This year’s earlier Bacchanal timing has necessitated different preparation plans than usual among spring celebrants. New plans abound, from kegs & eggs to Absolute & Absolut. To inspire you for tonight/tomorrow, we share one pumped-up student’s particular plan of action, as told to Bwog below. Bwog is taking a page from Jackass and warning you: do not try this at home (especially if you’re underage). And with that, we’re signing off for the day — till tomorrow, bright and early!
4 p.m: Go to International. Prepare in advance: nighttime liquors, daytime liquors.
Friday evening/Saturday morning:
6 or 7 p.m: Go to sleep at around 6, or as early as you can manage. That means if you’re reading this right now, you should already be sleeping.
1 a.m: Wake up. Get dressed. Go to 1020.
3/4 a.m: Stay until last call. Get kicked out. Snag a few drinks for the road.
6:20 a.m: Watch sunrise while drinking on the roof of an unspecified building. Our drinking correspondent recommended a shot an hour in between 1020 and this phase, but Bwog may already have passed out.
9 a.m: Begin drunch (dreakfast?). When Bwog questioned about another catnap before drunch, our correspondent scoffed at us.
11 a.m: Bacchanal, or your regularly scheduled raging and tipping pictures/overheards/overseens to Bwog.
3 p.m: A final celebratory drink, then an intense group power nap.
9 p.m: Wake up. Get dressed. Go
to 1020 out.
Got a better plan to sustain yourself and your compatriots?
Drunken freedom via Shutterstock