Koronet’s Ups Prices, Kills Dreams

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At 1:33 AM yesterday morning, a tipster sent Bwog an urgent message: “THIS WILL NOT STBAD.”

Koronet’s super-sized pizza, in all its greasy goodness, now costs $3.75. This 25 cent price hike follows a steady quarter-a-year trend.

It’s unnerving, because when you’re schwasted, you’ll throw down anything just for chow.  Only the next morning will you realize you’ve lost that prized Hawaii state quarter— the one that finally completed your collection! By the way, anyone notice there’s a Guam state quarter now? Shenanigans.

Bwog’s very own Hannah Goldstein offered us her personal New York theory: pizza price increases foreshadow fare hikes. No, say it isn’t so! But still, intriguing.

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  1. statician

    Someone needs to tell Hannah Goldstein that correlation does not imply causation.

  2. you ever notice...  

    tuition goes up around 1,000 dollars a year, and there are no bwog articles about this, yet every 25 cent increase in koronets costs consistently gets an article?

    • ...  

      this is a posh school, nobody cares about such pedestrian issues such as how much their parents pay. (or how much the sticker price is, since cc/seas get proper financial aid for those who need it).

      the only undergrads who care about that issue are gs. (specifically those who aren't being used by columbia as proxies for milking the hell out of the GI bill)

      it's quite a nice little racket really. they inflate their prices and face no consequences as they're able to use their brand equity to lure students into financially untenable postions. when the untenability of said financial positions are realized by the sucke^H^H^H^H^Hstudents, columbia has long disappeared in the rearview mirror with loan checks long cleared. until, well, the very last legs are kicked out of the economy when the student loan bubble explodes.

      will columbia's brand equity be strong enough to overcome its complicity in doing its part to bring about the student loan meltdown of 201x? stay tuned!

      • ehhh

        Why would there be a student loan meltdown? By law, student loan debt cannot be escaped. You can't "foreclose."

        • ...  

          private: graduation! -> weak job market/underemployment/debt load out of sync with compensation market -> loan enters default -> balance multiplies -> bank goes after cosigner -> cosigner can no longer make mortgage payment -> foreclosure! (multiply! multiply!) -> securitized student loan debt deemed "toxic" (multiply! multiply!) -> weaker job market/more underemployment/downward pressure on fragile economy

          ffelp: graduation! -> weak job market/underemployment/debt load out of sync with compensation market -> loan enters default -> balance multiplies -> government chases after borrower -> small garnish of already low wages/ui benefits -> guaranty agencies fold -> securitized student loan debt deemed "toxic" (multiply! multiply!) -> meltdown! (bailout?) -> weaker job market/more underemployment/downward pressure on fragile economy

          that's the idea. they're not perfect, but you probably get the picture. the point is, when you get a wave of defaults, nobody wins when the economy as a whole is sputtering. think of it as like a nice little turbocharger for the recession machine that only kicks in once you get to a certain speed, and well, we're getting there...

  3. Hungry  

    Bwog, does anyone around here do really good fish and chips? Preferably on the go? This weather is giving me a craving.

  4. Anonymous

    Ms. Goldstein is correct, January 1 we will experience a fare hike only us college kids won't notice because it is only affecting the monthly metrocards

  5. Hannah  (Bwog Staff)  

    In Bwog's defense, the verb "to foreshadow" does not suggest causation. You can foreshadow something and lack any causation in either direction, but rather be linked by a lurking variable, for instance.

  6. patty  

    try the beef patty, its delicious

  7. 2O13

    Kudos to whoever wrote this. It's short, but funny.

  8. hmmm

    Perhaps for some mysterious but completely explainable reason, the cost of running a subway system is intimately linked to the fair market price of milk... All this time we thought the MTA was mismanaged and hopelessly inept, and that Albany was horrendously negligent... when the real culprit the whole time was a merciless dust storm in the plains of Iowa.

  9. hmmm

    Anyway, on the Guam state quarter issue, I hate to be too crude, but you do know there are 57 states, right? The president has been to all of them...

  10. Council Bro

    Great post bwog. Funny, succinct, and relevant!

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