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Personals: Eric Donahue, CC’15, and Byron Jones, CC’14

Tonight’s personals are those of two old-timers: for their second round, we re-introduce Eric Donahue and Byron Jones.

Name, Year, School, Major: Eric “Sugartits” Donahue, CC’15, ‘Murican Studiez

Preference: Man 2 Woman, Morning 2 Midnight

Hometown: Grayslake, Illinois — a town so boring it has “gray” in its goddamn name

Your dream date in seven words or fewer: Your beautiful smile, ’61 Cabernet Sauvignon, Skrillex

What redeems you as a human being? Extensive collection of 14th-century erotic literature (looted from Pope Erectus III)

Obsessive book series of choice: “An Enquiry Concerning…” by David Hume. The first two are just exposition, but he really hits his stride around An Enquiry Concerning Badass Motorcycles With Rad Flame Decals

Library room of choice: Butler 403 I guess… but really, any room with a view of you ;)

What you think the sexiest animal is: You ;) …(or, if my nomenclature doth offend, the Sultry Chinchilla)

Guilty pleasure song: 4’33”, with the ambient noise of unwrapping Twinkies

Do you watch “Girls” ironically or unironically? I watch Girls for the Lena Dunham nude scenes. No IronE here.

Historical hottie: Bilbo Baggins (this is valid according to my high school quarterback, who once referred to “the middle ages” as “when all that Lord of the Rings shit happened”)

Name, Year, School, Major: Byron Jones, Junior, CC, Enviro Bio and Business MGMT concentration

Preference: Girls

Hometown: Westborough, MA

Your dream date in seven words or fewer: Good food, good conversation, banter, and flirting

What redeems you as a human being? I tend to laugh a fair amount. Not at jokes necessarily, but I can find humor in day to day things, situations, or just someone’s mannerisms.

Obsessive book series of choice: I did like the first two Eragon books (when I was 14). I guess I hope to read the last two some day.

Library room of choice: I’m a fan of the stacks. Quiet and no wifi forces me to work.

What you think the sexiest animal is: Sexiest animal…this gorilla.

Guilty pleasure song: probably “E.T.” by Katy Perry

Do you watch “Girls” ironically or unironically? I don’t watch Girls. Sorry I’m not sorry.

Historical hottie: Tomoe Gozen

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28 Comments

  • loveee says:

    @loveee love you eric!

  • mfw says:

    @mfw Byron is single. wut

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous byron, you seem cool!

  • DTB says:

    @DTB Eric, find me on BangWithFriends.

  • IF YOU DONT WATCH GIRLS says:

    @IF YOU DONT WATCH GIRLS THEN GET OUTTA HERE

    1. Rachel Tice says:

      @Rachel Tice GOSSIP GIRL??!?!?!?!?!?!

      1. Brittnay Matthews says:

        @Brittnay Matthews SHUT THE FUCK UP RACHEL TICE!!!!!!

      2. Bridget Tice says:

        @Bridget Tice No, Girls. On HBO.

        Kind of like Gossip Girl but more tits.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous jeeez… that first guy is ryan mandelbaum… does every class hav a ryan mendalbaum?

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Who would we say is 2014’s Mandelbaum?

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous darron kinney

        1. ryan says:

          @ryan omg

          1. darron says:

            @darron *screams*

      2. Actually says:

        @Actually Joe Girton

    2. Truth says:

      @Truth Pleeeaaassseee! That duckface pales in comparison to RyGuy’s duckface.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous I’d submit my info for Bwog Personals, but I’m already having great success meeting people on FetLife. Seriously.

  • secondhand pain says:

    @secondhand pain from seeing someone try too hard w/r/t the opposite sex

  • Gray Henry says:

    @Gray Henry “a town so boring it has ‘gray’ in its goddamn name”

    :'(

    1. you says:

      @you are the exception that proves the rule

    2. Rebecca Gray says:

      @Rebecca Gray :( :(

  • Spiderman says:

    @Spiderman Do not buy into this Valentine’s Day nonsense.

    I repeat, do not buy into this Valentine’s Day nonsense.

    Even if you do eventually get a girlfriend, it is likely they will commit paternity fraud. At least 30% commit fraud according to a blood type compatibility test. The true percentage is likely much higher because some people cheat with strangers who have similar blood types as their spouses.

    It is not worth it. Legally, you will be obligated to pay for the child even if it is not your own. Feminists think that paternity fraud is fair: read this article for proof. http://www.spectator.co.uk/features/6391918/whos-the-daddy/

  • gay says:

    @gay But Byron is so pretty =(

  • Bwog says:

    @Bwog is deleting comments again.

    Original comment:

    Eric, please try harder. /s

  • Grammys says:

    @Grammys And the award for most awkward student body goes to…Columbia University! With 7,000 sexually frustrated and anal~neurotic students desperate for approval and recognition in this cold ass motherf’ckin city, congratulations, you are officially the creme de la merd!

    (said with all due love and respect) :~*

  • JJ11 4 lyfe says:

    @JJ11 4 lyfe eric my dude u shud join our crew real talk that personal was prolly the coolest thing i’ve red in the past 17 hours

  • Guest says:

    @Guest Wait but has anyone seen Byron’s body? That is a SERIOUS piece of man meat…

  • under 27 says:

    @under 27 But would Byron go for a grad student?

    1. A little bird says:

      @A little bird I’m pretty sure Byron was dating a 26 year old PhD student for a few months in the fall. Go for it 27

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