Author Archive

Nov

28

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Athena would be proud

While all of us were gearing up for Thanksgiving break last Tuesday, Barnard announced the fall Phi Beta Kappa inductees from the class of 2018. The list this year is particularly short; only thirteen students. Congratulations to these seniors!

  • Megan Cerbin (Spanish and Latin American Cultures)
  • Milena d’Ornano (Political Science)
  • Allison Hand (Psychology & Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality)
  • Lauren Hayashi (Environmental Science)
  • Doha Tazi Hemida (Asian and Middle-Eastern Cultures & Religion)
  • Aliza Holstein (Psychology)
  • Rebecca Jedwab (Economics)
  • Ana Shindell (Anthropology)
  • Danielle Silber (Psychology)
  • Kyra Spence (English-Writing)
  • Teresa Tracy (Political Science & Spanish and Latin American Cultures)
  • Erin Low Li Wen (Philosophy)
  • Lingke Xiao (Economics)

Barnard’s favorite statue via Barnard’s website

Nov

21

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One of the things we’re thankful for: the velour track suits sold at the campus store

As is our tradition at the beginning of Thanksgiving Break, Bwog has compiled a list of the many things we’re thankful for this fall, ranging from parents to booze to cats. Comment what you’re thankful for below, if you feel so inclined – this is the last chance you’ll get to comment on one of our posts before Monday.

People

  • Big hugs from people who genuinely care about you
  • The fact that my relationship with my father has improved to the point where I’m actually looking forward to spending Thanksgiving at his house.
  • My therapist
  • The 110 security guards
  • All the people who have gone out of their way to make me feel super welcome here
  • Buds who will drop what they’re doing to take you to the doctors
  • The friends who pulled me out of a lake
  • My girlfriend
  • Finn’s roommate’s cat
  • People who comment on my fanfiction years after it was published
  • My succulents that have survived
  • The people who work at Ferris
  • My dog still being alive even though she’s 15
  • Family
  • My Lit Hum teacher/Lit Hum in general
  • Mutual crushes
  • Hand holding
  • All the first-years who’ve joined student groups I’m in & the enthusiasm they bring
  • My roommate
  • The fact no one from my high school goes here, so I never have to see any of those people again
  • Subway musicians
  • Best friends and new friends
  • My mom

Places & Things after the jump!

Nov

21

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How seniors dispersed wisdom before Bwog

Do you know a senior who did something monumental during their time at Columbia? A senior who went above and beyond to make their club or organization memorable? A senior who can always cheer you up with a hug or a bad pun? A senior who is graduating at the end of this semester?

If you know anyone who fits any of those above descriptions (but mostly the last one), they’re the kind of person we might want to give a Senior Wisdom. For first-years, transfer students, and any other folks new to Bwog: Senior Wisdoms are a series of short interview-type posts with graduating seniors in which they, well, share their wisdom. Take a look at some past examples if you want to get a better idea.

To nominate someone, hit us up with their name, school, uni, and a brief description explaining why you think they deserve a Senior Wisdom. Email us at tips@bwog.com or use our anonymous form. Remember that we are currently only accepting nominations for seniors who are graduating at the end of this (fall 2017) semester. The deadline is Friday, December 8 at 11:59 pm.

Wisdom via Wikipedia

Nov

18

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January 26 will forever be known as the date this Columbia student penned a true masterpiece of Western literature and humanities.

Beethoven, Sappho, Liszt, Mozart, move over. A Columbia Yelp reviewer has come to town.

As I was browsing Yelp reviews of JJ’s the other day, I discovered that a Columbia student had written a song about JJ’s in the reviews section. Yep. I’m….speechless. The song is to the tune of “No More Parties in LA” by Kanye West, and it utilizes such a sublime flow and lyricism that is to this date unparalleled by even Sappho herself. Honestly, what more can I say about it? The full lyrics are included below, as well as the song “No More Parties in LA” to give you an idea for the melody.

