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Daily Archive: October 29, 2018

Oct

29

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Halloweekend: possibly the best fucking holiday of all time. This year’s Halloween did not disappoint, and Bwog shares some of their crazy and/or embarrassing adventures to amuse you. 

Bwog and Rally

  • Got chased by a public safety officer in Butler at 3 am on Thursday when I was being drunk and obnoxious in a purple dragon onesie
  • Got yelled at for hooking up at an EC party because the girl said “this is NOT that kind of party”
  • Got really drunk and came home and made myself mashed potatoes after my roommate was puking and I had to carry her into her bed and undress her
  • Crashed a Halloween party of all Australian people on the lower east side
  • Got way too lit at the Beta/SigNu thing, went to 1020 after, and knocked down the entire barricade outside
  • Did coke in the Lerner bathroom during genderfuck
  • Had a friend who was on some hard drugs throw chips at public safety and then got chased by public safety
  • My friends visited who are seniors in high school and I introduced them to Columbia parties. they were actually impressed.
  • Saw a Columbia kid punch a bouncer. Vowed to never again be around aggro drunk boy energy (a vow that i’ll prob break next weekend tbh)
  • Went to a literal ketamine breeding ground narrated by drum & bass and eye glitter (circoloco)
  • Was trapped in Q Haus for a while because of the lesbians hooking up on my friend’s bag
  • Had my first jello shot
  • Went to a Halloween party in EC after pregaming, sat down in the bathroom in the party and had a heart to heart with all my friends.
  • Had to bounce from a party real quick because some girl hit my friend in the face then he spat back at her.
  • Helped my friend violently yuke in my toilet and haven’t cleaned it up yet.
  • Went to bed at 3 am; woke up at 6 to get Absolute then went back to bed.
  • Ended up getting very drunk with my entire bartending class, took multiple class shots
  • Went clubbing and fell off the table I was standing on
  • Was reduced to drinking beer at a frat party and almost threw up bc their basement smelled so bad

Read more about Halloweekend after the jump

Oct

29

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Original Facebook post please respond

In continuum with Deputy Editor Idris O’Neill’s complicated history with Columbia Crushes, she is broadcasting a Craigslist-guided job search for the new Columbia Crushes admin. Help us, anonymous Bwog reader, you’re our only hope. 

I am an avid subscriber of the Columbia Crushes Facebook page and have recently not seen the Facebook page update as often as I would like. This is putting a serious stint in my lack of access to other people’s hookups. The last post, published EIGHT DAYS AGO, reads: “CARLOS MARTINEZ U A LAMP.” It is unhelpfully received with a moth image, but there is NO new content to distract me from this awful submission.

Perhaps you have read on their Facebook page about this position opening. You should consider it an unpaid internship. If this displeases you, I suggest you stop reading now. I am only looking for people who are dedicated to uplifting the community out of altruism, not CLOUT. It is important that you also be DISCREET so as to maintain the mystification of this admin role. YOU SHOULD NOT FOLLOW THE PAGE. Anything that ties you to Columbia Crushes could be used against you. If this is something that speaks to you and you would like to be a part of one of the only traditions Columbia has, please DM Columbia Crushes 2.0 stating why you are the best fit.

  • Compensation: You will be compensated through the satisfaction of the community.
  • Please do not contact job poster except through Columbia Crushes submissions or tips@bwog.com.
  • Please do not contact job poster about other services, products, or commercial interests.

Please consider this my formal application via Columbia Crushes 2.0

Oct

29

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Joe wishes these toasts could be his

Milstein Peet’s Coffee is better than any of the three Joe Coffees, and you can’t change EIC Youngweon Lee’s mind. Joe wishes he could be Peet. In his dreams!

