#personals
Personals: Liane, Ben, and Geetika
classy broad

Liane Darson

Happy velociraptor day vacuum-cleaning day vermouth-appreciation day V-Day Columbia! We’re sorry to inform all you love-sick Columbians that tonight is the last night of personals. While it might be a little late for a Valentine’s Day date, you’ve still got a shot at love. Our last batch of Columbians searching for that special someone are Liane Darson, Ben Rimland, and Geetika Rudra. If you want to take any one of these awesome humans on a date, email us and we’ll set it up (and give you ten whole dollars toward your date).

Name, Year, School, Major: Liane Darson, SEAS 2015, Biomedical Engineering

Preference: girl for guy

Hometown: Staten Island, NY

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: When the food is terrible….

What redeems you as a human being? I love love love to cook, I like to feed people cause hungry faces bother me.

Library room of choice: The room where the chicks were with the eggs, yeah, that one.

Beverage of Choice: Whiskey. With ice. Or no ice. As long as the whiskey is there.

Guilty Pleasure Song: Wrecking Ball.

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? Either in Butler or somewhere with good music.

Historical Hottie: Alexander Hamilton

need me some Ben and Geetika

Personals: Sarah, Richard and The Diana
we like your hat

Sarah Charles

Happy velociraptor day vacuum-cleaning day vermouth=appreciation day  V-Day Columbia! Today’s Columbians looking for love are Sarah, Richard, and the Diana Center. If you want to take any one of these awesome humans/ buildings on a date, email us and we’ll set it up (and give you ten whole dollars to take ‘em out). But sorry guys, we’re just toooooo popular — we’ve received enough submissions, so we won’t be accepting any new personals after this point.

Name, Year, School, Major: Sarah Charles a.k.a. Chuck, CC ‘15, Neuroscience/Computer Science

Preference: girl for guy or girl

Hometown: Goodyear, AZ

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: Seafood+Baseball+”doesn’t read”…then zombies attack.

What redeems you as a human being? To be honest, probably nothing, but for the sake of the Bwog personal I’ll say I make a mean chocolate chip cookie.

Library room of choice: Lehman 5eva, I get paid to be there and it’s also pretty much my second home.

Beverage of choice: Malk ^_^

Guilty Pleasure Song: Temperature by Sean Paul, or anything from ABBA’s greatest hits

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? In bed. I fell asleep trying to decide between doing homework and going out.

Historical Hottie: Richard Feynman. He had a sexy brain.

(more…)

Personals: Alexandra and Alexandra
cutest damn thing I ever did see

Alexandra and Alexandra, Bwog Royalty

Just in time for Valentine’s Day! Today we have a special treat for you: behold, Alexandra and Alexandra, Bwog’s stellar former editorial team! As you’ll soon find out, this dynamic duo has a lot more in common than just their name, and they wrote each others’ personals. Here’s the fun part: we’re not telling you which Alexandra wrote which personal. You want a clue? You don’t get one. They’re both awesome; figure it out. If you want to take either Alexandra on a date, email us and we’ll set it up (and give you ten whole dollars to take ‘em out). But sorry guys, we’re just toooooo popular—we’ve received enough submissions, so we won’t be accepting any new personals.

Name, Year, School, Major: Alexandra Marie, CC, Observing You Weirdos And Writing About It

Preference: Gal for gent

Hometown: Dad’s from Bay Ridge, BK

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: Dumbass boneheaded dolt at a strip club.

What redeems you as a human being? The other Alexandra would’ve had a nervous breakdown without her. She doesn’t give or take bullshit. Also, she brings snacks.

Library room of choice: 210. Next question.

Beverage of choice: Whiskey sour. But if you don’t have sours, in her words, “just hand me whatever damn whiskey you have, no damn ice.”

Guilty pleasure song: Anything by Robyn or, more recently, Drunk in Love. Neither of which are really guilty pleasure, but I digress…

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? Drinking wine over a home-cooked meal with her Columbia “family” before heading out to flirt with the bartender at 67 Orange.

Historical Hottie: Alexei Vronsky. Mmm, moral dilemmas.

bring on Alexandra numbah two

Personals: Justin, Brittany, and Pupin

Valentine’s Day approacheth! Today’s Columbians looking for love are Justin Birmingham, Brittany Portman, and Pupin. If you want to take any one of these awesome humans/ buildings on a date, email us and we’ll set it up (and give you ten whole dollars to take ‘em out). But sorry guys, we’re just toooooo popular — we’ve received enough submissions, so we won’t be accepting any new personals after this point.

hipster

Justin Birmingham

Name, Year, School, Major: Justin Birmingham, SEAS ’15, Mechanical Engineering, Music Minor

Preference: M 4 F

Hometown: Clinton, NJ, AKA Farmers and Subdevelopments

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: Waiting in line for some bougie nightclub

What redeems you as a human being? I can sing, I’m süper öutdoörsy, and I fix things for the greater good

 Library room of choice: 69+69+69+the 2 of us = 209 ;)

Beverage of choice: Salsa? No, Sriracha

Guilty Pleasure Song: John Mayer may be an asshole but I think he’s a great musician

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? Obviously Greenborough, that place rules

Historical Hottie: Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day

bring on Brittany and Pupin!

