Is Bo$$ $tatu$ the Future of Hip-Hop?

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From their new music video, “Bottles Bitch”

You may have heard about Bo$$ $tatu$, self-styled “rap collective” of some thirteen 2015ers; they performed live for the first time at ADP’s coffehaus last weekend. $tylized $obriquet $upporter Conor Skelding made his way into a recording session.

Last Thursday night, at a quarter til’ eleven, I found myself walking the fluorescent halls of Furnald, on my way to interview Bo$$ $tatu$. When from behind one door I heard heavy bass and laughter, I knocked.

A minute later, I and ten other guys stood huddled in a 120 sq. ft single. On the desk, A MIDI sampler and keyboard sat next to a MacBook Pro. On one wall, Biggie smoked a blunt; on the Wu-Tang clan posed; on a third was a hand-drawn Bo$$ $tatu$ poster.

After shaking hands, they asked if I “wanted to hear their shit.” Assuring them that I did, they started to freestyle. The beat went around one way around the circle; a 40 the other. Ribbing one another, they rapped about Barnard, Kindles (“fuck Nooks”), dutchies, John Jay, race, and oral sex.

Soon after they’d warmed up, we got to chatting. “Bo$$ $tatu$” was conceived on November 10th, 2011, when,during a birthday party, they impressed themselves free-styling to beats from an iPhone. Their forthcoming album’s title, Bottles Bitch, was also a product of their boozy brainstorm. One had gotten into hip-hop in grade school and another in high school; a third counts Gandhi as one of his influences.

“We’re not trying to be the next Vampire Weekend,” one averred, “although the comparison has been made.”

I asked what had been on my mind at their ADP show, at which a video projector looped pretty graphic, uh, cumshots on the wall. “We’d found out there was a projector,” one offered. (Ejaculation is a theme.)

At their ADP show

And how do they respond to assertions that their lyrics are sexist? (A tame example: “I like two things: girls and fried chicken, good thing, both can be found in the kitchen.”)  “Fuck haters,” says one, “you see me in Ferris, say that shit to my face.” Another took issue with the idea that “making fun of real problems cheapens real sexism. We just don’t buy into that. You shouldn’t censor something that is humor.” A third: “[W]e don’t really buy that what people perceive as misogynistic tendencies in Hip-Hop produces sexism […] I think our offensive lyrics more utilize humour to make a comment on I guess the paranoia and self-righteousness some people approach sexism with.”

However, at the adjective “ironic,” they bristled. “Are we serious, are we ironic, are we not? I don’t think any of us can conclusively answer that. It’s part of what makes us interesting, blurring that line.”

In one track, following gunshots, broken glass, and heavy breathing, Bullhorn from Black Dynamite, exclaims, “Man, this time, these crackers have gone too far!” B$ intones, “Yeah, we have.”

They mentioned “the blogger incident,” when some Tumblr user called them “virgin, middle-class, white boys” who “fucked dreams.” They are accordingly considering naming their next album Dreamfuckers.

I had to ask what their parents think. Surprisingly, “they’re like really happy that I’m doing this.” Another: “My dad is a huge fan.” A third: “They’re just happy I’m like making friends.” Were they nerds in high school? “Fuck yeah.”

In another track, they brag, “Our brains are only reason bitches on our dicks, yeah, we pretty smart, we know our Rousseau from our Descartes, yeah, yeah, and we read the original French when we read our Sartre.”

So what were their favorite Lit Hum books? “Confessions, since the dude talks about trying to get a nut off. Only problem was, he didn’t finish. Those sexual urges, he should have celebrated that shit.”

They’re nerds no longer: “Seniors know who I am, because of Bo$$ $tatu$. A girl saw one of our posters, which said ‘We need asses,’ and literally offered me her ass.”

I asked if they cared that their band name abbreviated to “bullshit,” but was swiftly corrected. They told me: “Be the money you want to see in the world.”

Bo$$ $tatu$’s new music video, “Bottles Bitch,” is on Youtube. Listen to them on their Bandcamp. They might be at this year’s Fed Bash, which I guess could go either way. Bo$$ $tatu$ is made up of Michael Blair (Migraine), Torsten Odland (T-Bullet), Miguel Gallego (Pizza), Alex Curtis (Lexx), Kevin Roark (l8 bl00mer), Brian Thorn (Brain), Sam Stevens (Slambone), Dylan Kario (Dexter), Cooper Matthieson (Coop), Joe Bucciero (ASJ (Average Sized Joe)), Palmer Foote (Ray P), and David Silberthau (Silb).

