Know what you’re going to be for Halloween? Neither do we. With three days to go, it’s time to give in and get serious—you’re not going to buck gender normativity this year, pal. But all is not lost, with this list of easy-to-find, last minute costumes. Hustle over to Ricky’s (you know you’ve always wanted to see the inside) or a friend’s well-stocked closet so you don’t feel like a fool come Friday
O’Connell’s Cougar: Distinguish yourself from the riffraff with this studded “Waist Beauty”
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Grad student: She works nights to pay for her Ph.D., but that doesn’t mean she can’t have a little fun. The “Slutty Barista” ($29.99) is at Ricky’s.
Columbia’s Shrinking Endowment: Find a large friend and wear his clothes. A variation on the traditional “Shrinking Woman” costume.
The Regretful Carman Resident: Doodle on yourself with permanent marker. Look forlorn, and repeat: “No, guys! I was napping, not passed out!”
PrezBo: Wear your favorite “FUCK THE DRAFT” jacket. Defend your right to do so.
Brown Student: Columbia students of the 1960’s wish they were this cool.
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Jeffrey Sachs: Buy The End of Poverty, $14 (in paperback) at the bookstore. Be self-assured.
The Other: Collect your friends’ University Writing Lens Essays. Tape them to your body, overuse the phrase “societal construct,” and make people feel generally uncomfortable.
If, after all that, you’re still unwilling to be a cog in the corporate machine, you can always dress up as Jack Kerouac. Spend the night hunched over your typewriter at the Hungarian—no parties allowed.
10 Comments
@Harmony Hunter my IP address changes because I am moving around a lot trying to find Harmony.
@anonymous liz is baller
@Harmony Hunter Hunter does anyone know where I can find harmony hunter? we have an axe to grind if you know what I mean.
@Harmony Hunter I’m going to be harmony for the birthday of halloween
Anyone have any tips on what harmony looks like and how to get there? by the way it’s not just for myself because my friend is definitely trapped there and needs my help.
@please please for the love of god explain why you keep making this joke. not saying it’s not funny, since i dont even know the context for why you are making. so PLEASE explain
@because... he/she probably wants to be mentioned in this year’s varsity show.
@history http://bwog.net/publicate/index.php?page=post&article_id=8288
i dont understand why bwog just doesnt ban this person’s IP address….
@I am a BANANA!
@social construct GET IT RIGHT
@... Your preference is a social construct.