Author Archive

Mar

27

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This is honestly the cutest little drawing ever.

Today is Book Culture’s 20th birthday! A whopping happy birthday from Bwog! Maybe next year once you turn 21 we’ll take you out for some drinks.

Head on down to their 112th location at 7 pm for a panel discussion about the ins and outs of academic publishing to celebrate. While we can in no way confirm that there will be cake, we sure hope there will be… (*wink wink* Book Culture, are you reading?)

xoxo,

Bwog

Adorable book drawing via John Trumbull Primary School

Mar

27

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The room where Barnard students’ futures will be decided…

Although Bwog has traditionally covered Columbia Housing in great detail (with up-to-date Google Docs spreadsheets and liveblogs), we’ve never extended similar coverage that system’s somewhat more confusing sister: Barnard Housing. This year, Barnard Housing takes place on three days: rising senior selection is on Friday, March 24, rising junior selection is on Tuesday, March 28, and rising sophomore selection is on Friday, March 31. With junior selection quickly approaching tomorrow, we are providing a brief overview of all of the prime Barnard Housing options currently remaining.

110:

  • Currently remaining: Almost everything, as all that’s been picked so far are studio singles and a couple of one single, one double suites. So, you’re looking at: nine more studio singles, ten studio doubles, three studio triples, two single-double suites, eight two-double suites, three double-triple suites, four three-double suites, and a few options to pick into a suite (in groups of two or four).
  • Bwog’s recommendation: Sharing a triple as an underclassman may seem demeaning, but 110 triples are huge – a whopping 25 by 13 feet. The N1 triple-double suites are a great option for groups of five who really like each other but just couldn’t find a sixth person to even out their suite number.
  • How long will this dorm last? Well into junior day, if not well into sophomore day. 110’s slightly far walk, odd suite numbers, and eccentricities tend to keep potential tenants at bay.

600:

  • Currently remaining: Pretty much everything – five studio doubles, eight doubles within suites, one single-double suite, three two-double suites, two sets of two doubles within suites, and 17 three-double suites.
  • Bwog’s recommendation: Anything on the fifth floor or lower, facing Broadway or 116th (i.e. B, C, or D suites). You’ll want to be on a lower floor to save yourself from 600’s slow elevators, and you’ll want to have windows facing the street to (at least partially) save yourself from inevitable oppressive heat in a dorm without AC.
  • How long will this dorm last? Definitely into sophomore day. So many rising juniors are eager for singles at this point in their college careers that even though 600’s doubles are big, they’ll pick Plimpton over it.

More dorms and more predictions after the jump

Mar

26

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I wouldn’t recommend googling “pregnant giraffe.”

Good Morning, Columbia! The forecast in NYC today is more clouds and drizzle… hopefully warm weather is on its way. And if it’s not, I swear I’m going to fucking lose it. I can’t take this cold anymore. But, don’t fret, because regardless of the weather, we still have today’s bwoglines! Check ‘em out.

Happening in the nation: As of yesterday, South Carolina joins Oregon, Gonzaga, and UNC in the Final Four! For those of you who are confused, this is about basketball, that game with the squeaky sneakers and bouncy orange ball.

Happening in NYC: Over the weekend, an apartment fire in the Bronx turned into a police investigation when firefighters found over 10 pounds of weed. Apparently the building super (a 65 year old man!) had been growing in the apartment building basement for years.

Happening on campus: There are so many cool events today! I personally think About Abortion: Book Launch and Panel Discussion, Center for Gender and Sexuality Law looks extremely interesting. It’s from 5:30-7:30 in Jerome Greene Hall room 106. Check out our bucketlist to see all the great events this week.

Overheard: I’m honestly torn between “I’m so anti pre-med that I’m post-med” (overheard in the St. Luke’s emergency room) and “Doesn’t BYOB mean bring your own bag? Like at Trader Joe’s?” They’re both just so great.

Check out this livestream of a pregnant giraffe. 

Image via Alamy

Mar

26

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Quad ain’t so bad! It’s that meal plan you (may) have to worry about.

More housing reviews for the Barnard babes! This time it’s Hewitt (the dorm, not the dining hall). Check out this thorough review and get yourself ready for the utter ruthlessness that is room selection. 

Location: Barnard Quad (3009 Broadway)

Nearby dorms: Reid, Brooks, Sulz, Sulz Tower (in the same building); 600, 616, 620, Claremont, etc. (right across the street)

Stores and restaurants: Anything and everything you could ever imagine… just walk out onto Broadway. You know what’s there: MoWill, Vine, Sweetgreen, Nussbaum, Community, Bernheim, Starbucks, even food trucks!

Cost: $11,038 for singles, $9,510 for multiple occupancy rooms (tentative!)

