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img September 25, 20189:01 pmimg 5 Comments

“The work of politics is to acknowledge the world as it is, but to fight for the world as it should be.” – Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Last night, the Columbia University Democrats and the School of International and Public Affairs (SIPA) co-hosted an event featuring Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the 28-year-old Democratic nominee for Congress in New York’s 14th Congressional District, in Riverside Church. Joining her onstage were Nobel Laureate and SIPA professor Joseph Stiglitz and Anya Schiffrin, the director of the Technologies Specialization at SIPA and wife to Stiglitz. Staff Writer Elizabeth Burton and Social Media Editor Zack Abrams attended.

After a last-minute room change to off-campus, the Columbia University Democrats hosted a conversation with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the Democratic Party’s nominee for Congress in New York’s 14th District. Joined by Columbia professors Joseph Stiglitz and Anya Schiffrin, Ocasio-Cortez answered questions regarding her campaign and her platform.

Prior to beginning her campaign, Ocasio-Cortez started a publishing house for children’s books, worked as an education researcher, assisted on Bernie Sanders’ 2016 Presidential campaign, and held a job as a bartender to make ends meet. She went on to launch her own congressional campaign in 2017 as a Democratic Socialist, highlighting issues related to human rights, healthcare, immigration, and capitalism. In a surprise upset, she unseated ten-term incumbent Joe Crowley in New York’s 14th Congressional District in order to win the Democratic primary, and is heavily favored to win the race this November.

More details of the event after the jump.



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img September 25, 201811:24 amimg 0 Comments

People who live in John Jay made a wise choice… the single (room) life is the life for me.

Upon arriving to Columbia, many first years were getting ready to deal with a lifestyle shift never before considered: having a roommate. Although many of us grew up sharing rooms with siblings, or having a roommate at boarding school, college roommates are a whole new ball game. So, new Bwogger Chenoa Bunts-Anderson decided to ask around and see how people are coping with sharing a room for the first time. 

The first week away from home can be overwhelming for a number of reasons. You’re afraid you’ll get lost on the subway, you suspect that you’ve accidentally called people the wrong name and they’re not correcting you because they don’t know yours, and sometimes the dining hall food just sucks. However, it’s not expected that maniacal giggling will wake you up in the middle of the night.

Lying there in the dark, I had a sudden realization: My new roommate was a serial killer. Or just manically giggles in her sleep. Same thing.

Struck by curiosity, and haunted by her occasional 3 am sleep-giggling, I decided to find others getting to know their new roommates. These are their stories:

“It took me two weeks to finally meet my roommate while she was sober.”

“I found a note on my door telling me to not walk on, or wake, my roommate while she napped on the floor between classes.”

“While I was writing my first UW paper my roommate transferred a party of drunk people into our double.”

“While I had a friend staying over for the night, I started having a sex dream and woke her up. She stayed awake. The whole time.”

“My roommate came back to our room drunk and proceeded to read the Iliad while laughing hysterically.”

“I went to John Jay with my quad-mates and asked them if anyone had a bag to sneak the bananas I was stealing out in. One of them said yes, and then put the bananas between her breasts. She also jiggled them around a bit. So I told her to keep the bananas.”

“My roommate listed me as her emergency missing-person contact after I told her she couldn’t.”

“When I go to sleep my roommate comes over to my bed and passive-aggressively starts cleaning my side of the room.”

“My roommate still hasn’t unpacked. I don’t even think I need to explain more than that.”

Conclusively: Roommate’s suck (except mine you’re the best person in the world please don’t hurt me while I sleep).

John Jay via Wikimedia



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img September 24, 20187:00 pmimg 4 Comments

This place is such a mess, but it just keeps bringing us back.

It may be getting colder, but Columbia students still find time to do crazy things! Send in your field notes to for a feature.


Drinking/Bar Adventures:

  • Threw an Earth, Wind, & Fire-themed party on September 21st. Five drinks in, read my two-page music hum essay on “September” to everyone.
  • Almost burst into tears when the bouncer at a work party tried to card me (and he let me in).
  • Walked into 1020, heard a Kid Rock song playing, and promptly walked out.
  • Told myself on Thursday afternoon I wouldn’t drink any liquor; spent Thursday night drinking homemade mojitos before making my way to Mel’s for Cape Codders.
  • got blackout drunk, woke up the next day and found out that two of my floormates decided it was a good idea to fuck…lol @ the next 8 months.
  • Witnessed a first year trying to bribe the 1020 bouncer with a crisp $20 bill.