No more parties in JJ’s

Please, baby, no more parties in JJ’s, uh
No more parties in JJ’s
Please, baby, no more parties in JJ’s., uh
No more (John Jay)

Hey baby you forgot your french fries
Not cooked in peanut oil like Five Guys’
It was more than soft porn for the K-man
Hacked my diet like when I was selling them Rayban
Kashi no subete wo tabete, ureshikatta
On that air hockey table, I’m gonna play.
Gotta steal all them freshie swipes; they gonna pay
And I guess I can say hi to Iris, along the way.

Scary
Scary
No more parties in JJ’s
Please, baby, no more parties in JJ’s

So you pregamed ya pregame
Drinks before noon JJ’s soon there is no shame
Going straight for the mozzarella sticks
And foosball scores three meals a day hat tricks.

I am here waiting for the ghost of Kerouac
Just to tell him when you near my fortune cookies, step back.

I just keep on lovin’ you, baby
And there’s no one else I know who can take your place

Nov

18

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The crime scene in question. This is what I saw when I opened my SSOL wishlist.

We’re gonna keep this short. I’ve had a lot of scary experiences this week: a Gulati pop quiz, spilling orange juice in my bag, tripping on College Walk. But on Thursday, I encountered perhaps the scariest thing of all. Class registration.

As a freshman, my fall registration experience was less than stellar – but my spring registration experience was even worse. Coming in, I had a 12:30 pm registration time. With no context, I had known that 12:30 pm wasn’t the earliest time, but I didn’t think it was the worst ordeal either. I was wrong.

On registration day, I woke up at 8 am, carefully checking and double-checking and triple-checking that my SSOL wishlist was just right. I had three alternative LitHum sections, three UWriting sections, and a ton of other backup classes lined up. I’m so excited to register for these amazing courses! I, at that time only a naive and smol girl, thought to myself.

12:15 pm rolled around, and I leisurely opened my laptop at the tables outside Ferris. I checked SSOL, and then I saw it. Every single one of my classes was full.

Panic washed over me, and I internally screamed, as I instantly opened CULPA, Vergil, RateMyProfessor, EZACU, and the Class of 2021 Facebook to cross-check professors, in the process stress-eating the three Ferris red velvet cookies I had originally saved for later. The task was hopeless; my efforts were for naught. Every single UWriting class that had a professor assigned was already full. Only three or four LitHum sections were available to be switched into.

I wish I could provide you with a happy ending, and tell you that it all ended OK and that I’m OK, but I’m not. My only comfort during these dark, dark times is that I can shed light on my experience, and perhaps prepare you, my reader, for the absolute tomfoolery that is class registration. Good luck, and godspeed.

Nov

18

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I don’t what the fuck this is/means, but this is what came up when I searched “no thanks” on Google. So you’re welcome.

With the onslaught of Thanksgiving, Bwog baby Idris O’Neill wanted to give thanks, or rather a no thanks, to all those Columbia men that ask girls to be part of their threesome fantasies. Here are her thoughts.

For the second time in a month, I was asked to be a part of a threesome. I don’t know what it is about being a Barnard first year that entices these men, but I promise I don’t believe in the “Barnard girls to bed, Columbia girls to wed” thing. I aspire for that ring too, goddammit. This one is for all the Barnard women who find themselves confronted with that awkward “you, me, her” (or him or them) suggestion, but were not adequately prepped by Foundations for it.

  1. “I have to go – I have to swipe into JJ’s before 1 am.”
  2. “This isn’t a Bechdel-passing interaction.”
  3. “I have to consult Athena first.”
  4. “I’m not sure which one of you I would call ‘daddy.’”
  5. “These chastity gates are closed.”
  6. “This threesome isn’t very diverse. I’d prefer my sexual interactions to look like the cover of an admissions pamphlet.”
  7. “Let’s unpack the gender politics of this.”
  8. “There’s more men in this interaction than I’d like in my life, ever.”
  9. “I’m concerned about how performative my bisexuality will appear.”