Amenities:

  • Bathrooms: One female-only and one gender-inclusive bathroom per floor. You’re also on the same floor as Sulz/Reid/Brooks bathrooms, which add up, so you have plenty of bathroom options. All are cleaned daily by facilities.
  • AC/Heating: No AC. Yes heat.
  • Kitchen/Lounge: Each floor shares a lounge with Reid, Sulz, and Brooks. Lounges are spacious and include a kitchenette with a stove, oven, and microwave. Each lounge also has 2 large tables, several chairs/couches, and a TV.
  • Laundry: 1 washer/dryer set per floor in Brooks, 2 washers and dryers per floor in Sulz. The 8th floor of Sulz also has a lot more washers and dryers.
  • Gym: Barnard has one gym in the basement of Barnard Hall, a short walk away that only takes you outside briefly.
  • Intra-transportation: 1 elevator within Hewitt (sometimes working, sometimes broken), and 2 stairwells that are not often used. Five additional elevators throughout the quad (Brooks and Sulz).
  • Hardwood/Carpet: Hallways feature strangely patterned carpeting (see gallery below). Rooms have linoleum. It’s fine, not fancy, but easy to clean.
  • Wifi: The Wonderful (Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad, But It’s All There Is) Barnard Secure.

There’s more to love at Hewitt

Mar

26

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we’re the groolest club on campus

Bwog… How do I begin to describe Bwog? Bwog is flawless. They have two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus. I hear their hair is insured for $10,000. I hear they do car commercials in Japan. One time they punched me in the face… it was awesome.

Want to be fetch? Come to Lerner 505 at 7pm for Bwog’s meeting tonight. And yes, you can sit with us.

the plastics via youtube

 

Mar

25

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It’s a Thursday morning–you’ve already slept through your 10:10 (whoops), and you’re in need of some nourishment. You roll into John Jay at around 11, half-asleep and seeking an egg white omelet, and you’re immediately greeted by Yung Berg shouting/growling, “SE-XY! CAN! I!”

It’s a jarring experience–serving yourself some cereal as Drake croons, “I’m trying to lay you down, down, down…,” or sipping coffee to Ciara’s “Body Party.” One Bwogger raised the possibility that John Jay simply shuffles a “slow jams” playlist in the morning, but that doesn’t explain why another Bwogger heard them playing Rihanna’s “Birthday Cake” while waiting in the egg line.

If you’re trying to get in the mood (for John Jay breakfast or for some physical intimacy), check out our playlist below:

Mar

24

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The Barnard Admissions department welcoming the class of 2021!

Congratulations to a new class of Barnard students! Earlier this afternoon, Barnard sent out its decisions to regular decision applicants of the class of 2021. Barnard received a total of  7,716 applications this year – an eight percent increase from last year – and accepted a total of 1,139. This brings the college’s admission rate down to 14.8%, the lowest in Barnard’s history and down a full 10 percentage points from only three years ago.

The students in this class hail from 47 states and 39 countries. They will be the second class to study under Barnard’s new Foundations curriculum, which places a focus on technology, international learning, and the importance of empirical reasoning.

“These students embody the Barnard spirit—brimming with passion, curiosity, academic excellence and the desire to make a difference in the world,” Dean of Enrollment Management Jennifer Fondiller said about this class.

Admissions officers and attendant swag via Barnard Admissions Facebook page

 

Mar

24

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As we’ve learned, after a scandal involving pipe breakage and flooding and such-and-such and a brief stint as John Jay Jay’s/VaJJ, JJ’s is coming back in full force to its cozy home in the cellars of John Jay today at 5 pm. While we remain unsure as to the exact progress of this operation, we must hold to the assurance that the John Jay staff is moving slowly and steadily to the beat of Drake’s heartrending “Hold On We’re Going Home” (2013), patiently preparing the ingredients that so compose our late-night pleasures.

Mar

23

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A shitty graphic for shitty boys.

We know you’ve all thought it. Which dorm your current hookup lives in says a lot about his relative sadboy- or fuckboy-ness. Whether he’s a Carman athlete, a Furnald poet, or a Wein loner, the stereotypes hold true more often than not. After all, what’s a stereotype without a little bit of truth? Read on for our definitive spectrum of Columbia dorms. 

EDIT, 3/24/17, 12:55 am: The section on Carman has been changed from discussing specifically Sigma Phi Epsilon boys to instead refer to frat boys in general. This section was not intended to trivialize nonconsensual sex, as Bwog recognizes that this is a very serious issue on college campuses nationwide (including at Columbia). Also, SigEp’s leadership would like to make it clear that they do not condone sexual assault of any kind, and that hard alcohol being served at fraternities is against both their national policy and Columbia policy.