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  1. Anonymous  

    they are no puppy cops

  2. Anonymous  

    wait, like why.

  3. Hater  

    Too bad they have no flow. Their lyrics aren't the worst but they have significantly worse flow that mandelbaum and crew.

    Also they take themselves WAY to seriously, comparing themselves to VW and talking about "what makes them interesting."

  4. Odd Future  

    quick, let's all have an opinion

  5. Hey dude  

    I just got ableton

  6. ADP  

    this is looking really good for you

  7. Sam  

    So there are actually talented rappers all over campus but these dudes get a whole piece devoted to them? Wow.

  8. Anonymous  

    puppy cops was the only remotely punk thing to ever happen on columbia's campus

  9. Don't Be Scared Homie  

    “you see me in Ferris, say that shit to my face.”

    What are any of these skinny, pasty lookin dudes gonna do?

  10. Just  

    SO many things wrong with this. Bwog has failed to cover good, hardworking artists on campus and instead puts out this ignorant trash. i'm done.

  11. Hmmmm  

    this article is a checklist of vaguely unpleasant, charmless, harmless things. boring, "self-aware" suburban privilege? check. insipid "so meta!" jokes about irony? check. unserious jokes about cooking drugs? check. high school french? check. edgy projector shows? check.

    i'm not saying i hate them or anything, just sort of dislike them in an impersonal sense. everything they stand for (ironic sexism, comments on ironic sexism in hip-hop culture, mostly white party rap groups who think they're way more threatening than they really are (Dreamfuckers? meth and crack-cooking jokes? whut.)) are so totally boring at this point that I have to wonder if they've just come full circle already and are cool again. This is why tyler the creator is better appreciated than imitated.

  12. Anonymous  

    These guys make Lil B look like a genius

  13. Anonymous  

    why is there an article about this. Irrelevant feature, Bwog.

  14. Fuuuuu....  

    I lost brain cells reading this. That and faith in humanity...

  15. ryan  

    i've never seen a review of CUSH, bwog

  16. they're the future of hip hop  

    if the future of hip hop lies in a sewage system somewhere

  17. throwing shade  

    “[W]e don’t really buy that what people perceive as misogynistic tendencies in Hip-Hop produces sexism [...] I think our offensive lyrics more utilize humour to make a comment on I guess the paranoia and self-righteousness some people approach sexism with.”

    Right like women (and anyone with a fucking social conscience) aren't justified in taking seriously the degradation, mistreatment and exploitation of 50% of the world's population, no less 66% of our school's. Like sexism isn't real. Like it's more ridiculous to stand up for your rights and identity than to dress like idiots make a shitty music video and joke about exploiting women


  18. Anonymous  

    it's funny BECAUSE bwog commenters take it seriously

  19. Anonymous  

    you guys shut up! boss status is really good, you guys just don't understand their sophisticated critique on society expressed through edgy ironic hip hop!

    oh wait, they just suck ass.

  20. Anonymous  

    Everyone's entitled to their own opinion of boss status. That's the beauty of boss status.

  21. This

    is actually a very well written article. Snaps to that.

  22. Anonymous  

    a) C'mon guys, full disclosure. One of the members, Bijan, is ON Bwog. It's kind of basic journalistic ethics to let your readers know that.

    b) If saying sexist things doesn't make you sexist...what does? Food for thought.

  23. Shocked

    I am shocked

    They don't even suck enough for it to be ironic had they tried. It's in the uncanny valley of awkwardness and should be killed with fire immediately.

  24. this is a joke, right?  

    Fuck this shit.

  25. eminem  

    learn to take a joke, ya'll. boss status deserves more than harsh criticism from anonymous bloggers. boss status is a group of friends who rap for fun, and they have a lot of fun doing it. there's nothing more to it.

