR 1114A-2.

    Also, please don’t judge us by our Facebook selves. A thread that poses the question “What made you stand out that gave you ‘the right’ to be accepted to such an institution?” is bound to bring out the worst in people.

    1. thank you says:

      @thank you Thanks you so much for providing this context.

      Otherwise, we might have misjudged you lot.

  • John Wilcox says:

    @John Wilcox smoke every day

  • Stephan says:

    @Stephan “See you at Stephan’s party.”??!?
    Bwog ain’t invited to my Party! Shiii. I bet none’yall ever even lived in Carman. Class of ’12 out!


    1. yeah says:

      @yeah nobody from bwog could get into the exclusive 587-person dorm

    2. Stephan says:

      @Stephan That’s def. not my post. So please stop trying to impersonate me

  • I think says:

    @I think this was a great post. But I remember the post on the 11s(or was it earlier this year with the same 12s?) last year, and I remember their facebook antics as being superior in hilarity. Step it up 12s. I seem to be remember a facebook group entitled “Class of 2011 works hard but parties harder”. Does that jewel still exist?

  • yah huh says:

    @yah huh This bores me. I can find idiots at Columbia without bwog’s help.

  • Brilliant says:

    @Brilliant Some of Stephan’s favorite literature?

    “any/all of Gabriel Garcia Marcus’ books.”

    I never cared much for his writing. I’m a much bigger fan of Isabel Ayennde and Jorge Louis Borhayes.

  • every year says:

    @every year takes away a little of the dignity that came with my CU degree.
    Some of the posts make my testicles grow arms and climb back into my body.

  • even worse says:

    @even worse Whatever. As far as i’m concerned we’re all columbia university students, we just chose our respective colleges based on preference.

    1. Anonymous. says:

      @Anonymous. Heh.




  • quote attribution says:

    @quote attribution barnard girl, of course.

  • ... says:

    @... this is a rip from an ivygate article a month ago

    1. Juli says:

      @Juli Actually it’s a follow-up to a series we started five months ago.

  • For the record... says:

    @For the record... some of us were actually born in 1989, you know.

  • Cristen S-K says:

    @Cristen S-K Thanks, I just put it on my Outlook. See you all then and enjoy your summers!

  • 2012er says:

    @2012er as a member of the class of 2012, i can attest to seeing Stephan in person at Days on Campus. Let me assure you, he is real, frighteningly real.

    1. '12 says:

      @'12 certainly did that for me. and I’m glad to see that there are enough ’12ers who at least anonymously disapprove of his artificial super-social behavior.

  • not so terrible 12 says:

    @not so terrible 12 as another member of the class of 2012, i’d also like to say not all of us are like this

    1. Lies says:

      @Lies Bollocks to you chaps. Return to the depths of your 1990s cocoons.

      1. ... says:

        @... Like someone already said, not all of us were born in the 90s. Surprisingly, some of us were born in 1989, and may even be older than some members of the Class of 2011! zomgggg!! shocker.

        1. uh... says:

          @uh... the dumb ones you mean?

  • yes says:

    @yes stephan is in fact real. he graduated with my cousin and he won the bill gates scholarship. he’s actually really nice. and this sounds like him.

    1. Stephan says:

      @Stephan Hey I appreciate the positivity on your behalf. May I ask who your cousin is?

      I find it humorous how most of these people act like they know me well enough to judge me based on a random facebook posting. All these criticisms and shots taken at me aren’t going to do anymore then simply amuse me; it’s going to take more then an uproar caused by a BWOG article to tear me apart. But kudos to all for trying

      1. '12 says:

        @'12 then = than, which cancels out the intellect you tried to slip in there with the semicolon.

        please just stop talking, stephan, you’re embarrassing us.

      2. lol says:

        @lol tool

  • aha! says:

    @aha! now THAT is interesting.
    and it checks out with his UNI.