Wallach

Ranking as the most sadboy dorm at Columbia is Wallach. These boys are so sad, actually, that you may not even know a single goddamn person that even lives in Wallach. You can often find a Wallach sadboy alone in his room, listening to classical music and studying for his Latin exam. A Wallach sadboy only ever ventures outside his dorm to go to class or get dinner at John Jay. You always forget his name even though he’s been in your lit hum for almost a full year, and he’s most definitely a virgin.

Read on to see the rest of the Spectrum.

Mar

22

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“Abandon every hope, who enter here.”

If the fraternities of Columbia were in Dante’s Inferno, what circles of Hell would they be in? Bwog has all the answers.

  • Beta Theta Pi: Honestly, Beta represents all of Hell: the quote above the door of the Beta house itself is the inscription over the gates of hell. But realistically, they’re in the Eighth Circle of Hell, in the Fifth Pouch, with sticky tar. This pouch is the literary representation of the basement of Beta house. If you step foot on a particularly bad spot on their floor, you will need to say goodbye to your shoe; it’s gone forever, destined to decorate the basement of the Beta house for eternity as another reminder that they really need to clean that damn floor.
  • Delta Sigma Phi: In order to be accepted into DSig, one needs to be a bourgeoise international prep school kid raised in the elegant cesspools of Oxford and Cambridge so that he could one day go play golf with Donald Trump Jr., Scrooge McDuck, and Judge Whitey from Caddyshack. They belong in the Fourth Circle of Hell for the Avaricious. They’re also bitter because they weren’t quite bougie enough to get into St. A’s, so they could also be in the Fifth Circle of Hell for the Sullen.
  • Sigma Phi Epsilon: Every fraternity is guilty of lust to some extent, but Sig Ep especially so. If you have been to any Sig Ep party ever, you would know without a doubt that they belong in the Second Circle of Hell for the Lustful: there are always around 500 girls and 8 Sig Ep guys, and guys who aren’t in the fraternity are rarely allowed into their parties.
  • Sigma Nu: Sig Nu doesn’t brand itself as an athlete frat, even though the speedos they don at their parties say otherwise, but the consistent smell of rotten chlorine wafting from the basement of their house betrays the truth: Sig Nu is the swimmers’ frat. Hence, they belong in the frozen lake Cocytus at the very bottom of Hell.
  • Alpha Epsilon Pi: Even though AEPi might claim that they are “housed” in a suite in EC, we all know that doesn’t really count as a house. Are they really a frat? Who knows. They’re in the Limbo, in the First Circle of Hell.
  • Phi Gamma Delta: Columbia has rewarded Phi Gamma Delta’s (commonly known as Fiji, and known for highly qualified alums such as Donald Trump Jr., Mike “Fragile Masculinity” Pence, and Neil Gorsuch) degeneracy by evicting them from their brownstone. Addicted to nicotine in the form of the Juul e-cig, and commonly seen daydrinking on a Wednesday, Fiji brothers belong with the epicureans in the Sixth Circle of Hell.
  • Sigma Chi, Kappa Delta Rho: Known mostly as the football frat and the wrestling frat respectively, these fraternities are composed mainly of members who partake in aforementioned sports. Both sports involve a lot of violent bodily contact, so they’re in the Fifth Circle of Hell for the Wrathful, or perhaps the First Ring of the Seventh Circle of Hell, for violence against neighbors.
  • Lambda Phi Epsilon: Lambda is the frat to rush if you’re a frat bro, but like, Asian. Lambda parties are the frat parties that white people feel out of place at, which is something of a paradox. In the 14th century, when Inferno was written, Christianity wasn’t really a thing in Asia, so Lambda belongs with the virtuous pagans in the First Circle of Hell, the Limbo. They have something of a reputation for hazing, however, so they could also belong with Sig Chi and KDR in the Seventh Circle of Hell for violence against neighbors.
  • Zeta Beta Tau: They say they’re a fraternity, but there doesn’t seem to be much evidence for this. They don’t have a house, and the only evidence of their existence is the occasional ZBT jacket you see around. They’re with AEPi in the Limbo.
  • Pi Kappa Alpha: ???? Who??

Welcome to Hell via Bwog Staff

Mar

21

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Sulz Tower appears phallic, doesn’t it?

For this round of housing reviews, we take you back to your earliest Barnard days in the quad. Remember how fantastic it felt to have AC if you were in Sulz your first year? It’s like that, but better.

