Tonight’s personals are those of two old-timers: for their second round, we re-introduce Eric Donahue and Byron Jones.

Name, Year, School, Major: Eric “Sugartits” Donahue, CC’15, ‘Murican Studiez

Preference: Man 2 Woman, Morning 2 Midnight

Hometown: Grayslake, Illinois — a town so boring it has “gray” in its goddamn name

Your dream date in seven words or fewer: Your beautiful smile, ’61 Cabernet Sauvignon, Skrillex

What redeems you as a human being? Extensive collection of 14th-century erotic literature (looted from Pope Erectus III)

Obsessive book series of choice: “An Enquiry Concerning…” by David Hume. The first two are just exposition, but he really hits his stride around An Enquiry Concerning Badass Motorcycles With Rad Flame Decals

Library room of choice: Butler 403 I guess… but really, any room with a view of you ;)

What you think the sexiest animal is: You ;) …(or, if my nomenclature doth offend, the Sultry Chinchilla)

Guilty pleasure song: 4’33″, with the ambient noise of unwrapping Twinkies

Do you watch “Girls” ironically or unironically? I watch Girls for the Lena Dunham nude scenes. No IronE here.

Historical hottie: Bilbo Baggins (this is valid according to my high school quarterback, who once referred to “the middle ages” as “when all that Lord of the Rings shit happened”)

Name, Year, School, Major: Byron Jones, Junior, CC, Enviro Bio and Business MGMT concentration

Preference: Girls

Hometown: Westborough, MA

Your dream date in seven words or fewer: Good food, good conversation, banter, and flirting

What redeems you as a human being? I tend to laugh a fair amount. Not at jokes necessarily, but I can find humor in day to day things, situations, or just someone’s mannerisms.

Obsessive book series of choice: I did like the first two Eragon books (when I was 14). I guess I hope to read the last two some day.

Library room of choice: I’m a fan of the stacks. Quiet and no wifi forces me to work.

What you think the sexiest animal is: Sexiest animal…this gorilla.

Guilty pleasure song: probably “E.T.” by Katy Perry

Do you watch “Girls” ironically or unironically? I don’t watch Girls. Sorry I’m not sorry.

Historical hottie: Tomoe Gozen