Personals: Kate, Izzi, Nathen, and Liam

Valentine’s Day approacheth! Today’s Columbians looking for love are Kate Eberstadt, Izzi Eberstadt (sistah sistah), Nathen Huang, and Liam Bland. If you want to take any one of these awesome humans on a date, email us and we’ll set it up (and give you ten whole dollars to take ‘em out). But sorry guys, we’re just toooooo popular — we’ve received enough submissions, so we won’t be accepting any new personals after this point.

such exotic locales

Kate Eberstadt

Name, Year, School, Major: Kate Eberstadt, CC 2014, English

Preference (guy for guy, etc): Surprise me

Hometown: the District of Columbia

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: Host seats you next to your ex

What redeems you as a human being? I’m not a Hufflepuff

Library room of choice: Computer Music Center. Followed by JJ’s

Beverage of choice: Come find out yourself… I work at 1020

Guilty pleasure song: We Can’t Stop

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? With my sister Izzi Eberstadt (BC ’16), phones dead, up to no good…

Historical Hottie: Fyodor Dostoevsky

so many eligible lovers!

Personals: Fainan, Aria, and Laura
hopefully not literally

Fainan Lakha, ladykiller

Valentine’s Day approacheth! Today’s Columbians looking for love are Fainan Lakha, Aria Sharma, and Laura Fisher. Fun fact about Fainan: when he’s not working as a daily editor for Bwog, he’s moonlighting as a sweater vest model! If you want to take any one of these awesome humans on a date, email us and we’ll set it up (and give you ten whole dollars to take ‘em out). If you don’t, we still think you deserve a shot at love. Fill out our short questionnaire and send a picture to personals@bwog.com and the face to the right could be yours.

Name, Year, School, Major: Fainan Lakha, CC ’17, Philosophy or Middle East, South Asia, and Africana Studies…and yeah, I write for bwog.

Preference: Guy for girl

Hometown: Seattle, WA

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: We meet. We talk. We stop talking.

What redeems you as a human being? I’m just really invested and enthusiastic about whatever’s in the moment… to a fault, perhaps.

Library room of choice: I love the Edward Said memorial library in Butler; it’s a cozy cove full of the best books and vibes and sometimes the annotations on those old tomes hold the lost wisdom of theorists of yore and sometimes they hold old newspaper clippings which is cool, too.

Beverage of choice: Wine (esp. spanish rioja) for the high times and scotch for  when I feel like donning a vest the quiet times.

Guilty Pleasure Song: Work Bitch. (my butler anthem)

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? The part I always remember is drunkenly reflecting on the evening on my walk back from wherever the hell I was. Cool night air is cool, too.

Historical Hottie? Meera is who I’d say. She was a 16th Century Indian mystical poet who just basically wrote about how much she loved Krishna all the time. There’s something sexy about that much love for the feeling of… love.

Can’t get enough lovin’.

Personals: Emma, Joe, and Schermerhorn Hall
bwog doesn't remember how the sunlight feels upon its skin

Emma Stein

Valentine’s Day approacheth! Today’s Columbians looking for love are Emma Stein, Joe Girton, and Schermerhorn Hall. If you want to take any one of these awesome humans/ buildings on a date, email us and we’ll set it up (and give you ten whole dollars to take ‘em out). If you don’t, we still think you deserve a shot at love. Fill out our short questionnaire and send a picture to personals@bwog.com and the face to the right could be yours.

Name, Year, School, Major: Emma Stein, CC ’14, English and Business Management

Preference: gal for guy

Hometown: Short Hills, NJ

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: “You’re OK if I live tweet this?”

What redeems you as a human being? Your mom will love me.

Library room of choice: Started from the bottom (209), now we here (Ref).

Beverage of choice: Coffee + the 3 w’s (whiskey, woodchuck, and water)

Guilty Pleasure Song: Either old school Britney (Lucky) or I’ll Make a Man Out of You from Mulan. Actually my entire running playlist could probably feature here.

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? On line: 1020, Kornet’s, Netflix — take your pick.

Historical Hottie: Christopher Marlowe. When you’re writing a thesis on a person, you better think they’re pretty hot.

Joe and Schermerhorn deserve love, too!