Joe Coffee has a monopoly on Columbia’s campus, but to the west of Broadway, on Barnard’s campus, a newcomer, Peet’s Coffee, is a force to be reckoned with. Sure, Peet spells his name weirdly (when I first saw it spelled out I thought it was a typo for Pete) but he has better, cheaper coffee than Joe and also has avocado toast (as well as peanut butter toast, tomato toast, and strawberry banana toast) made on the spot for only $5. Joe, with his $8 pre-made sandwiches wrapped in plastic (bad for the environment!) could never.

Peet has also stationed himself in a shiny new building that makes NoCo look like a pile of rubble. Okay, maybe not actually, but NoCo Joe’s seating area is always so crowded and hectic, whereas you can grab a coffee from Milstein Peet and go to a wide variety of seating areas all over Milstein. Pulitzer Joe isn’t much better than NoCo Joe (or slightly worse, depending on who you ask) and Dodge Joe is just ugly. Sorry, Dodge Joe.

If you recall my thorough analysis of the three Joes, you might know that I don’t actually like Joe’s coffee because of its sourness. What happened to the days when coffee was nice and bitter? Anyway, I was bracing myself for another onslaught of sourness attacking my taste buds this morning but was pleasantly surprised by my Peet’s latte. Its soft, full bitterness enveloping my soul was just what I needed this cold autumn morning. Joe’s sour beans could never. They’re sour from jealousy.

Joe also offers coffee in only two sizes, whereas Peet has three. If you don’t want a small or a large, you can get a medium. Revolutionary. I think Peet’s coffee is also slightly cheaper than Joe’s, but I got a hot latte today, so Peet might also charge a whole dollar extra for ice and I might just not know about it.

There are exactly two aspects in which Joe is better than Peet, though: Peet isn’t open on the weekends, and doesn’t take American Express. I support Peet wholeheartedly nonetheless because he’s just a small business in the corner of Milstein, subverting the evil Joenopoly going on across Broadway. Joe, green from jealousy, might try to take over Peet, as it did Up, but we cannot let this happen. We must protect Peet at all costs.

avo toast via Youngweon Lee

Oct

29

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This is what my dad saw when he saw Butler

While Columbia has Greek life, Staff Writer Alicia Benis knows all too well about actual Greek life. In the spirit of Family Weekend, and her actual Greek dad visiting, she explains why Butler is absolutely every Greek dad’s dream.

If you haven’t noticed by now, I seem to have a special affinity towards Butler. I don’t mind studying there, I think it’s really pretty, and has a lot of important books. But, I think there’s someone who loves Butler even more than I do: my dad.

Yes, you read correctly. My dad LOVES BUTLER. He hasn’t even stepped foot inside this grand library, but for him, it was love at first sight. It all started when I decided to give my parents a tour of Columbia’s campus during Family Weekend, since they had already seen plenty of Barnard’s campus. We were walking along College Walk in order to get to a cafe on Amsterdam for breakfast. I acted like a tour guide, and when I pointed to Butler, my dad stopped DEAD in his tracks. I can remember clearly as he looked at the But, squinted and read over and over again, the names etched across the top of it. “Homer, Herodotus, Sophocles, Plato, Aristotle, Demosthenes, Cicero, Vergil.” He was awestruck.

“You see Alicia, I told you the Greeks were important! The names of some of the greatest Greeks are on the face of the library at the best college in the world, the one that you go to!” You see, my dad is one of those Greek dads who goes around proudly saying “the Greeks invented this,” “insert random word here comes from the Greek word…” “If it wasn’t for us Greeks y’all would be nowhere!” The names on Butler only further validated his point. They didn’t put the names of thinkers from other countries, they put the names of Greek thinkers there.

So, in honor of my dad falling in love with Butler, here are a few more reasons why Butler is the dream for every Greek dad out there.