Tinder Adventures:

  • went to Sig Nu darty instead of going on a wholesome Tinder date then proceeded to read 3 books of the Odyssey still drunk.
  • matched with a girl on tinder that looks eerily similar to my ex.
  • got into a long conversation with someone on tinder about mystical realms.
  • Ran into someone I matched on tinder at JJs.

How much did Bwog eat this weekend?



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img September 23, 20186:58 pmimg 1 Comments

Meet Min Hwang, this week’s CU Women in STEM subject, budding civil engineer, and musician!

Bwog Science is back with CU Women in STEM, where we highlight the amazing women in science at Columbia. Today’s profile is from Min Hwang, SEAS ’19, who aims to combine her interests in civil engineering and computer science!

Major: Civil Engineering

What subjects are you interested in: Structural engineering, computer science, and the intersections of these two fields

How did you get interested in your subject? Can you remember the moment that got you hooked? Ever since I was three, my mom wanted a lawyer in the family and I did exactly opposite of what she wanted—which is to become an engineer! All semi-jokes aside, I encountered a problem in my calculus BC textbook that informed me that roads are made in parabolic shapes. This is so that when it rains, all the water can go to the side and people would be able to drive safely. In my short life on this earth, I never could have guessed that someone would put so much thought into something we take for granted. The responsibility and capacity to guarantee the safety of others is what attracted me to this field.

Most important research/extracurricular experiences so far: I had the amazing opportunity this summer to conduct research in a three person team at Thornton Tomasetti. I always sought opportunities to merge my two interests in structural engineering and computer science and this project was a perfect marriage of the two. I facilitated transfer learning in a neural network model from Tensorflow detection model zoo trained to detect a dataset of animals and household objects to detect damages in concrete structures. The long term goal of this research is to create an autonomous inspection device that would not only help with annual inspections of infrastructure but also with inspections and assessments of hard-to-reach areas affected by natural disasters.

Read more here if you want to be an icon too



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img September 22, 20188:42 pmimg 0 Comments

A sign your hypnotist is doing something wrong.

Remember those bizarre “PERFORMANCE” flyers that went up around campus in the first week? On Thursday, new Bwogger Chenoa Bunts-Anderson headed downtown to solve the mystery of “Text, Magic Performance”: a play written by a Columbia student and a recent alumnus for the Anthropology class of the same name. She gives her thoughts below.

Have you ever wondered what spending 90 minutes performing a three act show about performance might be like? Because, apparently, two Columbia students thought up exactly that. The interesting, bizarre, and surprisingly hilarious show Text, Magic, Performance explores the boundaries between deep contemplation and classic slapstick fun.

Text, Magic, Performance was written, directed by, and stars Nathaniel Jameson and Alex Saltiel, two Columbia students who apparently had trouble saying goodbye to class. Although originally written for Text, Magic, Performance (ANTH UN3947), an Anthropology class at Columbia, the play aims to present the relationship between states of mind and methods of presentation to a larger audience. As a Columbia University student, it proved to be an engaging project very relevant to topics explored in CU’s Core, while also being vaguely reminiscent of watching Black Mirror at 3 am.

While Text, Magic, Performance doesn’t necessarily provide any breakthroughs in thinking or deliver a long, heartfelt moral, it is an intriguing topic. Act 1 proved overly reliant on PowerPoint slides, and the actors’ motives were unclear. But Jameson and Saltiel were both clearly passionate and involved actors who were able to bring the quotes they read to life.

This Gentleman was very opinionated.

Much of the show was held up by the actors’ remarkable knack for humorous delivery and willingness to fall on the ground at any moment. The cast consisted of three characters, only two of whom were listed in the night’s billing. By providing scant information at the door and on posters, they created a surprising experience. Additional audience participation and a “silent” non-automated character in the form of a baby doll added those elements of pure weirdness often attributed to drama majors. The venue of The Tank, a small not-for-profit theater, aided in the creepy atmosphere of a room with a group of men wearing white, faceless masks.

Live accompaniment by “The Butler” featured music by Simon Broucke (CC ‘19), who also composed for the 124th Annual Varsity Show last Spring. Though music was present, the play largely relied upon a never-ending stream of dialogue. Text, Magic, Performance was clearly written from the limited perspective of two male college students, and relied too heavily on the mimicking of WikiHow steps displayed by projector. The shortcomings in the presentation of Act 1, the lack of depth for certain aspects discussed, and a generally inconclusive plot marked this as a classic student-written and performed piece. Nonetheless, the audience had a good time, laughing for almost all of the show’s 90 minutes. The show proved to be worth a short trip downtown and $5 admission price.

