Personals: Justin, Brittany, and Pupin

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Valentine’s Day approacheth! Today’s Columbians looking for love are Justin Birmingham, Brittany Portman, and Pupin. If you want to take any one of these awesome humans/ buildings on a date, email us and we’ll set it up (and give you ten whole dollars to take ‘em out). But sorry guys, we’re just toooooo popular — we’ve received enough submissions, so we won’t be accepting any new personals after this point.


Justin Birmingham

Name, Year, School, Major: Justin Birmingham, SEAS ’15, Mechanical Engineering, Music Minor

Preference: M 4 F

Hometown: Clinton, NJ, AKA Farmers and Subdevelopments

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: Waiting in line for some bougie nightclub

What redeems you as a human being? I can sing, I’m süper öutdoörsy, and I fix things for the greater good

 Library room of choice: 69+69+69+the 2 of us = 209 ;)

Beverage of choice: Salsa? No, Sriracha

Guilty Pleasure Song: John Mayer may be an asshole but I think he’s a great musician

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? Obviously Greenborough, that place rules

Historical Hottie: Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day

we like your dress and want to know where you got it

Brittany Portman


Name, Year, School, Major: Brittany Portman, BC ’14, Film Studies

Preference: Girl for a Guy

Hometown: NYC!!!

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: It’s explained in a movie that I made which is in the next question. It’s basically about when on a first date or when you first meet a guy that they automatically want to sleep with you.

What redeems you as a human being? I make movies!!

 Library room of choice: BUTLER 209

Beverage of choice: Diet Coke!! Always :)

Guilty Pleasure Song: Bye Bye Bye by NSYNC

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? Many things!! Usually with friends or going to karaoke OR seeing a Broadway show.

Historical Hottie: ALADDIN!! I know most people wouldn’t think Aladdin is historical BUT the story is an old folk tale so in that sense it counts. :)


sexy sexy


Name, Year, School, Major: Pupin (“Pyoo-pin,” not “Poo-pin” or “Pu-peen”), CC, 1927, Physics

Preference (guy for guy, etc): Nobel Prize winners exclusively.

Hometown: The depths of hell.

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: “Let’s meet at Joe’s.”

What redeems you as a human being building? The Manhattan Project. A valiant effort to host stargazing nights from the roof despite the NYC light pollution.

Library room of choice: They closed my library :(

Beverage of choice: I’ve been experimenting with home brewing. Trying to create the perfect beer.

Guilty pleasure song: Under Pressure. But I liked it before Vanilla Ice ruined the beat.

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? That’s a government secret.

Historical Hottie: Oppenheimer.


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  1. I  


  2. a girl  

    what does it say about me that I'd get with either Justin or Brittany in a second?

  3. Anonymous  

    lol brittany thats way more than 7 words

  4. Hehehe  

    If JBs were gay I'd be ALL up on that

  5. anon  

    Wow that girl has some scary teeth holy shittt

  6. omg  


  7. actaully though  

    Justin how do I text you?

  8. love that guy  

    Justin gives awesome massages

  9. Dat Justin guy tho  

    10/10, would fantasize about again

  10. cc'15  

    justin is awesome - thanks for being a great friend!

  11. Twerkins

    Jabes lookin' fly as fuhh

  12. movieman

    Didnt that first guy recently star in Her?

  13. BC 2015  

    Justin is seriously cute. How does one contact?

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