Apr

12

Pregame with Bwog: Sleep Optional

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Pregaming gone a little too hard
Pregaming gone a little too hard

Pregaming gone a little too hard

This year’s earlier Bacchanal timing has necessitated different preparation plans than usual among spring celebrants. New plans abound, from kegs & eggs to Absolute & Absolut. To inspire you for tonight/tomorrow, we share one pumped-up student’s particular plan of action, as told to Bwog below. Bwog is taking a page from Jackass and warning you: do not try this at home (especially if you’re underage).  And with that, we’re signing off for the day — till tomorrow, bright and early!

Friday afternoon:

4 p.m: Go to International. Prepare in advance: nighttime liquors, daytime liquors.

Friday evening/Saturday morning:

6 or 7 p.m: Go to sleep at around 6, or as early as you can manage. That means if you’re reading this right now, you should already be sleeping.

1 a.m: Wake up. Get dressed. Go to 1020.

3/4 a.m: Stay until last call. Get kicked out. Snag a few drinks for the road.

6:20 a.m: Watch sunrise while drinking on the roof of an unspecified building. Our drinking correspondent recommended a shot an hour in between 1020 and this phase, but Bwog may already have passed out.

Saturday:

9 a.m: Begin drunch (dreakfast?). When Bwog questioned about another catnap before drunch, our correspondent scoffed at us.

11 a.m: Bacchanal, or your regularly scheduled raging and tipping pictures/overheards/overseens to Bwog.

3 p.m: A final celebratory drink, then an intense group power nap.

9 p.m: Wake up. Get dressed. Go to 1020 out.

Got a better plan to sustain yourself and your compatriots?

Drunken freedom via Shutterstock

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15 Comments

  1. But bwog  

    You forgot Holi at 9:30 am tomorrow!

  2. Mr. Incredible

    Where did bwog get that picture of me!?!?

  3. Anonymous  

    Google "Cisco Adler's Balls."

    You're welcome.

  4. But why...  

    1020? It sucks.

  5. @B@B  

    HAVE YOU ALL SEEN THE SHITST00rM happening on my FB?

  6. Junior MEchE  

    Friday: Freak out about the power screw and heat transfer assignment

    Friday late night: Pass out

    Saturday early morning: Clean room and do laundry

    Saturday: Butler all day

    Sunday: CAD lab, all day

    Monday: Butler, all day

    Tuesday, 8:40am: Take heat transfer exam

    Tuesday 4pm: Limp to my clean room and weep.

  7. B@B  

    player 1 2 or 3 hmmm find a MAWDGOD

  8. Anonymous

    Sunday - Call mommy and daddy to send more money (because they are pricks too)
    Monday - Forget about Bacchanal, because Macklemore is garbage and two days later his career is a has-been. (Positive rap is fucking dumb)

  9. Anonymous  

    How's CUNY treating you, you jealous, trolling fuck?

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