To enjoy philosophical concepts drawn out a little too much and incredibly engaging humor, go see Text, Magic, Performance’s last show tonight at 10:30 pm.

Images via Chenoa Bunts-Anderson



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img September 22, 20187:02 pmimg 0 Comments

A small piece of Minaya’s sprawling and evocative mural.

New Bwogger Flor Hodge walked one block to attend the Creative Conversation with Joiri Minaya concerning her new site-specific mural in the lobby of Miller Theatre Redecode II: La Dorada. Like Minaya, she is also Dominican-American.

The people above age 21 spread across the lobby awkwardly. They do not seem to understand how this conversation will take place – where the seating will be, where Minaya will stand when she speaks. In the meantime, they make sure to take advantage of the free wine. The mural covers the wall on the north side of the lobby, and continues onto the wall perpendicular to it on the eastern side. These two walls are separated from the south side by an arch and on the other side of the western wall are the stairs where people could go up and treat themselves to snacks and wine. The mural also covers the western wall located across from the stairs, also on the other side of the arch . Ultimately, they crowd near the doors in order to see the piece in as much fullness as they can.

I see a woman who looks like she could be my aunt’s daughter, but I don’t talk to her just yet. She ends up being Joiri Minaya, the Dominican-Artist whose mural is displayed in Miller Theatre lobby. Two or three people are at her heels and make small talk. They try to be as welcoming as possible. They praise the humble artist; she accepts it and treats them all warmly.

I bet you $1 your Art Hum professor hasn’t told you about her. After the event, I have a conversation with Minaya. She has been creating art for as long as she can remember, and she’s never had any doubts that that is the career she wanted to pursue. Her mother was worried about her becoming a starving artist and hoped she would pursue a more “normal” career in something like anthropology, but art was it for her. And her dedication has paid off.

Minaya talks about the significance of her project after the jump!



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img September 22, 20183:22 pmimg 0 Comments

we love space!

Astronomer and Linguist Mihir Kulkarni, a graduate student at Columbia University, spoke in Pupin Hall for the first big event hosted by Columbia Astronomy Outreach this academic year called “Clocks of the Universe.” The night consisted of a lecture, a 3D virtualization, and stargazing, which was unfortunately canceled due to weather. New Bwoggers Michael Beltz and Mary Clare Greenlees covered the event.

When walking into Pupin Friday night, there were signs directing us to the fourth floor, where we were told the lecture part of the program was going to be held. We were greeted by a graduate student, handing us a small survey to provide data for the Astronomy Outreach Program. Questions varying from how old you are, your occupation, and whether you learned anything from the lecture. We sat in the fifth row, in the middle for a perfect viewing experience. The audience is what shocked the most, there were young children there, groups of university students, and older adults. One of us is a potential Astrophysics major, while the other is potentially majoring in Civil Engineering. Having both come from STEM backgrounds, we thought that the event would be a lot of fun and teach us something new. The event began with a 45-minute lecture by Kulkarni about time. This lecture, which he called“Clocks of the Universe,” focused on how our concept of time has changed throughout history and how we can create a timescale by looking at the sky. We have 3 astronomical tellers of time: the day, the month, and the year. The day is represented by the time it takes for the earth to fully rotate: about 24 hours. The month is represented by the time it takes the moon to complete a lunar orbit around the earth. The year is commonly defined as about 365 days, represented by the time it takes the earth to orbit the sun.
Want to know more about what amazing time facts we learned?



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img September 21, 20188:07 pmimg 5 Comments

Preventing Palestine invite

On September 20th, Dr. Seth Anziska ‘15 sat down to talk about his recently released book Preventing Palestine: From Camp David to Oslo, about the complex players of contemporary Middle Eastern politics. Deputy Editor Idris O’Neill and Bwog Baby Alicia Benis covered everything you want and don’t want to know.