  • History repeats says:

    @History repeats stephan is the new JHN II

  • '11 says:

    @'11 Stephan is the new Tania/Vesal/annoying 2011er

  • brensal says:

    @brensal I’m a 2012er and this article made me laugh. hard.
    I applied to Columbia with the hope that the dumbass concentration would be lower than that of my high school, but perhaps that is not the case. Though it’s good to know that there are people to make fun of everywhere.
    I need to go plan my outfit for Stephan’s party, later. =)

  • '12 says:

    @'12 I would have to say that, if anything, facebook let’s you figure out who to steer clear of when you first get to campus.

    1. can says:

      @can everyone stop with all the misplaced apostrophes? it’s driving me nuts and making me stupid””””””””.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous I love everyone.

  • pondo says:

    @pondo oh, this is just a mess of crazy.

    That class of 2012’s internet antics can be seen across the far-flung reaches of the internet probably blows their minds.

    they never dreamed that they would be thrown to the light blue lions before August. Those last sweet months of enthusism are lost!

  • Jasmine says:

    @Jasmine I’m disappointed in the “elder” Columbians who posted this article and have responded to it in negative ways. People did not choose this school to be harassed, ridiculed, and made to feel inferior because someone is so arrogant and apparently, perfect, that they feel that they have the right to judge others.

    Congratulations. YOU have just made yourself look like an ostentatious asshole.

    1. Nahh... says:

      @Nahh... they just haven’t had time to have their hopes and dreams crushed yet.

      Give ’em time.

      Hey 2012, here’s a tip – don’t give Columbia your real SS. They might accidentally post it on the interwebs for months before telling you about it.

    2. '11 says:

      @'11 Dear Jasmine,

      You clearly haven’t been here yet. If you don’t want to be ridiculed, don’t use “ostentatious” in a bwog post. Moreover, if you don’t want to be ridiculed, don’t go to Columbia.

      And I’m not sure that this is better than the post on the 2011 class. It was certainly a jewel.

      And as long as this Stephan fellow doesn’t write multiple Spec columns that smack of arrogance or create ten new facebook albums a week about his various drunken exploits, he shall never become a Vesal/Tania type.

  • .... says:

    @.... so how about we start naming those annoying ’12ers (anonymous ’12ers invited)?

  • oldie says:

    @oldie to post #39 — that’s HILARIOUS
    altho he probs won’t be a rich coke head if he’s a gates scholar — more like someone who’ll end up being a moocher

    but wow 1990? shit i’m old (slash just graduated and miss CU so much! haha)

  • JR WRITER says:



  • '11 student says:

    @'11 student As part of the ’11 class, which was so roundly mocked in the Bwog, I feel like I can appreciate this post. Bwog = caustic, get used to it. Every incoming freshman class is going to be ribbed and ridiculed as such, and when your time comes, you can do the ribbing and ridiculing. Welcome to the Columbia pecking order.

  • 2012 says:

    @2012 Thought I’d add some favorite quotes from my future classmates at Barnard:

    Yasmin Amir (Columbia) replied to Dina’s post
    on Jun 29, 2008 at 10:46 AM
    Dina, you + me + alcohol = first night of orientation

    Liza Darvin (Columbia) wrote
    on Jul 3, 2008 at 7:06 PM
    can i just say that barnard is like INSANELY strict? dry dorms? ugh puh-lease!!! it feels like we’re joing a nunnery or something….

    anyways, i am totally down for partying anytime with u wonderful ladies!!! i just don’t know how im going to make room for all the other things i want to do… hopefully i can take one night off to see equus or the daily show!

    Colette McIntyre (Columbia) wrote
    on Jun 30, 2008 at 5:11 PM
    fuck yeah i’m all about the party.
    dance parties in my dorm…all the time. 24/7
    i’m actually using some of scholarship money from school to buy myself a beautiful fake id from a kid in my town..which i consider a total must have.

    24/7 dance parties, dry dorms, scholarship-funded fake id, and equus? fuck yeah, bitches!

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