A poor quality photo to reflect our poor quality team

Were you at the football game yesterday? If you weren’t, take it from someone who sat through the whole thing: you didn’t miss much. The Princeton Tigers trounced your Columbia Lions, 45 to 10.

I’m not gonna lie, it was a little sad to see our boys on the field fumble one pass after another. It was a little sad to see the stands – so full of tipsy sorority girls and guys with “WE WANT BAMA” painted on their chests at the start of the game – empty out as everyone realized we had dropped the ball. And it was a lot sad to hear the Princeton Marching Band play their fight song approximately ten million times as their team kept scoring touchdowns.

But at the same time, it was nice to be on the losing side again. It was comforting. Like a warm sweater draped around my shoulders, ushering in the rest of autumn. It was as though some cosmic fissure, cracked when the team miraculously managed to win eight of their ten games last year, has now been repaired. We students can now be safe in our knowledge that we don’t go to an athletic school.

Also, as a member of the Marching Band, I only had to do thirteen push-ups the whole game.

yet still iconoclastic via Betsy Ladyzhets

Who am I? That’s one secret I’ll never tell… You know you love me, xoxo

Disclaimer (added 9/29/18, 6:40 pm): This post compiles field notes from Bwog staffers over the summer and presents them in a Gossip Girl-style parody.

Hey Morningside Heights dwellers. Gossip Bwog here. And do I have the biggest news for you. I bet you’re wondering why it has taken me such a long time to upload but truth be told, I was taking some time away from the textbooks for some much-needed R & R. However, what would an Ivy League education be if we didn’t share secrets with our companions?

While Chuck, Serena, Dan, and Blair remain fiction, this is very much real. Just like the little birdies who have been (consensually — Gossip Bwog is very respectful of privacy) spilling their stories from the past summer months. You didn’t hear it from me, but it sounds like our resident Columbia students have been a somewhat active community this break.

The word on the street is that where there happens to be illegal alcohol consumption, questionable intellect and daddy’s trust funds, hedonism is always present. A big kudos to the Barnard girls for being autonomous and proving you can be a strong independent woman while owning your sexuality.

Although I’ve always had a preference for the ‘dating before mating,’ it appears some people don’t agree. What would a trip to New York City be without finding a Harvard boy in Koreatown and getting rather frisky in the backseat? More than anything, Gossip Bwog feel sorry for the driver! If you are in any way inclined to do the same, I can report her Uber rating is at a solid 4.87 so don’t worry about getting declined from your favourite late-night app ladies and gents.

Click for hot Milstein rooms near you!

we all know that one guy

Events Editor and lapsed black belt Isabel Sepúlveda still has not picked back up her favorite martial art. As such, she has to channel all her rage into something and she’s decided that’s going to be internet call-out posts.

Bwog’s bread and butter is archetypes: throughout our storied history, we’ve taken you on a whirlwind tour through the kind of people you meet in your Core classes, on Tinder, in EC, and in office hours to name a few. Because, while every Columbia student is unique, individual, and beautiful, we’re also all occasionally variations on the same theme. It just so happens that one of those themes makes me want to scratch my eyes out with a coat hanger: That Guy in your discussion section. (Though this is a concept that occasionally defies gender roles, in my experience, it’s a guy a solid 80% of the time, if I’m being conservative.)

There’s been countless thinkpieces on how men and women act in when in discussion with one another and I bet this person has read them all but taken exactly none of them to heart. He might have a “The Future Is Female” next to the Bernie 2016 sticker on his laptop, but the moment you give him the opportunity to discuss Hegel or Shakespeare or the Founding Fathers or some other (usually white and male) thinker, the rest of his classmates (especially the female ones) don’t matter. The only thing that does is his obviously brilliant insight that no one else has ever thought of before ever, even if it’s the most basic or misguided point you could make based off the text.

Hear more about how terrible this kid really is.

This is your brain on imperialism.

New York City is packed with amazing culture and inspiring art, but sometimes it’s difficult to break the Morningside-bubble and experience it all first-hand. “Where Art Thou” is a weekly guide to interesting and notable lectures, events, and performances for the literary/musically/theatrically-inclined on campus.

