Squirrels Develop A New Taste For Power

A recent pizza theft by a renegade, power hungry squirrel was first thought to be an isolated and somewhat magical occurrence. However, a new trend is developing as our favorite photo subjects get more ambitious in their dietary choices. A hapless student eating lunch outside turned away for a moment only to discover her pizza slice being squirreled away—perhaps by that same conniving rodent, newly dubbed Mozzerodent by our resident mammal aficionados.

The victim reported that she, “sensed a squirrel right behind,” her, and watched sadly as the theft was carried out. We await the next inevitable attack with a mix of horror and fascination.

The latest incident of repossession

Photo credit Dana Neugut, CC’14

Tags: mozzerodent, new heights of ambition, overseen, squirrels, the advent of mozzerodent, this is insanity
28 February 2012 @ 3:00 PM · 18 comments

• Anonymous · 24  0 · 28 February 2012 at 3:05 pm · Track

  FUCK YEAH

• Donna Sinty · 9  45 · 28 February 2012 at 3:26 pm · Track

  you coulda just posted the pic with a short comment. i don’t think anyone was asking for a thesis on a squirrel eating a pizza.

  • Anonymous · 57  2 · 28 February 2012 at 3:39 pm · Track

    I think this is exactly what everyone wanted Donna Sinty.

  • Getting old, but · 12  0 · 28 February 2012 at 10:30 pm · Track

    SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• what is this i dont even · 12  58 · 28 February 2012 at 3:38 pm · Track

  no matter how lame spec is, at least they don’t post shit like this. woof.

• Anonymous · 26  0 · 28 February 2012 at 3:53 pm · Track

  Dana’s the coolest!

• Anonymous · 0  0 · 28 February 2012 at 4:14 pm · Track

  Korodent

• still bitter · 65  6 · 28 February 2012 at 4:36 pm · Track

  I sat at a table with a group of reasonable Columbia students. They chanced upon this post, and a disappointed freshman qualified some of her criticism by saying, “I guess I just went in with high expectations of Columbia University’s student blog.” General laughter and a quick, “Well there’s your problem!” followed.

• Anonymous · 17  0 · 28 February 2012 at 5:56 pm · Track

  Squirrels be trippin

• Anonymous · 30  0 · 28 February 2012 at 5:59 pm · Track

  Mozzarodent’s bigger brother: Korodent

• Anonymous · 41  1 · 28 February 2012 at 6:10 pm · Track

  I can’t believe the number of people questioning Bwog’s motives in drawing our attention to this new public safety hazard / new power player on campus. It’s almost as if Bwog were expected to churn out lofty debates of city politics or Nietzschean critiques of post-war Europolitics that students can e-mail to their state-school friends in order to show off Columbia’s intellectual culture. Forgive me, but I’ll take pizza security intelligence over pride.

• What the squirrel was thinking... · 7  1 · 28 February 2012 at 7:02 pm · Track

  “I thought Columbia students were supposed to be smart…did this girl never learn about survival of the fittest…I’m going to take this pizza and I’m going to enjoy it, and afterwards I’m gonna shit it out all over the Core – liberal arts, more like liberal farts…squirrels will survive forever!”

• Anonymous · 1  0 · 28 February 2012 at 8:02 pm · Track

  haha!!

• Anonymous · 24  0 · 28 February 2012 at 8:23 pm · Track

  meanwhile, American squirrel obesity rates continue to rise significantly over the years

• Liberal farts? · 1  0 · 28 February 2012 at 9:48 pm · Track

  Is the squirrel channeling Alan Shemper or something?

  • Bah · 0  0 · 28 February 2012 at 9:52 pm · Track

    Supposed to be in response to “What the squirrel was thinking,” etc.

• The 117th Annual Varsity Show · 9  0 · 29 February 2012 at 1:16 am · Track

  Checkmate.

• Anonymous · 0  0 · 8 March 2012 at 3:33 am · Track

  http://youtu.be/HkUysPT0zXI