Get out of my life please via Pixabay

Nov

17

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What to caption this
That is only thirteen words?
Whoops. Made a haiku.

Last week in this indie publication called The New York Times, users submitted stories to the Modern Love column. The catch: they were only thirteen words long. We gave this exercise a stab with some Columbia-inspired shorts. 

 

We met at 1020, even though you don’t go here. Now we’re inseparable.

~

He had an essay due, yet texted me back anyway. Not for long.

~

Word of advice: don’t bang someone in your Lit Hum class.

~

We hit it off at 1020, then you whisked me away to Juilliard.

More stories after the break.

Nov

11

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You, screaming with joy after reading this list of exciting new classes to take this spring!

 

Spring registration starts *gasp* Monday. If you’ve been frantically checking CULPA slash Vergil slash EZACU, look no further. Here are Bwog’s top picks for classes to take this spring. Feel free to leave your own recommendations in the comments!

Art History: Jonathan Reynolds, Modern Japanese Architecture

“Don’t let the heavy reading load or 4000-level course number scare you – the course is totally doable with no prior art history knowledge, and Prof. Reynolds is one of the nicest and most interesting professors I’ve ever had.  Basically, take this if you’re a weeb.”

Biology: Hilary Callahan, Plants and Profits: The Global Power of Botany

“Professor Hilary Callahan (the Barnard bio department’s resident plant lady) is teaching a really cool new lecture/lab class on plant conservation that’s going to involve trips to the NY Botanical Garden!”

Core/English: Austin Graham, The 1960s; Lit Hum

“Take anything by Professor Thomas Austin Graham. He is an amazing professor; I had him for Lit Hum and miss him very much.”

Wow, thanks Bwog! What else should I take this spring?

Nov

9

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First, we had Wall Street Journal’s 2018 college rankings. Then, we had Yelp. Now, Bwog has discovered perhaps the most comprehensive, thorough mechanism to truly and fairly evaluate our school – Google reviews.

Need I say much more? Columbia’s Google reviews are poppin’, having amassed around 900 individual weird, head-scratching, sometimes raunchy critiques. Procrastinate with the full list of reviews here, or check out some of the highlights I’ve compiled below!

Nov

3

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Columbia to the Met: the most pleasant 45-minute walk of your life

Fall break is already well underway, and many of us are eager to get out of the city for the long weekend. But if your’e not – if you’re stuck in this mouse-infested, temperature-inconsistent place for the next few days, how can you make the most of it? Here are some of Bwog’s suggestions:

  • Rush a Broadway show.
  • Walk to the Met through Central Park.
  • Go for an absurdly long bike ride.
  • Walk across a bridge (Brooklyn, Manhattan, Williamsburg, George Washington – any bridge will do.)
  • Go to the movies.
  • Explore a new borough.
  • Wash your sheets.
  • Cheer on the NYC marathoners (you might just see Karlie Kloss!)
  • Go to the Instragamable food place you’ve been telling yourself you’d go all year and haven’t been yet. Options include Do, Black Tap, the gelato place that does flowers, etc.
  • Get your aura read.
  • Watch the new season of Stranger Things.
  • Go thrift shopping in Brooklyn. (L Train Vintage, Urban Jungle.)
  • Go to the Bronx Zoo and/or New York Botanical Garden (they’re right next to each other!)
  • Redo your town in Animal Crossing.
  • Catch up on that class you’ve skipped for the past two weeks.
  • Go to Trader Joe’s (or Fairway!) on Monday and experience normal, healthy grocery shopping (compared to Sunday nights).
  • Get a tattoo.
  • Bake a pie.
  • Clean your room and get rid of all the stuff from the beginning of the beginning of the semester.
  • Learn how to pick a lock.
  • Go to a museum/attraction that’s free with CUID.
  • Stay in your bed for one full day.

