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Is Bo$$ $tatu$ the Future of Hip-Hop?

From their new music video, “Bottles Bitch”

You may have heard about Bo$$ $tatu$, self-styled “rap collective” of some thirteen 2015ers; they performed live for the first time at ADP’s coffehaus last weekend. $tylized $obriquet $upporter Conor Skelding made his way into a recording session.

Last Thursday night, at a quarter til’ eleven, I found myself walking the fluorescent halls of Furnald, on my way to interview Bo$$ $tatu$. When from behind one door I heard heavy bass and laughter, I knocked.

A minute later, I and ten other guys stood huddled in a 120 sq. ft single. On the desk, A MIDI sampler and keyboard sat next to a MacBook Pro. On one wall, Biggie smoked a blunt; on the Wu-Tang clan posed; on a third was a hand-drawn Bo$$ $tatu$ poster.

After shaking hands, they asked if I “wanted to hear their shit.” Assuring them that I did, they started to freestyle. The beat went around one way around the circle; a 40 the other. Ribbing one another, they rapped about Barnard, Kindles (“fuck Nooks”), dutchies, John Jay, race, and oral sex.

Soon after they’d warmed up, we got to chatting. “Bo$$ $tatu$” was conceived on November 10th, 2011, when,during a birthday party, they impressed themselves free-styling to beats from an iPhone. Their forthcoming album’s title, Bottles Bitch, was also a product of their boozy brainstorm. One had gotten into hip-hop in grade school and another in high school; a third counts Gandhi as one of his influences.

“We’re not trying to be the next Vampire Weekend,” one averred, “although the comparison has been made.”

I asked what had been on my mind at their ADP show, at which a video projector looped pretty graphic, uh, cumshots on the wall. “We’d found out there was a projector,” one offered. (Ejaculation is a theme.)

At their ADP show

And how do they respond to assertions that their lyrics are sexist? (A tame example: “I like two things: girls and fried chicken, good thing, both can be found in the kitchen.”)  “Fuck haters,” says one, “you see me in Ferris, say that shit to my face.” Another took issue with the idea that “making fun of real problems cheapens real sexism. We just don’t buy into that. You shouldn’t censor something that is humor.” A third: “[W]e don’t really buy that what people perceive as misogynistic tendencies in Hip-Hop produces sexism […] I think our offensive lyrics more utilize humour to make a comment on I guess the paranoia and self-righteousness some people approach sexism with.”

However, at the adjective “ironic,” they bristled. “Are we serious, are we ironic, are we not? I don’t think any of us can conclusively answer that. It’s part of what makes us interesting, blurring that line.”

In one track, following gunshots, broken glass, and heavy breathing, Bullhorn from Black Dynamite, exclaims, “Man, this time, these crackers have gone too far!” B$ intones, “Yeah, we have.”

They mentioned “the blogger incident,” when some Tumblr user called them “virgin, middle-class, white boys” who “fucked dreams.” They are accordingly considering naming their next album Dreamfuckers.

I had to ask what their parents think. Surprisingly, “they’re like really happy that I’m doing this.” Another: “My dad is a huge fan.” A third: “They’re just happy I’m like making friends.” Were they nerds in high school? “Fuck yeah.”

In another track, they brag, “Our brains are only reason bitches on our dicks, yeah, we pretty smart, we know our Rousseau from our Descartes, yeah, yeah, and we read the original French when we read our Sartre.”

So what were their favorite Lit Hum books? “Confessions, since the dude talks about trying to get a nut off. Only problem was, he didn’t finish. Those sexual urges, he should have celebrated that shit.”

They’re nerds no longer: “Seniors know who I am, because of Bo$$ $tatu$. A girl saw one of our posters, which said ‘We need asses,’ and literally offered me her ass.”

I asked if they cared that their band name abbreviated to “bullshit,” but was swiftly corrected. They told me: “Be the money you want to see in the world.”

Bo$$ $tatu$’s new music video, “Bottles Bitch,” is on Youtube. Listen to them on their Bandcamp. They might be at this year’s Fed Bash, which I guess could go either way. Bo$$ $tatu$ is made up of Michael Blair (Migraine), Torsten Odland (T-Bullet), Miguel Gallego (Pizza), Alex Curtis (Lexx), Kevin Roark (l8 bl00mer), Brian Thorn (Brain), Sam Stevens (Slambone), Dylan Kario (Dexter), Cooper Matthieson (Coop), Joe Bucciero (ASJ (Average Sized Joe)), Palmer Foote (Ray P), and David Silberthau (Silb).