On Campus:

• Concerts, concerts everywhere! Looking for vocal acid jazz? Sahana Narayanan and the Faculty house have you covered this Wednesday. Prefer Latin jazz? Acclaimed musicians abound this Thursday at the Event Oval. Rather try something a little new, like groovy Brazilian choro? Regional de NY is performing next Saturday at the Miller Theater. Rather stick to the basics? The quintessential Julliard String Quartet would love to see you at the Broadway Presbyterian Church on Thursday. Check event pages for ticket information.
• There’s a new art exhibit up at the Harriman Institute, and it involves baby Stalin. Head to the International Affairs building this Tuesday for an opening (yes, wine) and talk with Anne Bobroff-Hajal about her exhibit, Peasants, Clans, and Effervescent Absolutists. Her pieces explore how Russia’s ruling elites have exploited the population throughout history to retain power.
• Third Wheel Improv sneaks in the first show of the semester this Friday, October 5th at 9 PM. Head to John Jay Lounge for Third Wheel Improv Finds its Real Dad to find out if you ARE or ARE NOT Third Wheel Improv’s father.

Off Campus:

• Tomorrow at 5 PM, head to Common Notions publishing house in Brooklyn for a talk with Silvia Federici about her new book Witches, Witch-Hunting and Women. Federici examines the modern war on women in the context of 16th- and 17th century witch hunts, revisiting the themes of Caliban and the Witch.
• Comic Con starts this weekend! Do you have your tickets? There’s no missing out on one of the world’s largest celebrations of comics, pop culture, art, cosplay and more.

Catherine the Great via the Harriman Institute

here’s the saucy orbit asteroid Ryugu takes, now with 2 hopping passengers

Happening in the World: Japan’s Space Agency has successfully landed two rovers on the surface on Ryugu, an asteroid more than 200 million miles away from Earth. These two rovers stand at a whopping 3 inches tall. To get around the surface on the asteroid, these tiny, yet mighty asteroids hop around because any other movement would cause them to slowly lift upwards as soon as they start to move. By hopping, more control is gained and these ‘hops’ can last for up to 15 minutes, at 50 feet above the surface of the asteroids.

Happening in the US: On Friday, after an eleven-hour discussion amongst members of the Senate Judiciary Committee, by a party-line vote, have recommended Brett Kavanaugh to the full Senate, however on the condition that the vote by the full Senate must be delayed until after the FBI conducts a one week, “limited in scope” background investigation into allegations of sexual misconduct against him. Trump has agreed to the terms, and the new deadline for the vote will be October 5th.

Happening in NYC: The mayor’s office’s proposal to erect a 40 story community jail complex at 80 Centre Street in Chinatown was met by protests from neighborhood residents and other officials. This proposal was meant to be part of Mayor Bill de Blasio’s plan to close down violence-ridden Riker’s Island. Residents say that the neighborhood already has one of the highest concentrations of courthouses and jails in the city, while the head of the of the Correctional Officer’s Benevolent Association opposes the proposal because he says the layout of the jail would not be effective.

Happening on Campus: Dr. Urvashi Sahni’s talk titled, Engaging Boys for Gender Justice was rescheduled to Monday, October 1 from 1:00 pm to 2:00 pm. She will be discussing “how teachers can work to develop boy’s feminist consciousness using critical feminist pedagogy so that boys learn to re-think patriarchy and the gender injustice inherent in its structure.”

Documentary of the Week: NOVA: Super Tunnel. I know last week was also a NOVA special, but this one is seriously good too! Public transportation is complex to build, especially when trying to link it to existing systems. This documentary follows the construction of Crossrail, a new metro line connecting to the London Underground system. In the process of creating 26 miles of tunnel, they have to maneuver around tunneling where at the narrowest point is 8 inches below a crowded metro station.

Do you ever think, ‘Hey, I want all the info Bwog has to offer, but I don’t have time in my busy Columbia schedule to go through the effort of typing in bwog.com?’ If you do, Bwogletter is the perfect solution for you! Don’t have this dilemma? Still sign up for Bwogletter! Our new and amazing newsletter!

saucy orbit via Wikimedia Commons