Dr. Seth Anziska began the event by asserting that the book is seen through the lens and focus of a Palestinian homeland and the right to self-determination, oddly enough, as an initiative of President Jimmy Carter. There were three major players in the contemporary Middle East: Israel, Palestine, and the United States. “Sometimes it felt like America was acting more Israeli than the Israelis,” he stated. While President Carter was allegedly in support of this Palestinian right to self-determination, he faced struggles in both foreign and domestic affairs. The US had been preoccupied with the threat of the Cold War externally, while back home, the American Jewish community stood firmly against negotiations with the Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO), the functioning government of Palestinian territories, which has since been replaced by Hamas. The Palestinian-Israeli conflict itself was described as “not a monocausal story,” which includes the role of the United States as a facilitator between parties, Israeli action, and Egypt also looking for greater global importance at the time, eventually finding that the Palestinian voice, though a proponent of Carter’s support initially, thought itself abandoned by Anwar Sadat (Egypt’s then-President) and Jimmy Carter. At the turn of administrations, President Ronald Reagan felt “warmer” toward the Israeli side, thus ending American support (at least on an administrative level) for Palestinian statehood.

When asked what he thinks of the stratification between Palestinian support for Hamas and the PLO’s decrease of popularity, Anziska considered that the PLO had been an organization struggling with its desire for diplomatic recognition, as well as its commitment for armed struggle. As the PLO grew to become a diplomatic player in the Middle Eastern political sphere, becoming “domesticated, neutralized,” Hamas arose to fulfill the demonstrated need for an on-the-ground force to be rallied behind.

While the most difficult part of the process was access to the archives–as American archives were closed to him even as a Columbia doctorate candidate–Dr. Anziska was able to attain the Israeli perspective through access of their archives which are made publicly available for research after three decades. In doing so, he was able to piece together a series of events as political dominoes, such as the Israeli invasion of Beirut and its subsequent after-effects on Palestinian sovereignty. Anziska noted that while there was existing research about the conflict, very few sources still existed which could link Camp David and Oslo’s effects to the conversation of Palestinian statehood. “The challenge is: how do you write about a period that is not yet historicized?”

Find out the most surprising find of the Israeli archives after the jump.



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img September 21, 20182:32 pmimg 0 Comments

Staff Writer Vivian Zhou really loves Marlow Bistro, so she wrote them a love letter. This post was not sponsored by Marlow Bistro. 

To Marlow Bistro–

a delicious dinner at Marlow

This is my open love letter to you. People always tell me that love is the strongest feeling in the world, but I have yet to find a person to make me feel as emotionally charged as your food does. We both live in one of the largest food hubs in the world. I’ve met many others who are more sophisticated, more well-known, and more exquisite. But I don’t love you for your exclusivity or your fame. Love, to me, is not a Michelin-starred chef or an array of amuse-bouches. Fine dining is nice, but I will never feel at home amongst lowered voices and the deafening silence broken by the clattering of knives against fine china. I do feel at home with your fairy lights and wooden tables. I feel at home with you.

To me, you are the embodiment of a first love– simple, intimate, comforting, and unforgettable. I will never forget the many nights I spent sitting alone at the bar, feeling the warmth of friendly barside chatter. I will never forget the first time I tried a Neopolitan pizza with goat cheese and blueberry– a daring concept, but extremely well-executed. You have repeatedly surprised me with your bold and diverse flavors. I don’t want the fancy cutlery or persistent table service. I want your authenticity, and I admire you for sticking to what you do best: making delicious food.

More tantalizing details after the jump



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img September 20, 20188:23 pmimg 1 Comments

Bee mating dances are basically an insect version of this, according to Prof Pischedda

Earlier this week, Barnard hosted a talk with Biology Professor Alison Pischedda and Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies Professor Rebecca Jordan-Young on unconventional sexual behavior that is, in fact, backed up by biology. New Bwogger Chenoa Bunts-Anderson was in attendance to learn about flies, the Olympics, and the Jersey Shore.

At Monday night’s event From the Faculty Lounge: Biology and the Sexes, Professor Alison Pischedda, Assistant Professor of Biology at Barnard College, discussed her research on sexual behaviors. As a Freshman, I still hold all the bushy-eyed enthusiasm and hope not yet crushed by Midterms. So, when I saw an event publicizing discussions on sexuality and possibly frogs (disclaimer: the poster was deceiving) I jumped on the opportunity to attend. (Pun intended).

“The traits that make a male with the highest reproductive success are not the same as those a female uses to reach reproductive success,” Pischedda explained. This means that the fittest males will not always have the fittest offspring. Her research on this topic has been highly controversial, sparking outrage amongst those that prescribe to the belief that ideal offspring made “fit” males sexually desirable. Pischedda made her discoveries through examining the mating and offspring of Drosophila melanogaster, the common fruit fly, Professor Pischedda’s test subject of choice. The reasons for an animal’s choice of sexual partners is still unclear, as research has provided no definite answers. However, it is now understood that the fitness which defines natural selection does not define sexual selection.