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  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous why

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous they are no puppy cops

    1. Damn says:

      @Damn Thumbs up if you thought this was way too weird and creepy.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous wait, like why.

  • Hater says:

    @Hater Too bad they have no flow. Their lyrics aren’t the worst but they have significantly worse flow that mandelbaum and crew.

    Also they take themselves WAY to seriously, comparing themselves to VW and talking about “what makes them interesting.”

  • Odd Future says:

    @Odd Future quick, let’s all have an opinion

  • Hey dude says:

    @Hey dude I just got ableton

  • ADP says:

    @ADP this is looking really good for you

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous eh, they already do enough dumb stuff, this can’t hurt moar

  • Sam says:

    @Sam So there are actually talented rappers all over campus but these dudes get a whole piece devoted to them? Wow.

  • O God says:

    @O God Why?

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous puppy cops was the only remotely punk thing to ever happen on columbia’s campus

  • Don't Be Scared Homie says:

    @Don't Be Scared Homie “you see me in Ferris, say that shit to my face.”

    What are any of these skinny, pasty lookin dudes gonna do?

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous cry.

  • Just says:

    @Just SO many things wrong with this. Bwog has failed to cover good, hardworking artists on campus and instead puts out this ignorant trash. i’m done.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Didn’t Bwog just hate all over Varsity show the other day? Why are people taking their music reviews seriously?

  • Hmmmm says:

    @Hmmmm this article is a checklist of vaguely unpleasant, charmless, harmless things. boring, “self-aware” suburban privilege? check. insipid “so meta!” jokes about irony? check. unserious jokes about cooking drugs? check. high school french? check. edgy projector shows? check.

    i’m not saying i hate them or anything, just sort of dislike them in an impersonal sense. everything they stand for (ironic sexism, comments on ironic sexism in hip-hop culture, mostly white party rap groups who think they’re way more threatening than they really are (Dreamfuckers? meth and crack-cooking jokes? whut.)) are so totally boring at this point that I have to wonder if they’ve just come full circle already and are cool again. This is why tyler the creator is better appreciated than imitated.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous These guys make Lil B look like a genius

    1. Lil B is a genius says:

      @Lil B is a genius Lil B is a genius

      1. Yep says:

        @Yep BASED COMMENT

        1. SO BASED says:

          Somebody tell the earth I’m the best now
          Somebody tell the ocean I’m the best out
          Somebody tell the trees, I’m here now
          Somebody tell the world I’m Based now

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous why is there an article about this. Irrelevant feature, Bwog.

  • Fuuuuu.... says:

    @Fuuuuu.... I lost brain cells reading this. That and faith in humanity…

  • ryan says:

    @ryan i’ve never seen a review of CUSH, bwog

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous also james bennett pisses better rap
      you should hear it
      in a freestyle he once rhymed “chocolate” with “doctorate”

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Word to this shit. And CUSH has some seriously talented rappers.

    3. cmon says:

      @cmon remember that time in high school when you had to read a passage, and then identify the tone of the passage? yeah, well this would be a good time to use that knowledge. this piece is clearly a satire. the author isn’t being serious; s/he doesn’t think that Bo$$ $tatu$ is ACTUALLY the future of hip-hop. look at the author’s use of exaggeration and irony (e.g. “But then, they were the ones who brought that up”). if you take the time to read the post, you’ll realize that the point isn’t to showcase talent, it’s to poke fun at a group that takes itself too seriously — hence the hashtag “silly freshmen.”

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous I would say valid point if this wasn’t in same the tone as every other bwog article ever written. Noce try though!

        1. Anonymous says:

          @Anonymous I think this comment would have better gotten my point across if I had said “nice” instead of “noce”

          1. self-unaware suburban white dude says:

            @self-unaware suburban white dude maybe if you had said “noice” ?

      2. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous this

      3. danke says:

        @danke schoon

  • they're the future of hip hop says:

    @they're the future of hip hop if the future of hip hop lies in a sewage system somewhere

    1. YEEEAAAAHHH says:

      @YEEEAAAAHHH Siiiiiiiiiiick lines dawg, you should join Bo$$ $tatu$ or something.

      1. which also says:

        @which also makes me think…if your stage name has more dollar sign in it than ke$ha’s you should be worried

  • throwing shade says:

    @throwing shade “[W]e don’t really buy that what people perceive as misogynistic tendencies in Hip-Hop produces sexism […] I think our offensive lyrics more utilize humour to make a comment on I guess the paranoia and self-righteousness some people approach sexism with.”