Location: The Barnard Quad, 3009 Broadway

  • Nearby dorms: The rest of the Quad (Hewitt, Reid, Brooks, and Sulzberger), the 600s
  • Stores and restaurants: Morton Williams, Halal carts, M2M, Sweetgreen, Starbucks

Cost:

  • Double: $9,510
  • Single: $11,038
  • Note: These numbers have not been approved by the board of trustees and are therefore subject to change.

More on Sulz Tower after the jump

Mar

21

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Cathedral Gardens

Having a hard time trying to figure out where to live next year? Bwog is looking out for you with housing reviews of Barnard and Columbia dorms! In this review, Bwog presents a CG suite!

Location: 217 Manhattan Ave

Nearby Dorms: None. CG is basically sandwiched between two beautiful parks: Morningside Park and Central Park.

Stores and Restaurants: A lot of liquor stores, many grocery stores, Starbucks, delis open late into the night: everything that your little heart could possibly desire.

Cost: Depends on if you’re in a single or double and also based on demonstration of need and financial aid.

More on Cathedral Gardens

Mar

20

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Really going wild this spring break.

And we back, bitches! Bwog hopes you had a warm, wet, and wild spring break! Here’s just a little taste of what we were up to…

Warm

  • Went to Florida with friends like a cliché college student and got a sunburn the first day like a typical white.
  • Lounged in Vondelpark chain-smoking joints under the afternoon sun.
  • Got hella burned in Miami, which turned into a very nice tan until my entire chest and shoulder area peeled.
  • Was thousands of miles away from the NYC blizzard.

Wet

  • Gave numerous bodily fluids (pee, blood, puke) to the Atlantic Ocean.
  • Lied about liking beer.
  • ​Didn’t drink a drop of alcohol this Spring Break. Oops?
  • Didn’t get rained on by a drop of water (or snow) this Spring Break. Not oops.
  • Finally went skinny dipping.
  • Successfully *didn’t* fall into an Amsterdam canal.

Wild

  • Played Paranoia (drinking game) and found out all my friends think I’m most likely to get knocked up first. (Good reminder to take my birth control! yikes!)
  • Spent one night in a NYC hotel, got Chinese food delivered straight to the door, ate it naked in bed while watching Rushmore. Truly the height of luxury.
  • Did psychedelics for the first time. Highly recommend.
  • Was not sober for a single 24-hour period between Thursday March 9th and today (Monday March 20th).
  • Showed up to the airport drunk to fly to Miami.
  • Had a very fun St. Patrick’s Day when I woke up with a wicked hangover. But, my friend dragged me to Mel’s where between me and two Fiji boys we finished two whole pitchers of beer.
  • Saw the parade and drank more at an Irish pub in Midtown where I danced with a very energetic (and cute!) Irishman (like, FROM from ireland, visiting New York).
  • Saw our lord and savior, Tim Tebow, God’s favorite son, in person.
  • Held someone’s snake.
  • Got locked out of my Airbnb within two hours of arriving.

Photo via me, bitch.

Mar

20

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Did you get down and dirty on Miami Beach too?

We want your Spring Break pictures! Whether you got down in Cabo San Lucas, traversed the streets of Paris, or stayed home, Bwog is invested in your good times and bad. To celebrate the relaunching of our social media platforms, Bwog has organized a giveaway.

We will be judging based on humor, creativity, and aesthetics in order to award a Pinkberry gift card to the winner. Runner-ups as well as the winner will be featured on our revamped instagram this week.

Spring break might be over but Spring, technically, is only starting. Just because we are entering phase two of midterms, does not mean we can’t reminisce on the last week of revelling and regrets.

May the odds be ever in your favor!

 

Photo via iStock.

Mar

20

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I watched this video for over 15 minutes and still understood nothing.

Welcome back, Columbia! We hope you had a great spring break full of sun, booze, and relaxation! Or, if you stayed in NYC instead, we hope you survived the blizzard and didn’t get too sick of John JJ’s. Either way, time to check back in with today’s Bwoglines.

Happening in the nation: Today, FBI Director James Comey will be speaking before the House Intelligence Committee regarding President Trump’s wiretapping allegations. Emphasis on “allegations.” Because he has no proof. *sigh*

Happening in NYC: Jimmy Breslin, long-time famous NYC newspaper columnist, died yesterday in his Manhattan home. Breslin had won the 1986 Pulitzer Prize for Commentary, despite not always being NYC’s most agreeable voice.

Happening on campus: Today’s the day, Columbia: housing lottery numbers come out. May the odds be ever in your favor. Check the housing portal for your fate… and stay tuned for Bwog’s infamous housing reviews, coming up soon.

Overheard: “What’s worse: John JJ’s or straight guys?”

Get trippy: Over break I went on a wild trip and ended up watching YouTube videos on mandelbrots. This was my favorite.

 

Image and video via Mathologer

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