Although this may be controversial research, Pischedda published her initial findings way back in 2006 (when Hannah Montana was still a thing). In recent years, more scientists have been accepting Pischedda’s data as an opportunity to redefine old notions of sexual selection; however, pushback has been present from the start. Professor Rebecca Jordan-Young, the Chair of Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies at Barnard College and the second speaker at Biology and the Sexes, discussed the bias towards sex-related data and non-conforming populations in science.

More on sex and gender after the jump



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img September 20, 20184:33 pmimg 0 Comments

Meet Dr. Mahn, experimental physicist at MSU!

On Monday morning, Columbia Society for Women in Physics (CSWP) hosted Kendall Mahn, a physicist from Michigan State University, for a CSWP Breakfast Chat before her Physics Colloquium: “See the World with Neutrinos: Current and Future Accelerator-Based Neutrino Experiments.” New staff writer Regan Mies attended the breakfast, and tells us what she took away from the event.

Dr. Mahn is a high energy particle experimentalist who researches neutrinos—subatomic particles with masses close to zero. Specifically, she tries to understand how neutrino-nucleon interactions affect measurements of neutrino oscillation. Animated and energetic, Dr. Mahn was the perfect guest for an early Monday morning. Over bagels and coffee, she shared not only enthusiastic stories about her career in physics, but also answered our graduate and undergraduate student questions with some pretty incredible advice.

On deciding to stay in academia after undergrad: “I thought to myself, I should stay in science if there are scientific questions that get me out of bed in the morning. I decided there were at least three.”

On transitioning into post-doctoral studies: “You’re not going to be a rockstar right out of the gate. Give it six months to a year to adjust to any situation, and spend that time gathering information.”

On presenting: “Outline that mess, draft by hand, and don’t start with a blank set of PowerPoint slides.” Dr. Mahn also recommended  Swedish author David J.P. Phillips TedX Talk, called “How to Avoid Death by PowerPoint”.

On worrying about whether you’re learning what jobs need you to know: “They’re looking for people who are genuinely excited about the problem and would fight to the death to solve it.”

On finding research and job opportunities: “It’s important to be putting your name out there in a respectful, simple way.”

On working and learning in competitive environments: “Decide what you need for you, and it’s okay not to care about anything else.”

On getting up every morning: “Pick things that make you happy and build them into your life.” For Dr. Mahn, that means finding the time for “good food and good people.”

Regardless of your field of study or where you are in your academic career, Dr. Mahn’s words of wisdom are relevant: take things on with genuine excitement, be honest with yourself, and find time for good food and good people in your life.

image via Columbia Physics



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img September 19, 20185:30 pmimg 3 Comments

i love when butler jazzes up its ~bathroom aesthetic~

Recently, we’ve noticed a new addition to the Butler bathrooms on the second floor: these weird little gray tables, attached to the stall walls. Apparently, they’re called “utility shelves,” but I feel like that just makes the whole situation even weirder.

That being said, these tables could be useful. Indeed, the possibilities are endless! We here at Bwog, in the interests of the greater Columbia community, devised some possible uses of these “utility shelves”:

  • Butler bathroom mini bar
  • Use it as a convenient handle for bathroom stall sex
  • Store your addy
  • Use it as a dead drop location for surreptitious drug test urine swaps
  • Rest your head on it to cry as you have a breakdown 5 hours into a butler study session
  • Use it to store and exchange erotic poetry with your butler stacks lover
  • Serve and eat a five course meal off of it
  • Install a posthumous shrine to bored@butler
  • Dissect the rats I’m sure live somewhere in Butler
  • Do cocaine off of it
  • Spruce ur bathroom stall up with a potted cactus

Hope we gave you some good ideas – get crackin, folks!

I can’t believe I just finished this article with the phrase “Get Crackin, Folks!” via Bwogger



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img September 19, 20181:24 pmimg 0 Comments

Pictured: Possibly one GS student?

In the second exciting meeting of the General Studies Student Council, Acting Dean of Students Ivonne Rojas dropped by as a guest speaker for a Q&A, followed by the interview and appointment of nominees to the council! Brand spanking new GS bureau chief Andrew Chee brings you the exhilarating run down of all the nominees!