    Right like women (and anyone with a fucking social conscience) aren’t justified in taking seriously the degradation, mistreatment and exploitation of 50% of the world’s population, no less 66% of our school’s. Like sexism isn’t real. Like it’s more ridiculous to stand up for your rights and identity than to dress like idiots make a shitty music video and joke about exploiting women


  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous it’s funny BECAUSE bwog commenters take it seriously

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous No.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous you guys shut up! boss status is really good, you guys just don’t understand their sophisticated critique on society expressed through edgy ironic hip hop!

    oh wait, they just suck ass.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion of boss status. That’s the beauty of boss status.

  • This says:

    @This is actually a very well written article. Snaps to that.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous a) C’mon guys, full disclosure. One of the members, Bijan, is ON Bwog. It’s kind of basic journalistic ethics to let your readers know that.

    b) If saying sexist things doesn’t make you sexist…what does? Food for thought.

    1. YEAH! says:

      @YEAH! Cus’ Dave Chappelle is actually a Black White-Supremacist

  • Shocked says:

    @Shocked I am shocked

    They don’t even suck enough for it to be ironic had they tried. It’s in the uncanny valley of awkwardness and should be killed with fire immediately.

  • this is a joke, right? says:

    @this is a joke, right? Fuck this shit.

  • eminem says:

    @eminem learn to take a joke, ya’ll. boss status deserves more than harsh criticism from anonymous bloggers. boss status is a group of friends who rap for fun, and they have a lot of fun doing it. there’s nothing more to it.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous When they make a video, publicize it, create a Facebook group for their album dropping, and perform at a free, PUBLIC venue, theyre asking for people to engage with their work, and they have to take responsibility for that. If they were saying this shit and being as basic as they are alone in their rooms and kept it to themselves itd still be shitty but they could make an easier case for not being able to be criticized. You can’t broadcast yourself and shirk all responsibility for what you send out. Hiding behind this shitty veil of meta humor, “being friends who just wanna have fun if angry feminist bloggers would just let them”, and PCness is immature and weak

      1. eminem says:

        @eminem you aren’t “engaging” with their work. you’re refusing to give them the fair chance of listening to their music with the perspective that they encourage: lightheartedness. you’re taking their lyrics, which are not meant to be taken seriously, with too much weight. i’m a woman, and i am not offended by boss status. you’re blowing boss status and what they do all out of proportion.

        1. hmm says:

          @hmm [ intrans. ] ( engage in) participate or become involved in : organizations engage in a variety of activities | ( be engaged in) some are actively engaged in crime.
          • ( engage with) establish a meaningful contact or connection with : the teams needed to engage with local communities.
          • [ trans. ] enter into conflict or combat with (an adversary).
          [ trans. ] occupy, attract, or involve (someone’s interest or attention) : he plowed on, trying to outline his plans and engage Sutton’s attention.
          • ( engage someone in) cause someone to become involved in (a conversation or discussion).

          1. even if i agree with you says:

            @even if i agree with you i think that quoting the dictionary to make a point is so wack.

          2. eminem says:

            @eminem, impressive. you’re ignoring my point. but thats fine, i don’t expect to change your opinion. what it boils down to is this: have a sense of humor.

          3. Anonymous says:

            @Anonymous Or don’t, and enjoy Bo$$ $tatu$ (did you guys have to make EVERY “S” a dollar sign? C’mon!)

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous wait so every group of friends who raps for fun/makes videos for fun/has a tumblr for fun/goes biking for fun/does anything for fun should get a bwog article on them? wow the content on this website just got a whole lot better.

  • SWAG SWAG says:

    @SWAG SWAG You know you’re doing something right or wrong if you have HATERS. Either way you’re doing something. Keep having fun and doing whay you love boys!

    1. haha says:

      @haha you’re a fucking idiot

  • Lubeen says:

    @Lubeen Sam Stevens is a dope producer doe. We made this joint together –>

    1. douchebag or not, says:

      @douchebag or not, this is one sick ass track. he should just make beats and not rap. like, for the fuckin’ rest of ever.

      1. Lubeen says:

        @Lubeen Glad you like it! He’s def. talented. Feel free to check out some of the other tracks on the soundcloud or come out to the CUSH battle this Thursday in the IRC.

