Apr

27

Community Impact Gets Fancy-Schmancy

Written by , Posted in Copy Edit

Minglin'

Today, from 4 to 6 pm, Prezbo held a “Garden Party” to celebrate 30 years of Community Impact tutoring children and adults, conducting health outreach, and generally working to improve the community. It was pretty swanky. Waiters who could have doubled as J-Crew models served hors d’œuvres of all kinds. The duck-and-apricot satchels titillated the taste buds of the well-dressed guests.  The lemonade “tasted like skittles.” When one Bwogger asked for water, the waiter responded, “Sparkling or still? Lemon or lime?” The event demonstrated Columbia’s ability to fulfill the most demanding, Gossip-Girly Ivy League fantasy.

It seemed an egregious waste of tuition dollars, but nobody on the receiving end complained…

The event took place in PrezBo’s garden, which lies in the shadow of Wien. Fifty or so CI members and administrators gather on some really dank grass. About 30 minutes in, PrezBo gave a short speech about CI; he was followed by several CI operatives. After some nice words by all parties, PrezBo took the mic again addressing stressed undergrads, “I know this is a tough time for you. Relax, eat, and take as much food as you can carry.”

Behaving like a common dog.

After that, everyone returned to mingling and the waiters served more skittles-lemonade. Out of nowhere, PrezBo’s dog showed up! PrezBone, far less classy than his dandruff-free master, ate scraps off the ground. PrezBone acted just like any other puppy, and honestly behaved below his station.

This event was classy as fuck, even if a little ironic. Washing down duck-and-apricot satchels with sparkling water and lime while hobnobbing with PrezBo in a multi-million dollar mansion overlooking Harlem and Morningside Park felt a little strange—especially considering it’s a program that works to help our neighbors.

Hors , d’œuvre

16 Comments

  1. hey says:

    here's lookin at you, mogiebear!

  2. yo says:

    What happened to that LDAP article?

  3. Anonymous says:  

    that what i ate?

    well damn.

  4. Gossip Girl fantasy? says:  

    Surely, you jest.

    None of the girls in that picture (safe for maybe one in the corner....barely) appears to how to dress. Honestly why does this look like that AePi Jewish Luau from The Social Network?

    C'mon, girls, shape up.

  5. Anonymous says:

    guy on the right. sweet plaid ensemble.

  6. oh.shit.nigga says:

    my dick is wayyyyy bigger

  7. Anonymous says:  

    also the female photographer took close to 2765468712 shots of the dog, Arthur. why?!

  8. Anonymous says:  

    All of the programs under CI's domain do absolutely INCREDIBLE work, but CI itself is merely an absurd and inefficient bureaucracy.

  9. Anonymous says:

    JMogz, you are lookin' fine!

  10. PrezBone says:  

    looks like the dog was busy sniffing out the ugliest shoes at that party.

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