Q&A with Dean Rojas

In her second ever GSSC meeting, Dean Rojas gave a quick run through of her unbridled love for GS, summarizing her past as an admissions officer and student advisor, while also overseeing the dual BA program with Science Po and Trinity College. Her near future plans as Acting Dean include working on food insecurity and mental health, as well as emphasizing the success of the grad school coaching program. Clearly, she is all about supporting students while they are here in undergrad and after they graduate as well!

The Q&A revolved completely around the topic of food insecurity and what Student Life was doing to address it. Dean Rojas and Assistant Dean Sean Trulby stated that, in addition to existing initiatives, new ideas being discussed included attempts to make food insecurity programs more accessible – how could the school make students more comfortable in asking for help? Other goals floating around included expanding vouchers to even more restaurants and grocery stores, and an emergency stipend for immediate funds for unexpected emergencies and situations.

Updates, candidates, and more after the jump!



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img September 18, 20185:38 pmimg 0 Comments

On Monday evening, Víctor Mora Gaspar from the Autonomous University of Madrid spoke (in Spanish) at Barnard College about the suppression of homosexuality and all queer identities during Spain’s dictatorship in the mid-1900s. New Bwogger Isabel Ocampo attended the event titled, “Ciencia, Política y Sexo,” or “Science, Politics, and Sex,” for those non-multilinguals out there.

The prettiest poster these events have put out in a looooong time

Disclaimer: my Spanish comprehension skills have weakened over the summer, so I anticipated some difficulty understanding the presentation by Víctor Mora Gaspar, given that it was completely in Spanish. Nonetheless, I made attending a priority given that the title touched on two of my favorite topics (hint: science is not one of them), planning to grasp the majority of the event after five years of studying Spanish. I understood less than I hoped and spent most of the evening uncomfortably laughing and nodding on cue with everyone else without fully registering what was so hilarious or profound. Thankfully, Mora Gaspar included pictures (with text!) to break down some of the details for students like myself, and a woman I met during orientation, who is mostly fluent in Spanish, sat next to me and gave me a brief recap at the end. Turns out those “friends” you made during NSOP can be good to keep around. So with these helpful aides and the short phrases I was able to pick up, I did piece together a summary of the suppression of queer people in Spain under the Franco regime.

Mora Gaspar introduced the presentation with a mantra to keep in mind throughout the rest of his talk: we need to understand political conditions to in order to understand the culture. When Francisco Franco rose to power as a dictator in Spain in 1939, he brought comparably conservative views for the time with him, stigmatizing non-traditional gender roles, homosexuality, and unconventional gender expression. Before Franco’s arrival, the Spanish population accepted most queer identities. Afterward, publicly engaging sexually or romantically with someone of the same sex, or vocalizing one’s sexual orientation as something other than heterosexual, became a national crime leading to the incarceration of queer people. Later in Franco’s dictatorship, people committing homosexual acts would be tortured in correctional facilities to “fix” their gayness, much like conversion therapy still operating in the United States today.

more after the jump!-



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img September 17, 20185:49 pmimg 1 Comments

The young, hot professor you’re inexplicably and ashamedly attracted to

We all have guilty pleasures and sometimes that guilty pleasure is the only reason we run to 8:40 lectures. Bwog Finance takes a stab at the pros and cons of having hot professors.

Benefit: Your attendance is impeccable. You always go to class and you’re extremely punctual.

Cost: You can never pay attention in class. Instead, you count how many times you make eye contact. You fantasize what it would be like if this professor knew your name. If maybe, by some odd chance of the universe, they led your discussion section and you could impress them with your elementary takes on anthropology.

Benefit: You are motivated to attend office hours just to get some one-on-one time.

Cost: The amount of readings you’ll have to actually do is ridiculous. You can’t just bullshit your way through office hours – you need specific lines from the text, close readings of the 200 pages you usually skimmed or frankly ignored. You’ve got to impress them with questions like, “How do we reconcile…” or “Aren’t these innately combative ideologies?”

Benefit: As a modern student, you are well versed in the practice of Googling someone’s name. You find your professor’s Facebook with a profile picture from 2012.

Cost: You find your professor’s Facebook with a profile picture from 2012.

Benefit: You’re extremely fascinated by the content they produce. You’ve never been more invested in research.

Cost: The research you’re doing is lurking through your professor’s Instagram. The only content on it is three to eight overly-filtered vignette photos, the most recent posted on August 3, 2014 with their spouse. Real cost: heartbreak.

My hot professor is more like Indiana Jones via Bwog Archives


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