Personals: Derek, Maria, and Eric
Dat guy in the background tho

Derek Kim (on left)

Valentine’s Day approacheth! Today’s Columbians looking for love are Derek Kim, Eric Donahue, and Maria Cristina Nieves Gimenez de los Galanes Cavallo, who is famous for having the longest name in the history of names. If you want to take any one of these awesome humans on a date, email us and we’ll set it up (and give you ten whole dollars to take ‘em out). If you don’t, we still think you deserve a shot at love. Fill out our short questionnaire and send a picture to personals@bwog.com and the face to the right could be yours.

Name, Year, School, Major: Derek Kim, 2016, CC, Economics

Preference: Guy for guy

Hometown: Ann Arbor, MI

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: “I don’t have an iPhone.”

 What redeems you as a human being? I don’t eat other people’s snacks without asking, I am a very quiet pooper, and it only took me ~10 minutes to answer this question.

Library room of choice: I’m obsessed with the East Asian library. It’s unpopulated, wonderful lamp-side lighting, and it’s not Butler.

 Beverage of choice: Almond milk served in a stolen John Jay glass

 Guilty pleasure song: Pu$$y – Iggy Azalea

 Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? At Westside getting a salad

 Historical Hottie: The young Josef Stalin. Those luscious locks.

Bring on Eric and Maria!

Personals: Rachel and Jamie
holding a rose and trying to climb a small wall

Rachel Kaplan

Valentine’s Day approacheth! Today’s Columbians looking for love are Rachel Kaplan and Jamie Boothe. If you want to take either of these awesome humans on a date, email us and we’ll set it up (and give you ten whole dollars to take ‘em out). If you don’t, we still think you deserve a shot at love. Fill out our short questionnaire and send a picture to personals@bwog.com and the face to the right could be yours.

Name, Year, School, Major: Rachel, BC ’15, Political Science/Economics

Preference: Girl for guy

Hometown: Proudly suburban, aka Westchester

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: Guy won’t split the check.

What redeems you as a human being? I love a good theme party. I had a Slime Time Live birthday party in elementary school. Nothing is more fun than pouring green goop on your friends and covering their faces in whipped cream.

Library room of choice: 1020

Beverage of choice: Chai. I like spicy things.

Guilty pleasure song: Barbie Girl

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? See library room of choice

Historical Hottie: Mary Shelley

But what about Jamie?!

Personals: Orli Matlow, GS/JTS ’15

Orli Mattow

Romance awaits! Today’s bachelorette is Orli Matlow, who wins Bwog’s undying respect by saying that she is “a Bey” looking for “a Jay.” If you want to take this awesome lady on a date, email us and we’ll set it up (and give you ten whole dollars to woo her). If you don’t, we still think you deserve a shot at love. Fill out our short questionnaire and send a picture to personals@bwog.com and the face to the right could be yours.

Name, Year, School, Major: Orli Matlow, GS/JTS ’15, American Studies

Preference: Gilda for a Gene, Bey for a Jay

Hometown: Toronto, Ontario, Canada, home of the crack-smoking mayor! (I may or may not be seeking a green card marriage…)

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: He didn’t laugh at my jokes :(

What redeems you as a human being? I danced with Neil Patrick Harris at the 2011 Tony Awards!

Library room of choice: 209

Beverage of choice: “Hot tea. Because that’s what you are—a hottie” – Lucille Bluth

Guilty Pleasure Song: Defying Gravity (it’s only guilty because I consider myself a Sondheimite)

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? At a Band party, and then falling asleep around 4 am watching a Netflix documentary

Historical Hottie: Abraham Lincoln is my dream man. In addition to being brilliant and a great emancipator, he was 6’4″, sensitive, funny, and liked going to the theater for a bang.

Personals: Jared and Salonee

Get ready to fall in love, Columbia. We’re kicking off this year’s batch of Personals with a double-hitter: Jared Odessky and Salonee Bhaman. If you want to take one or both of these awesome humans on a date, email personals@bwog.com and we’ll set it up (furnished by ten whole dollars). If you don’t, we still think you deserve a shot at love. Fill out our short questionnaire and send a picture to personals@bwog.com and the face (or in this case, faces) to the right could be yours.

Jared Odessky and Salonee Bhaman

Jared Odessky and Salonee Bhaman

Name, Year, School, Major: Salonee, 2014, CC, History

Preference: Lady for a dude.

Hometown: Santa Monica, CA

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: Famiglia. “How is your thesis going?”

What redeems you as a human being? 100% believe magic is real.

Library room of choice: Reference Room.

Beverage of choice: Coffee. Whiskey/ Ginger. Fireball.