And with this, we’re out for the next few days. Get some sleep, Columbia! And if you do anything particularly fun or exciting, tell us about it.

Nov

2

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“Awakening Our Democracy: Free Speech on Campus” was a panel that took place yesterday, Wednesday, November 1st at Columbia Journalism School. Bwoggers Aliya Schneider and Kiana Taghavi attended the event. Read what they have to say, and check out some photos.

On Wednesday, the Office of University Life hosted a conversation with moderator Jami Floyd (WNYC host and legal and media commentator) and panelists Jamal Greene (Columbia Law School Dwight Professor of Law), Suzanne Nossel (PEN America Executive Director), and Tanya Hernandez (Archibald R. Murray Professor of Law, Associate Director, Center on Race, Law and Justice at Fordham Law School). Four student organizations – Students of Color Association, Engineering Student Council, CU Speak, and White Coats 4 Black Lives – co-sponsored the event. Executive Vice President of University Life Professor Suzanne Goldberg introduced the speakers and the purpose of the panel.

The goal of the event was to address overarching concerns around free speech, both on the university’s campus and in the public domain. Questions were submitted by the audience.

(more…)

Nov

1

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One of those serious DJs

Never listened to a WBAR/WKCR show before? Want to? Don’t know where to start? Don’t worry, Bwog’s always looking out for you. Bwoggers, Jenny Zhu and Megan Chew, asked around Bwog and Barnumbia for the best radio shows our university has to offer. Here’s what the people have to say.

WBAR

Barnard Residential Life: Heard great things about Barnard Residential Life, 2 to 4am on Fridays. The show critiques Barnard Residential Life and Housing through music expression. There’s some controversial commentary about elevators.

Broadway on Broadway: This show is “excellent” and “a wild time”. They play show tunes from 8 to 10am on Tuesdays.

Challo This Time: With one DJ in New York City, one DJ studying abroad in Beijing, and a weekly in-studio guest, Challo This Time reps good times and South Asian tunes. They air from 12 to 2pm on Mondays.

Dead Deli: Airing on Saturdays from 4 to 6pm, Dead Deli plays an array of underground tunes. The DJs described the show as “TMZ meets bandcamp meet Google+”.

Don’t worry, there’s tons more!

Nov

1

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Imagine getting drunk in this beautiful apple orchard

For the average Barnard student, Appletree Deli becomes a crutch that carries them through the highs and lows of college living. Eventually, you might even find yourself on the deli line, trying to choose between a Jack Jack and a Tex Mex. A Barnard Bwogger discusses some of her experiences inside of Appletree.

After walking eleven blocks from 1020, my body starts to really feel the chilling breeze that wraps around the shadowy buildings. I cross my arms to keep the heat inside my jean jacket, regretting my clothing decision. As I walk past a pile of leaves, I refrain from saying, “fall aesthetic” and continue walking toward Plimpton Hall. Before I roll into bed and accept the fact that nursing a hangover will be a part of my morning routine, my eyes dance in the lights that illuminate the hidden gem of Morningside Heights: Appletree Deli.

I nearly trip on myself as I step into the store. I try to play off the fact that I am ridiculously drunk by warmly greeting the person behind the counter making sandwiches. I look up to see the abundant options before me: subs, grilled cheeses, and cheese burgers to help tend to my hungry stomach. I stand behind a guy that appears to be waiting for his order. He turns to look at me, and I attempt to keep my shit together. He strikes up a conversation, talking about this Halloween party he went to with his law school buds: you know, like one of those parties where you have to have facts on-hand for protection. I ask him what his costume is as I try to make sense of a black smudge on his face. He gave me a law school explanation. Figures.

But what about the sandwich?

Oct

31

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Hypothesis: Having a desk aesthetic improves your theses proposal performance.