  • pizza says:

    @pizza okay i’ll bite.

    i wasn’t at this interview but from what i’ve heard from people who were, i think a lot of the comments (the ones about vampire weekend and ‘saying it to my face at lerner’) were said as jokes and that isn’t presented in the tone of the article at all.

    but thats pretty incidental, because what concerns me is the way members of boss status responded to the criticism regarding the sexism in the lyrics. i’m just gonna go on the record and say i basically disagree with the way my ”””’crew-mates”’ responded entirely and think their dismissal of a valid criticism is intellectually lazy and suggests a lack of awareness. same thing with the “ambiguity” regarding whether or not we’re supposed to be serious or not. fuck that. i feel like i’ve had words put in my mouth and really wish i wasn’t mentioned in this article.

    humor, when directed carefully, can be incisively subversive. boss status is not that. there is no well-thought out intellectualization of the sexist humor. there is no contextualization of bo$$ $tatu$ that would frame the sexist humor in a way that seems acceptable. I wish i could say that bo$$ $tatu$ was a parody of the idea of bo$$ $tatu$. then i could read the comments we made and laugh at how spot on our impression of oblivious privileged kids is.

    the reality is that bo$$ $tatu$ is a thoughtless thing that i (and i can only really speak for myself) participated in for fun and to make fun of myself. that its took off the way it has and has gotten the attention has is something i have really mixed feelings about. when you do something among friends you have different expectations. once it started ***taking off*** and people started enabling what was essentially just a stupid drunken circle-jerk, it made me really uncomfortable. as a joke among friends i kind of tried to just ignore some of the sexist shit different members would rap about (yo im gonna try to absolve myself of this and like…. get all you guys on my side by mentioning that i stuck to rappin about jacking off and hating myself VALIDATE MY THOUGHTFULLNESS, PLEASE.). but now people beyond my circle of friends are listening to and responding to the music, and it makes sense that people have problems with it or are offended by it. people who don’t know us have no reason to interpret it charitably, or do any of the mental gymnastics required to try to make our lyrics not seem offensive. the fact that we have no direction and dodge questions regarding whether we’re ‘ironic or not’ because we can’t actually agree doesn’t help.

    that being said the dudes in boss status are all my friends, and i think they’re good-natured dudes and i like them a lot. the gap between intentions and interpretations is a tricky one. i don’t think any of us intend to be offensive, but that doesn’t diminish the validity of the opinions of those who are offended by us.

    so basically i am thoroughly embarrassed by the way we come off in this article and i am sincerely sorry to anyone who’s offended. you’re entitled to that. you can say it to me at lerner and i won’t react violently or anything i’ll apologize and listen to what you have to say and probably knit you a sweater or something.

    also it is absolutely fucked up that bwog wrote an article about us and not about the people who are working hard to make their music and aren’t just circle jerkin onto a slice of wonder bread and inviting random strangers to do the same.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous TLDR

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous fre$hman

    3. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous FREE EARL BRO

    4. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous tl;dr

    5. yo says:

      @yo pizza, i think you need to have a talk with the other members of boss status. you’re really throwing your crew-mates under the bus here. bwog is not the place to make this statement.

      1. whatever says:

        @whatever ^^^ what is to dislike about this? lol

    6. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous i see all of ya’ll around carman sometimes. honestly ya’ll seem like hipster douchebags, but pizza… you’re okay.

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous ^douchebag

      2. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous no its true. they walk around like they the shit, but they dont actually do anything important or constructive that contributes to the community. UNLESS you thing a group of privileged white guys rapping is contributing to the community.

    7. this says:

      @this was actually a thoughtful and well-reasoned response attempted to take responsibility for ideologies put forth by “your crew,” whether ironically or not. good for you, freshman-bro. I can respect that.

      1. CC14 says:

        @CC14 Agreed. Also by far the least obnoxiously hipster looking of the lot. (yercyoot)

    8. can someone says:

      @can someone summarize this? thanks!

    9. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous pizza-
      thank you for this.
      -columbia college female who was a bit shocked and upset that these guys came up with this shit and that those girls in the video degraded themselves for it.

      1. uh, you're welcome says:

        @uh, you're welcome but i think the girls who participated in the video are well within their rights to decide for themselves whether or not they degraded themselves.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous LOLLLZ This is exactly what they want you to think, don’t you get it?

  • The Weeknd says:

    @The Weeknd “They Lovin’ the Crew… Oh wait…”

  • Anonymous says:


  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous They do not deserve to be compared to Vampire Weekend.

  • OG Lo says:

    @OG Lo Bo$$ $tatus is that new Trilla wave in the streets. They’re in the same place Big L was. Giving love, kissing babies, and what not. How could you not $ee that? Yes it’s a joke. You don’t have to laugh but it’s still funny

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous the thing is though… it’s not completely a joke

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous Right? If it were funny or if they were funny or if they took themselves a little less seriously I would love it!