  1. It looks like the Parthenon itself. I mean, have you seen the thing? Butler and the Parthenon have the same exact Greek columns and dark spaces in between. Heck, some would say that whoever designed Butler stole the idea from the architects of the Parthenon themselves.
  2. It’s a library. Greeks created libraries. The Library of Alexandria, anyone? (R.I.P.)
  3. Because it’s a library, it contains books by all of the amazing Greek thinkers. That definitely puts Greek dads at ease knowing that their children are receiving a quality education and are learning only the best from those thinkers. Like, people who take LitHum probably got their Iliads and Odysseys from Butler (shout out to Homer!)
  4. Butler is actually of Greek origin. It comes from the word “bibliotheke” which means library!
  5. In the words of my dad, “Butler, along with the rest of this campus, looks like a Greek academy. THANK GOD you decided to come here!” For those Greek dads who couldn’t send their children to Athens Polytechnic or the Kapodistrian University, at least Columbia looks like one of those. So if the name COLUMBIA didn’t assure them that their children were getting a superior education, at least the look of it makes them feel comfortable with their children’s choices.
  6. Students spend late late nights in Butler. That’s pretty much the American college student equivalent of Greek party culture, where Greeks will LITERALLY celebrate, dance, eat and drink until the sun comes up. And hey, it’s not partying, it’s studying, which makes it all that much better!
  7. There’s a cafe inside of Butler? Greeks are literally the epitome of a culture that survives off of coffee and water, and probably consumes more coffee than their actual body weights. Although, Greek dads would be a little disappointed that they don’t serve Greek coffee in demi-tasse cups like the do at the kafenia (coffee shops) in Greece.
  8. The marble-y staircases. Can we take a moment to discuss the fact that Greeks created marble? Ah marble, like the marble statues England stole and now houses at the British Museum (still salty about that.) Are we sure that Columbia didn’t steal those marbles from England and made them into Butler’s stairs???
  9. Butler represents a typical space in academia. Again, Greeks created academia. It’s all in the word!
  10. Finally, Greek dads can use all of this to brag to their friends back in Greece about how their children attend the Greekest institution in America with the Greekest library, and it happens to be an Ivy League school.

So if you have a Greek dad like I do, make sure to show them Butler. They’re sure to fall in love with it just like my dad did. Shout out to our babawho will continue to embarrass us, lecture us, and make us proud to be Greek and proud to be at Barnumbia.

Visit the Parthenon here

Oct

29

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I look at this and I get tired thinking about how much they have to run.

Bwogger Elizabeth Burton is taking over the sports recap this week. Please bear with us, she only recently learned that Columbia has an athletics department.

Volleyball: The Lions (9-10, 3-6 Ivy) lost both matches 0-3 over the weekend.

Against Harvard (10-8, 5-4 Ivy), they lost by only four points in the first set. The margin increased as the match continued with scores of 25-19 and 25-18. There were still highlights on the Columbia side: Isa Lamus tied the season-high in blocks with seven.  At Dartmouth (8-12, 4-6 Ivy), the match was more varied. The Lions suffered in the first two sets, losing by 12 and 13 points. They recovered in the third, but they fell two points short of winning the set.

Cross Country: Both the Columbia Cross-Country teams competed in the Ivy League Heptagonal Championships at Princeton. Despite the rain and cold, the Women’s team one their second consecutive title, and the Men’s team finished in fifth place. For the women, seniors Erin Gregoire and Libby Kokes finished second and fourth, respectively. On the men’s side, Kenny Vasbinder earned a second team All-Ivy position and a ninth place finish.

Men’s Soccer: Columbia (8-4-1, 4-1 Ivy) won an important game against Yale (6-5-1, 1-2-2 Ivy) this weekend. The final score was 2-1 with Columbia scoring both its goals in the first half. In the first 90 seconds, Kynan Rocks shot and barely missed, but it was saved by Dylan Mott for the first goal of the game. The other goal was scored by Vana Markarian. This game helped the Lions to advance three points in the Ivy rankings, and they are now second in the League.

Oct

29

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Nadra Rahman reports from the balmy climes of the Satow Room on CCSC’s latest ventures.

It was a finance-heavy night for CCSC as they navigated where they (a) want their own money to go, and (b) where they want others’ money to go. But there was one big outcome to cheer about: a Metrocard program targeting low-income students so they that they can explore the city.