    • Anonymous

      When they make a video, publicize it, create a Facebook group for their album dropping, and perform at a free, PUBLIC venue, theyre asking for people to engage with their work, and they have to take responsibility for that. If they were saying this shit and being as basic as they are alone in their rooms and kept it to themselves itd still be shitty but they could make an easier case for not being able to be criticized. You can't broadcast yourself and shirk all responsibility for what you send out. Hiding behind this shitty veil of meta humor, "being friends who just wanna have fun if angry feminist bloggers would just let them", and PCness is immature and weak

      • eminem  

        you aren't "engaging" with their work. you're refusing to give them the fair chance of listening to their music with the perspective that they encourage: lightheartedness. you're taking their lyrics, which are not meant to be taken seriously, with too much weight. i'm a woman, and i am not offended by boss status. you're blowing boss status and what they do all out of proportion.

        • hmm  

          [ intrans. ] ( engage in) participate or become involved in : organizations engage in a variety of activities | ( be engaged in) some are actively engaged in crime.
          • ( engage with) establish a meaningful contact or connection with : the teams needed to engage with local communities.
          • [ trans. ] enter into conflict or combat with (an adversary).
          [ trans. ] occupy, attract, or involve (someone's interest or attention) : he plowed on, trying to outline his plans and engage Sutton's attention.
          • ( engage someone in) cause someone to become involved in (a conversation or discussion).

    • Anonymous  

      wait so every group of friends who raps for fun/makes videos for fun/has a tumblr for fun/goes biking for fun/does anything for fun should get a bwog article on them? wow the content on this website just got a whole lot better.


    You know you're doing something right or wrong if you have HATERS. Either way you're doing something. Keep having fun and doing whay you love boys!

  27. Lubeen  

    Sam Stevens is a dope producer doe. We made this joint together -->

  28. pizza  

    okay i'll bite.

    i wasn't at this interview but from what i've heard from people who were, i think a lot of the comments (the ones about vampire weekend and 'saying it to my face at lerner') were said as jokes and that isn't presented in the tone of the article at all.

    but thats pretty incidental, because what concerns me is the way members of boss status responded to the criticism regarding the sexism in the lyrics. i'm just gonna go on the record and say i basically disagree with the way my '''''''crew-mates''' responded entirely and think their dismissal of a valid criticism is intellectually lazy and suggests a lack of awareness. same thing with the "ambiguity" regarding whether or not we're supposed to be serious or not. fuck that. i feel like i've had words put in my mouth and really wish i wasn't mentioned in this article.

    humor, when directed carefully, can be incisively subversive. boss status is not that. there is no well-thought out intellectualization of the sexist humor. there is no contextualization of bo$$ $tatu$ that would frame the sexist humor in a way that seems acceptable. I wish i could say that bo$$ $tatu$ was a parody of the idea of bo$$ $tatu$. then i could read the comments we made and laugh at how spot on our impression of oblivious privileged kids is.

    the reality is that bo$$ $tatu$ is a thoughtless thing that i (and i can only really speak for myself) participated in for fun and to make fun of myself. that its took off the way it has and has gotten the attention has is something i have really mixed feelings about. when you do something among friends you have different expectations. once it started ***taking off*** and people started enabling what was essentially just a stupid drunken circle-jerk, it made me really uncomfortable. as a joke among friends i kind of tried to just ignore some of the sexist shit different members would rap about (yo im gonna try to absolve myself of this and like.... get all you guys on my side by mentioning that i stuck to rappin about jacking off and hating myself VALIDATE MY THOUGHTFULLNESS, PLEASE.). but now people beyond my circle of friends are listening to and responding to the music, and it makes sense that people have problems with it or are offended by it. people who don't know us have no reason to interpret it charitably, or do any of the mental gymnastics required to try to make our lyrics not seem offensive. the fact that we have no direction and dodge questions regarding whether we're 'ironic or not' because we can't actually agree doesn't help.

    that being said the dudes in boss status are all my friends, and i think they're good-natured dudes and i like them a lot. the gap between intentions and interpretations is a tricky one. i don't think any of us intend to be offensive, but that doesn't diminish the validity of the opinions of those who are offended by us.

    so basically i am thoroughly embarrassed by the way we come off in this article and i am sincerely sorry to anyone who's offended. you're entitled to that. you can say it to me at lerner and i won't react violently or anything i'll apologize and listen to what you have to say and probably knit you a sweater or something.

    also it is absolutely fucked up that bwog wrote an article about us and not about the people who are working hard to make their music and aren't just circle jerkin onto a slice of wonder bread and inviting random strangers to do the same.

  29. Anonymous  

    LOLLLZ This is exactly what they want you to think, don't you get it?

  30. The Weeknd  

    "They Lovin' the Crew... Oh wait..."