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous i think you’re right. its unfair of me to have not tried to phrase these things succinctly to members of the group earlier, and to now go on a public forum and say it. but i’m entitled to express myself as an individual, and as a member of the group, i feel responsible for how other people are reacting to it. i basically just feel pretty shitty about it.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous shhh shhh it’s okay, calm down, nobody cares that much <3

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous I feel like they’re trolling Columbia University…

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous the sad part is that they’re not.

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous the sad part is you think they’re not…

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous oops meant to post this some where else I BLEW IT sorry guys.

  • SwearWord says:

    @SwearWord Wait about a year and this becomes blackmail material.

  • > inb4 says:

    @> inb4 Bwog goes into typical “How could you anonymous commenters be so HEARTLESS?!” mode. Stories like this have led me to believe that Bwog is the biggest troll on campus.

    Oh, and re: these folks–y’all look 13/there is a post-college world/google exists in this post-college world. Best of luck!

    – CC ’12

  • Humorist says:

    @Humorist It’s obviously a joke, but then again so is Columbia’s Student body’s sense of humor.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous do you go here or are you just some princeton douchebag who has nothing better to do than read bwog

      1. Funny says:

        @Funny I stand corrected, your ignorance is definitely funnier. I do go here, but I assume by your tasteless remarks about Princeton, without a basis for comparison, that you didn’t get accepted to that school. Still, it’s clear you’re really “sticking it” to those Princeton guys so go ahead, revel in your revenge champ.

  • jungle fever says:

    @jungle fever fuck nooks

  • anon says:

    @anon these lyrics make me so fucking sad. and i’m not even a girl.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous the girl with dat dijonnaise on her face is pretty bangin

    1. OG Lo says:

      @OG Lo And long term, that’s what matters

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous ethan randy raviv hanging in the back
      best dudes ever

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous This is hella terrible

  • please says:

    @please put on a shirt before you blind someone

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous nobody actually likes this. but i also don’t think we’re supposed to. they aren’t taking it seriously, really, and we shouldn’t either.

  • Anonymous says:


  • puppy cops says:

    @puppy cops don’t worry, we have this under control

  • Finally Famous says:

    @Finally Famous Double-Edged Sword of Fame: Googling these names during job apps might result in some mixed feelings

  • Racism says:

    @Racism Everyone hates Boss Status cause they’re white

    1. Reason says:

      @Reason Wrong, everyone hates Bo$$ $tatu$ because they suck.

  • Anonymous 1001 says:

    @Anonymous 1001 Its interesting to note, cyber hate is in effect
    If you want to take a stab, have a talk don’t disrespect
    It’s all about the love, with a little bit of silly
    If your hurt by the silly, I’m sorry…for really

    I’m not trying to defend, I’m not trying to pretend
    I’m not trying to contend, but this hate just doesn’t end
    Attempt to wreck beats, trying to bring the heat
    Switch it up a little, and maybe bring you to your feet

    It seems like thats what they’ve done, so sir you ok?
    Your shouting hate on a screen, get on with your day!
    You’ve stated your claim, your done, so back away
    Keep killin it boys, cuz I’m a follower here to stay

    -I know its only a 12, but whatever. keep at it b$

  • god damnit says:


  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous HOLY SHIT. STOP, PLEASE. nothing makes me want to kill myself via infinite CC sessions like white, hipster, gay, “ironic” (DR has already done that), douchetits like yourselves. Btw, cool biggie poster BRO, not like every freshman got of those at walmart this summer in an attempt to *reinvent their nerd image from high school* because it was essentially the only rapper they knew. Also, bringin the the intergroup drama to bwog, meoooooowww. keepin it classy. You might want to use your parents trust funds to pay for a pr agent when yall “blow up” jajajaja

    Oh, and can’t wait to hear your next, next album called “Douchtits”, I’m bankin on that.

    YOmuthurfuckingLO–except don’t, and disband immediately for the college community’s–and our own– wellbeing.

    muah! xoxo

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous this post has almost as many comments as the varsity show review. what does that say about our community and what it values. sighhhhhh

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous ****coffeehaus

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous these guys are as $ICK A$ CAN$ER

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous If B$ doe$n’t take them$elve$ $eriou$ly, neither $hould anyone el$e.

  • CUSH Supporter says:

    @CUSH Supporter This is cool. But, be sure to come out to the Battle this weeks:

  • HA says:

    @HA they resemble virgin mickey avalons sans tattoos and cocaine

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