That’s A No For Bacchanal

The first discussion of the night was on the future of the Alumni Fund. Alumni, long removed from both Butler and 1020 binges, have solicited CCSC’s input on what their money should go towards, putting forth three suggestions: (1) campus traditions, (2) specific student needs, and (3) student activities.

For the most part, members seemed set on directing alumni funds towards student needs. As USenator Alfredo Dominguez pointed out, dedicated funds exist for both campus traditions and student activities in a way that they don’t for certain student needs. He was echoed by students who voiced the need for improved health and CPS services (2020 President James Ritchie), recreational space (Student Services Rep Henry Felman), reduced food insecurity, hangout space for marginalized students (Race and Ethnicity Rep Heven Haile), and exam prep classes for low-income students (from the audience).

VP Finance Adam Resheff did briefly speak to the potential value of increased funding for events like Bacchanal, “the tradition that has the most tangible impact for the broadest group of students.” While more funding for Bacchanal might make it possible for us to get better artists and impact a larger swathe of students, VP Policy Elise Fuller rebutted that students can’t very well enjoy these events if they are going unfed or are unsupported in other respects. She added that the Policy committee often works to address student needs and is constantly searching for funding for their initiatives—support from alumni could alleviate that stress.

Metrocards after the jump

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Oct

29

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what’s better than this? just guys… being dudes

Happening in the World: Two Australian police officers jumped into the ocean in order to save a drowning kangaroo. They pulled the unconscious animal from the sea and continued to perform chest compressions in order to revive it. One of the police officers, Kirby Tonkin, stated “every life is worth saving and we just did what we could.” The kangaroo is now recovering after the traumatic experience.

Happening in the US: The Boston Red Sox are currently only one win away from earning their ninth World Series title after defeating the Los Angeles Dodgers 9-6 in Game 4 of the best of seven contest. While Friday night’s tied game lasted more than seven hours by the time the Dodgers’ Max Muncy hit a walk-off home run in the 18th inning, Saturday night’s game took a turn for Boston in the top of the ninth inning.

Happening in NYC: Police have found and identified two women’s bodies floating in the Hudson River. The bodies are those of Tala Farea, 16, and Rotana Farea, 22, who are sisters from Fairfax, Virginia, are suspected to have been wanting to end their own lives by taping themselves together and jumping into the water.

Happening on Campus: October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and Columbia University’s Fall 2018 Blood Drive Campaign is dedicated to increasing awareness of the disease and providing support to cancer patients as well as others in need of donated blood. It will be taking place from 10 AM to 4 PM at the Columbia School of Nursing.

Overseen/Overheard: “A man in a pirate costume outside Butler waved to my friend and said ‘Ahoy, sexy!’”

the sox via NJ

Oct

29

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*Samantha Grubner is not pictured

While we were all procrastinating on our readings for tomorrow, the V-Show finalized the creative team for the 125th Annual Varsity Show. Here they all are (below and on the right). Good luck, C-team! May you sleep at least a little and write (/design/direct/manage) a lot in the next few months.

  • Director: Bernadette Bridges (CC ’19): Actor, V123; Sunshine Team, V124
  • Producers: Samantha Grubner* (SEAS’19): Production Manager, V122, V123; Sunshine Team, V124; Sila Puhl (CC’21): Assistant Producer, V124
  • Writers: Jake Arlow (BC’19): Run/Build/Electrics Crew, V123, V124; Jacob Kaplan (CC’20): Actor, V123, Sunshine Team, V124
  • Composer/Lyricists: Yael Cohen (CC’21): Pit, V124; Brent Morden (CC’19)
  • Choreographer: Andrea Patella (BC’21)
  • Production Designer: Lena Kogan (BC’19): Master Painter, V122, Costume Designer, V123, V124
  • Stage Manager: Sarah Leidich (BC’21): Publicity Team, V124

Photo via V Show

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