Maybe it’s because of the new semester or all of the fraternities that are hosting rush events, but last weekend was one for the books for Bwog Staffers. From endless hookups to weird encounters at 1020, here are the best moments from our weekends.

If you know, you know.

Bwog and Hooking Up:

• Got laid, then went to Tom’s with him the next morning for post-sexual encounter brunch.
• Left my Twitter handle and a plea for cute gay girls to message me on a “try our markers” board at a Muji store.  (Fruitless so far.)
• Got dumped, got laid. In that order.
• Hooked up with a guy that I have been loving to hate all semester. Was so drunk that I ended up kissing his nose at the end and I have yet to come to terms with that.
• Stayed overnight with a guy and accurately diagnosed him with sleep apnea the morning after (he’s getting a mouth guard).
• Got laid and stole his Thrasher shirt.

Bwog in the City:

• Went to Roti Roll three separate times. Realized there’s an inner door connecting Roti Roll and Suite, the gay bar next door. While I was ordering, the drag queen walked through the door and grabbed some napkins from Roti Roll’s counter.
• Lost my phone, then had to spend all of Sunday watching on Find my iPhone as the guy who had it walked from Schapiro to Lerner and back like four times.
• Scheduled my first interview for an internship.
• Went to Junzi Late Night for the first time and got the tequila mango juicebox cocktail. Realized that I hated tequila.
• Went to an arcade in Chinatown with my boyfriend.
• Got lost in brooklyn & was mortified by the degree of gentrification.
• My girlfriend got hit on by a guy at Mel’s who used the opening line: “What do you know about cryptocurrency?” He then pulled up a chair and gave us a 30 min overview. Apparently Ripple is gonna get big soon, so invest now.

Bwog at Frats:

• Got asked by a frat guy at a party, “You definitely go to therapy, right?”
• Was called a frat loyalist, rebelled and crashed a KDR get together.
• Got really crossed at a Beta party, where I proceeded to sign up for information on the frat by accident.
• Smoked hookah for the first time and got so sick I threw up in my friend’s bed.

Bwog Doing Other Things:

• Ate pizza with my best friend who goes to school in Boston and who shares my same name.
• Learned how to use a bong via analogies relating to various band instruments.
• Was named “best at eating someone out” in a game of Paranoia.
• Woke up to my roommate being on acid.
• Got so drunk that I did parkour on Philosophy Hall and then dove into a bush.
• Ran away from friends in the effort to get to JJ’s. Was nearly run over by incoming traffic.
• Carted my friend to her dorm in a blue bin when she became immobile in Hamilton; it turned out she had a sprained ankle.

“Who do you know here?” via Recycled Image

You can’t see the stairs from outside, but trust us, they’re in there.

Recently, this unfortunate Bwogger enrolled in a class that meets Mondays and Wednesdays on the seventh floor of Hamilton Hall. After constantly forgoing the 20-minute elevator wait in favor of hiking up all six flights of stairs instead, she realized that the seven floors of Hamilton are perhaps best encapsulated by the seven stages of grief.

Floor 2: Pain and Guilt. This is where you start your inevitable journey; you first turn your back on the long lines around the elevator and instead take to the winding staircases. As soon as you step foot up the stairs, you suffer immediate pain in that twisted ankle you didn’t even know you had until now. If that’s not bad enough, you also start to have overwhelming feelings of guilt as you hike up past this floor, thinking to yourself that you maybe should have just waited for the elevator.

Floor 3: Anger and Bargaining. By the time you reach the second flight of stairs, you’re angry. You may lay unwarranted blame for your pain: who the hell only put one elevator in this building anyways? You might also attempt to negotiate with powers out of your control (“I will never drink again if you just give me the courage to get up these goddamn stairs”)

Floor 4: Reflection and Loneliness.  When you realize that you still haven’t reached floor 7 yet, you’re probably experiencing a period of sad self-reflection. At this point, you ultimately realize the true magnitude of the number of stairs you need to climb to get to your class, and it demoralizes you. You might focus on memories of a happier, pre-staircase past.

Floor 5: The Upward Turn. Wow, you’ve already hiked 4 flights! Your advanced position in your journey makes you feel like a more accomplished, more active human being.  Just as you begin adjusting to a healthier, staircase-driven lifestyle, you become a little calmer and organized with your thoughts.

Floor 6: Reconstruction and Working Through. As your mind clears, you start working through more realistic solutions to life’s problems (i.e. the elevators). It wasn’t that bad, you begin thinking to yourself as you take on a new lifestyle. I could probably do this again if I had to.

Floor 7: Acceptance and Hope. Given the turmoil you have just faced, you might not be able to return to the carefree, untroubled you that once existed prior to hiking up the stairs. But you will start to look forward and have hope: maybe your really good discussion in class today will make it all worth it. Eventually, you will be able to think about your inevitable fate of hiking up all 6 flights every day without pain; sadness, yes, but the pain will be gone.

Floor 1: Shock and Denial. If you realize that your class meets on floor 1 instead of floors 3-7, you’re most likely responding with complete shock and disbelief. You might think to yourself, do classes on floor 1 even exist? How have I gotten so lucky? Having a class on floor 1 is unlikely, and most likely a breach of reality on some level.