Two years ago, Bwog celebrated thesis season by compiling a list of ninety-five prospective senior thesis topics that we imagined a Columbia student somewhere in the bowels of Butler might be writing. Today, on the 500th anniversary of Martin Luther nailing the original Ninety-Five Theses (or, the shitpost-that-launched-a-thousand-arguments-about-God) to the door of a church in Wittenburg, we present a brand new list. Good luck to all you seniors working hard on their own theses, and happy Halloween!

1. Bullshit: My Thesis

2. Gone, Baby, Gone: The Rise of Inter-Ethnic Kidnappings in the Post-Colonial Global South

3. Out, Brief Candle! How Long Each Scent of Yankee Candle Takes to Melt

4. Outlets in the Diana Cafe: A case study in resource partitioning and instraspecific competition

5. I.M. GAY: Expressions of Sexuality in 2000’s Chatroom Culture

6. Love and Other Mugs: The influence of Feminism and Erotocism in Post-Modern Pottery

7. Bye, Bye Birdie: How Our Obsession with House Music is Destroying the Song Patterns of Avian Species

8. 50 Shades of Khaki: The Evolution of Modern Men’s Fashion

9. Needle-wise: Are Vaccines to Blame for the Rise in Murderous Clown Plotlines?

10. The Plight of Flight: A Comparative Analysis of Aerodynamic Conspiracy Theories and Government Fear Tactics

11. One Small Step for Man: How Neil Armstrong’s Shoe Size Made Him the First Man on the Moon

You know how many more of these there are after the jump

Oct

31

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Once entering campus, the protesters convened on Low steps.

Students and city residents protested a Columbia University College Republicans event tonight featuring alt-right leader and Pizzagate conspiracy theorist Mike Cernovich, culminating in the alleged arrest of a student protester. This event follows a similar talk by Tommy Robinson, which was met with protests for which several students are now facing disciplinary action.

Hosted by a group called the Liberation Coalition, protesters gathered at 124th and Morningside Avenue, and began marching down Amsterdam towards Columbia at 7:30 pm. To the beat of a drum, the group of protesters engaged in chants such as “Hey Columbia, don’t you know? White supremacy’s got to go,” “No justice, no peace, fuck these racist ass police,” and “Punch a Nazi in the face, every nation, every race.” As they marched, a few local Morningside Heights residents passing by joined in these chants.

As part of its free speech month, CUCR had invited Cernovich to talk about “The Rise of Alternative Media.” In his speech in the Lerner Party Space, Cernovich mostly discussed misreporting and conflicts of interests among reporters for such outlets as CNN and the New York Times and how the “fake news media” is anxious over the rise of alternative media figures such as himself. He also took questions, both from CUCR members and other guests, about his previous statements on women, claims about diversity, and other topics of interest.

In the lobby, the protest group communicated with a few protesters that had already been in Lerner before obstruction of the entrance began.

After reaching Lerner Hall, the protesters were not allowed into the building itself. The protesters instead chanted in the lobby of Lerner for the rest of the protest. In fact, between 8 to 11 pm, Public Safety and NYPD officers barred every Columbia student, whether affiliated with the protests or not, from entering Lerner Hall, unless he or she was a registered attendee of the CUCR event. Students already inside Lerner at the time of the event were barred from entering the Party Space as well; elevators were locked on upper floors, and guards were stationed in stairwells so that only custodial workers and cafeteria staff would have access to the lowest levels of Lerner. Administration had not previously notified students of tonight’s obstructions of Lerner spaces.

Furthermore, according to multiple eyewitness accounts and an attendee of the event itself, one protester was body-slammed and arrested by NYPD and Public Safety at the corner of Lerner Hall and Broadway. The protester, who is believed to be a student, had allegedly taken the phone of a pro-Trump supporter outside of Lerner Hall and ran, before being taken into custody by the police. Witnesses, claiming that they had video of the event and the names of officers, also believe that the arrested protester is currently held at the 26th precinct.

More photos after the jump

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