Guilty pleasure song: I’m too damn old to feel guilty about music. Join me. Give up shame for Lent. If I’m drunk, I will cry at “Space Oddity.” I am a little bit ashamed of that.

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? Unclear. But, can promise I will be at Trivia Night on Tuesday night.

Historical Hottie: Bhagat Singh

Don’t forget Jared Odessky!

Bwog Personals: Uh-Huh, Honey
swoon

“Let’s splash in the sunset waves together!”

Looking for someone to woo you on the back of a motorcycle? Someone to share a Milano sandwich with you, lady-and-the-tramp-style? Someone who will warm you up after you get sprayed with icy sludge while trying to cross the street (lookin’ at you 115th street intersection)? Well look no further than Bwog to find true love, because Personals are BACK.

Just answer our short questionnaire and send a photo of yourself (make sure to get your good side) to personals@bwog.com. We’ll showcase the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes on Bwog for Planet Columbia to admire. If anyone strikes your fancy, contact us and we’ll shell out $10 for your romantic evening. You should probably supplement that if you want a second date.

True love is within your grasp:

  • Name, Year, School, Major
  • Preference (guy for guy, etc)
  • Hometown
  • Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer
  • What redeems you as a human being?
  • Library room of choice
  • Beverage of choice
  • Guilty pleasure song
  • Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night?
  • Historical Hottie

a bwalk to bwemember via shutterstock

Personals: Daniel Sims, SEAS’14

For our very last personal (we think), we present Daniel Sims, with both his physical and virtual representation available. Email personals@bwog.com for this year’s last chance at love.


Name, Year, School, Major: Daniel Sims, 2014, SEAS, MechE

Preference: Guy for Girl

Hometown: Tristate area (a lot of commuting between NYC and NJ)

Your dream date in seven words or fewer: Learning something together, from painting to metalwork

What redeems you as a human being? I try to encourage people by sharing my stuggles. I recognize that I have a few years of personal development to go.

Obsessive book series of choice: Anything by Seth Godin

Library room of choice: The MechE Lab, 294 Mudd

What you think the sexiest animal is: Beavers

Guilty pleasure song: “Weakends” (sic) by Motion City Soundtrack. Fight back at the pouring rain!

Do you watch “Girls” ironically or unironically? Look, I don’t enjoy it, but someone needs to make the GIFs.

Historical hottie: Neil Armstrong

Personals: James Ramseur, CC’13, and Rakhi Agrawal, All The Schools’14

Just because your Valentine’s chocolates have all been eaten doesn’t mean that a sweet, sweet love can’t enter your life. Meet J.T. and Rakhi — and don’t forget to send your lovelorn missives to personals@bwog.com.

Name, Year, School, Major: J.T. Ramseur, 2013, CC, Psychology

Preference: Guy for guy

Hometown: Mountain View, CA via Monterey, CA

Your dream date in seven words or fewer: Pasta dinner, movie, walk in the park

What redeems you as a human being? I don’t give half-assed hugs and I don’t need to drink to dance. Come to think of it, I don’t really need music either.

Obsessive book series of choice: Cliché but true: Harry Potter. I reread the seventh book AGAIN over break.

Library room of choice: Generally my room; occasionally Avery.

What you think the sexiest animal is: Foxes are foxy

Your guilty pleasure song: Say Ok — Vanessa Hudgens

Do you watch “Girls” ironically or unironically? Neither, though I may have seen enough gifs to piece it together.

Historical Hottie: BEYONCÉ IS TIMELESS. Jk, I’ll say a young W.E.B. DuBois. He was kinda cute before balding, and I can be a bit sapiosexual.

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Personals: Sam Schipani, CC’15, and Matt Martinez, CC’13

Valentine’s Day is over, but there’s still a shot at love. Tonight’s personal profiles reject cuddling and believe in common human decency, respectively: meet Sam Schipani and Matt Martinez. Your one-email stop to love, as always, is personals@bwog.com.

Name, Year, School, Major: Sam Schipani, CC’15, Sustainable Development

Preference: Girl for Guy

Hometown: The cultural mecca of Sterling, VA

Your dream date in seven words or fewer: Engineer buys me falafel. No cuddling.

What redeems you as a human being? I still play “Pokemon” pretty regularly.

Obsessive book series of choice: Right now? “A Song of Ice and Fire.” In my youth? “Magic Tree House.” They’re basically the same.

Library room of choice: Hartley Sky Lounge (there is one bookshelf, so it counts)

What you think the sexiest animal is: Dinoflagellate.

Your guilty pleasure song: Anything by Weird Al Yankovic

Do you watch “Girls” ironically or unironically? Is it possible to watch “Girls” unironically?

Historical Hottie: Alexander Hamilton

Read on for Matt’s answers.