  31. Anonymous  


  32. Anonymous  

    They do not deserve to be compared to Vampire Weekend.

  33. OG Lo

    Bo$$ $tatus is that new Trilla wave in the streets. They're in the same place Big L was. Giving love, kissing babies, and what not. How could you not $ee that? Yes it's a joke. You don't have to laugh but it's still funny

  34. Anonymous  

    i think you're right. its unfair of me to have not tried to phrase these things succinctly to members of the group earlier, and to now go on a public forum and say it. but i'm entitled to express myself as an individual, and as a member of the group, i feel responsible for how other people are reacting to it. i basically just feel pretty shitty about it.

  35. Anonymous  

    I feel like they're trolling Columbia University...

  36. Anonymous  

    oops meant to post this some where else I BLEW IT sorry guys.

  37. SwearWord

    Wait about a year and this becomes blackmail material.

  38. > inb4

    Bwog goes into typical "How could you anonymous commenters be so HEARTLESS?!" mode. Stories like this have led me to believe that Bwog is the biggest troll on campus.

    Oh, and re: these folks--y'all look 13/there is a post-college world/google exists in this post-college world. Best of luck!

    - CC '12

  39. Humorist

    It's obviously a joke, but then again so is Columbia's Student body's sense of humor.

    • Anonymous  

      do you go here or are you just some princeton douchebag who has nothing better to do than read bwog

      • Funny  

        I stand corrected, your ignorance is definitely funnier. I do go here, but I assume by your tasteless remarks about Princeton, without a basis for comparison, that you didn't get accepted to that school. Still, it's clear you're really "sticking it" to those Princeton guys so go ahead, revel in your revenge champ.

  40. jungle fever  

    fuck nooks

  41. anon  

    these lyrics make me so fucking sad. and i'm not even a girl.

  42. Anonymous  

    the girl with dat dijonnaise on her face is pretty bangin

  43. please  

    put on a shirt before you blind someone

  44. Anonymous  

    nobody actually likes this. but i also don't think we're supposed to. they aren't taking it seriously, really, and we shouldn't either.

  45. Anonymous  


  46. puppy cops

    don't worry, we have this under control

  47. Finally Famous  

    Double-Edged Sword of Fame: Googling these names during job apps might result in some mixed feelings

  48. Racism  

    Everyone hates Boss Status cause they're white

  49. Anonymous 1001  

    Its interesting to note, cyber hate is in effect
    If you want to take a stab, have a talk don't disrespect
    It's all about the love, with a little bit of silly
    If your hurt by the silly, I'm sorry...for really

    I'm not trying to defend, I'm not trying to pretend
    I'm not trying to contend, but this hate just doesn't end
    Attempt to wreck beats, trying to bring the heat
    Switch it up a little, and maybe bring you to your feet

    It seems like thats what they've done, so sir you ok?
    Your shouting hate on a screen, get on with your day!
    You've stated your claim, your done, so back away
    Keep killin it boys, cuz I'm a follower here to stay

    -I know its only a 12, but whatever. keep at it b$

  50. god damnit  


  51. Anonymous  

    HOLY SHIT. STOP, PLEASE. nothing makes me want to kill myself via infinite CC sessions like white, hipster, gay, "ironic" (DR has already done that), douchetits like yourselves. Btw, cool biggie poster BRO, not like every freshman got of those at walmart this summer in an attempt to *reinvent their nerd image from high school* because it was essentially the only rapper they knew. Also, bringin the the intergroup drama to bwog, meoooooowww. keepin it classy. You might want to use your parents trust funds to pay for a pr agent when yall "blow up" jajajaja

    Oh, and can't wait to hear your next, next album called "Douchtits", I'm bankin on that.

    YOmuthurfuckingLO--except don't, and disband immediately for the college community's--and our own-- wellbeing.

    muah! xoxo

  52. Anonymous  

    this post has almost as many comments as the varsity show review. what does that say about our community and what it values. sighhhhhh

  53. Anonymous  


  54. Anonymous  

    these guys are as $ICK A$ CAN$ER

  55. Anonymous  

    If B$ doe$n't take them$elve$ $eriou$ly, neither $hould anyone el$e.

  56. CUSH Supporter  

    This is cool. But, be sure to come out to the Battle this weeks:

  57. HA  

    they resemble virgin mickey avalons sans tattoos and cocaine

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