Personals: Eric Donahue, CC’15, and Byron Jones, CC’14

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Tonight’s personals are those of two old-timers: for their second round, we re-introduce Eric Donahue and Byron Jones.

Name, Year, School, Major: Eric “Sugartits” Donahue, CC’15, ‘Murican Studiez

Preference: Man 2 Woman, Morning 2 Midnight

Hometown: Grayslake, Illinois — a town so boring it has “gray” in its goddamn name

Your dream date in seven words or fewer: Your beautiful smile, ’61 Cabernet Sauvignon, Skrillex

What redeems you as a human being? Extensive collection of 14th-century erotic literature (looted from Pope Erectus III)

Obsessive book series of choice: “An Enquiry Concerning…” by David Hume. The first two are just exposition, but he really hits his stride around An Enquiry Concerning Badass Motorcycles With Rad Flame Decals

Library room of choice: Butler 403 I guess… but really, any room with a view of you ;)

What you think the sexiest animal is: You ;) …(or, if my nomenclature doth offend, the Sultry Chinchilla)

Guilty pleasure song: 4’33”, with the ambient noise of unwrapping Twinkies

Do you watch “Girls” ironically or unironically? I watch Girls for the Lena Dunham nude scenes. No IronE here.

Historical hottie: Bilbo Baggins (this is valid according to my high school quarterback, who once referred to “the middle ages” as “when all that Lord of the Rings shit happened”)

Name, Year, School, Major: Byron Jones, Junior, CC, Enviro Bio and Business MGMT concentration

Preference: Girls

Hometown: Westborough, MA

Your dream date in seven words or fewer: Good food, good conversation, banter, and flirting

What redeems you as a human being? I tend to laugh a fair amount. Not at jokes necessarily, but I can find humor in day to day things, situations, or just someone’s mannerisms.

Obsessive book series of choice: I did like the first two Eragon books (when I was 14). I guess I hope to read the last two some day.

Library room of choice: I’m a fan of the stacks. Quiet and no wifi forces me to work.

What you think the sexiest animal is: Sexiest animal…this gorilla.

Guilty pleasure song: probably “E.T.” by Katy Perry

Do you watch “Girls” ironically or unironically? I don’t watch Girls. Sorry I’m not sorry.

Historical hottie: Tomoe Gozen

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  1. mfw  

    Byron is single. wut

  2. Anonymous

    byron, you seem cool!

  3. DTB  

    Eric, find me on BangWithFriends.



  5. Anonymous  

    jeeez... that first guy is ryan mandelbaum... does every class hav a ryan mendalbaum?

  6. Anonymous

    I'd submit my info for Bwog Personals, but I'm already having great success meeting people on FetLife. Seriously.

  7. secondhand pain

    from seeing someone try too hard w/r/t the opposite sex

  8. Gray Henry  

    "a town so boring it has 'gray' in its goddamn name"


  9. Spiderman  

    Do not buy into this Valentine's Day nonsense.

    I repeat, do not buy into this Valentine's Day nonsense.

    Even if you do eventually get a girlfriend, it is likely they will commit paternity fraud. At least 30% commit fraud according to a blood type compatibility test. The true percentage is likely much higher because some people cheat with strangers who have similar blood types as their spouses.

    It is not worth it. Legally, you will be obligated to pay for the child even if it is not your own. Feminists think that paternity fraud is fair: read this article for proof.

  10. gay  

    But Byron is so pretty =(

  11. Bwog

    is deleting comments again.

    Original comment:

    Eric, please try harder. /s

  12. Grammys  

    And the award for most awkward student body goes to...Columbia University! With 7,000 sexually frustrated and anal~neurotic students desperate for approval and recognition in this cold ass motherf'ckin city, congratulations, you are officially the creme de la merd!

    (said with all due love and respect) :~*

  13. JJ11 4 lyfe  

    eric my dude u shud join our crew real talk that personal was prolly the coolest thing i've red in the past 17 hours

  14. Guest  

    Wait but has anyone seen Byron's body? That is a SERIOUS piece of man meat...

  15. under 27  

    But would Byron go for a grad student?

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