 Inevitable panting and  tiredness via Recycled Image

Pianist Simone Dinnerstein returned to the Miller Theatre for a performance of works by Franz Schubert and Philip Glass

Deputy Editor and live music aficionado Zack Abrams attended the Miller Theatre last Thursday for the show ‘Glass + Schubert,’ a solo recital by pianist Simone Dinnerstein who performed music by Franz Schubert and Philip Glass.

After an enjoyable experience at the Miller Theatre last semester, I was once again excited to see Simone Dinnerstein perform classical works by Philip Glass, this time accompanied by works by Franz Schubert as well. The single performer made for a less dynamic performance than last time, but there was still much to be appreciated in the nuance of the pieces, which meshed together far more interestingly than the works of Bach and Glass at the first show.

The stage was set to amplify the presence of the single grand piano; a row of fake candles lined the edge of the stage, flickering in their electronic regularity. Soon after I sat down, the lights dimmed and Dinnerstein entered wearing flowing red silk over a sequined dress. Her dramatic solitude, as there was no sheet music and therefore no need for a page-turner, enhanced the melancholy tone of many of the pieces.

Click here to hear about the music!

Why is Columbia so snowFLAKY?

It’s a whole new CCSC, and Monday mood board Nadra Rahman is here to report on it. 

Welcome back to CCSC recaps—believe it or not, last night was the first Sunday since we’ve returned from break (XD). Appropriately, President Nathan Rosin inaugurated the semester donning his monstrous Secret Snowflake gift from last semester, a shirt featuring a minion and Hamilton becoming one. But that wasn’t the main point of yesterday’s meeting: instead, CCSC managed to appoint four new members, replacing former 2019 Rep Sofia Petros, Student Services Reps Toqa Badran and Monique Harmon, and Pre-Professional Rep Rafael Ortiz.

In their place, we have:

• 2019 Rep: Elisa Kong (CC ’19)
• Student Services Reps: Jordan Singer (CC ’19) and Aaron Fisher (CC ’18)
• Pre-Professional Rep: Patricia Granda-Malaver (CC ’20)

All These Flakes Studied Abroad And That’s Why They Needed To Be Replaced
All the candidates made brief speeches, after which the meeting was closed to all but members of CCSC and Interim Columbia Elections Board Chair, Josh Burton. According to Rosin, “Without Josh, there’s no way we would be able to do all this.” Thanks, Josh!

Hip hip hurray for a new CCSC

Don’t see this a lot? We got you covered.

Here we are, Bwoggers: with the new semester starting, many may have forgotten that in just three weeks, Valentine’s Day will be rolling around, reminding you of your perpetual loneliness or causing you to question what may have happened if you cuffed the person you hooked up with at Beta. While we cannot help with post-hook up advice, we can help you get back on the right track.

Tired of spending time on Tinder, Bumble, or Grindr trying to find the person of your dreams only to be ghosted or worse? Can’t seem to pull off a relationship from online sites? Need help getting yourself out there? Bwog is here for you! Introducing Bwinder: the not-so-new service that may help you find your new boo. All you have to do is submit an email to tips@bwog.com answering the questions below and submitting one picture of yourself (reminder – we at Bwog are not your boo, please do not send nudes)! If you do this by Friday, February 9th and are patient, you may just see yourself on the website during the week of Valentine’s Day. Bwog is ready to help you, so help us by submitting your information as soon as possible!

The Questions:

Name, Year, School, Major (grad students encouraged)
Preference (girl for girl, etc)
Hometown
Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer
What redeems you as a human being?
Library room of choice
Beverage of choice
Which dating apps have you been active on? (be honest)
Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night?
Historical Hottie

Personals are due Friday, February 9th, to tips@bwog.com by 11:59 PM EST.

A nightmare of an app via Tinder

The building where it happens.

Happening Around The World: Amidst threats of nuclear missile attacks from North Korea, Japan has conducted their first major missile evacuation drill to prepare themselves for an event that may happen in the future. This has prompted mixed reactions from the Japanese public, as some view the drill as being beneficial to the safety of the Japanese public while others feel that these types of drills monger fear. (Japan Times)

Happening in the Country: After conflicts over programs such as DACA, a program that provides rights and protection for undocumented youth, the Senate will reconvene today to vote on opening up the government for talks. Since the end of last week, the government has been shut down, halting services such as national parks and legislative processes. (CNN)

Happening in NYC: Around 4:45 PM yesterday, a shooting occurred at Herald Square, between 32nd Street and Broadway. Three men, including a tourist from Romania, were shot by a gun-wielding 45-year old man, prompting them to be sent to the hospital. Everyone is expected to have a full recovery. (CBS)

Happening on Campus: World-renowned physician Dr. Nadine Burke Harris will be on campus today for a book signing and panel discussion of her new work, The Deepest Well, as well as talk about issues regarding child adversity. This will be held at the Italian Academy from 3:00-5:30 PM. (Information can be found here)

Overheard on Campus: “The next time we go to EC, I want to get so wasted that we steal all of the tarp from the grass so we can give the people what they want” – JJ’s, 1/21/18

Big white building that is not the White House via Public Domain