Columbia Hyperlapse

Our school is so pretty. Thanks, Instagram, and GS student Dan Burkhardt.

Waking Up With Bwog: Weird Wednesday
missed u shutterstock

“Look at all the friends I made, mom!”

After two days of NSOP, you can officially call yourself an old pro at this game. Slug down some OJ and eat away that hangover you still have from Sunday night to prepare for the day that NSOP and your clingy roommate both start to feel overrated. Keep trying to impress everyone with your SAT score and listing the schools you declined to attend Columbia. If you hear someone actually do this, tell us all about it by emailing tips@bwog.com or using our online tip form. This is the day the real whispered confessions come out.

Today’s Highlights:

  • Healthier Heights, Together, 10:30 am-1:30 pm, Lerner Health Ramps. This is listed as required on the NSOP schedule, but we’re guessing nobody is going to miss you, especially Health Services. If you do go, we’re sure you can snag some prizes (condoms.)
  • OL Sibling Dinner, 6:00-8:00 pm, John Jay Dining Hall. Meet some people outside of your college and see what those Barnard girls are all about. Last year CC students got lobster and everyone else got bagged lunch. Flaunt your privilege.
  • Community Forum, 8:00-10:00 pm, Levien Gym. Wear that new t-shirt mom bought you from the bookstore and head over to the only event you’ll experience until graduation with all four colleges in one space. Lots of laughs and forced school spirit.

One Thing To Do Before Graduating:

Find the best bathroom on campus to have a peaceful poop. You will forever be grateful how proactive you were finding that toilet your first couple weeks at Columbia until the day you graduate. Pro-tip: the higher you go in Butler, the more pooping privacy you shall find. (Thanks for the advice, Shelby.)

From the Archives: Love can be found in 1020. Robert and Kristine 4ever.

CU, Abbrevs.
Columbia takes these scissors and snip snip snips names into short letters

Columbia takes these scissors and snip snip snips names into a few letters

Pay attention, freshpeople! Soon you’ll be thrust into a world where it seems like everyone speaks in TLA’s. Have no fear though—Bwog’s always posted this little guide to Columbia acronyms and initialisms, and we’ve updated the list for this year. The shrewd freshperson will write these on flashcards and memorize them all before arriving on campus.

The Schools

  • CC – Columbia College.
  • SEAS – School of Engineering and Applied Science. Note the absence of an “s” at the end of “Science” and realize that if you ever call it “Fu” or “Fu Foundation,” your friends will never let you live it down.
  • CE – Columbia Engineering. SEAS is trying to rebrand itself as “CE.” Don’t worry though, it will still be SEAS.
  • GS – General Studies, Columbia’s undergraduate school for “nontraditional” students, people who are usually more worldly than you. Dean Peter Awn explains it best here.
  • BC – Barnard College, the all-ladies college across the street from the main campus.
  • TC – Teacher’s College. They train teachers.
  • JTS – Jewish Theological Seminary. JTS’ List College offers joint degrees with Barnard and GS, so you’ll probably mingle with these guys.
  • UTS – Union Theological Seminary. Another theological school affiliated with Columbia. Also houses a killer theology library, the biggest one in the Western Hemisphere.
  • SoA – School of the Arts. Offers the MFA degree and, formerly, James Franco.
  • SIPA – School of International and Public Affairs.
  • GSAS – Graduate School of Arts and Sciences.
  • GSAPP – Graduate School of Architecture, Planning and Preservation. Columbia offers landscape design degrees. You can take a class on plants. How bout that?
  • CUSSW- Columbia University School of Social Work for the do-gooders.
  • CUMC – Columbia University Medical Center. Even farther north, this collection of medical and health schools is located up in Washington Heights, about 50 blocks north from the main Morningside Heights campus. Intrepid pre-meds take note.

The Government

  • CCSC – Columbia College Student Council. Represents CC (let’s see how fast you learn) students.
  • ESC – Engineering Student Council for SEAS.
  • SGA – Student Government Association for Barnard.
  • GSSC – General Students Student Council for GS.

The Bureaucracy and more after the jump.

AskBwog: NSOP Edition
Like this but with less food

Like this but with less food

It’s that time of year again…you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers. Send ‘em to tips@bwog.com.

Dear Bwog, 

I am a first year wondering if it is allowed to ship a mini-fridge to school. Also, is there only one fridge allowed in a dorm room? Thank you!

- Hungry in Hamilton

Dear Hungry,

The answer to this question really depends on how many fridges you’d like to bring. One is definitely okay, and two is okay if you’re in a double (i.e., one fridge per person). It’s a good idea to coordinate with roommates, though, since one fridge is probably fine for two people. As a first-year most of your meals will come from the dining halls, so you won’t need as much fridge space as you think. Unless you really like hoarding the sliced cheese from JJ’s place.

Bwog has never heard of one person in a single with more than one fridge, but the restrictions on fridge size and quantity are pretty loose. For example, there’s no need to stick to the Columbia-mandated maximum fridge size of three cubic feet, though we wouldn’t recommend anything above 4.5 cubic feet. You can ship a fridge to the package center in Lerner, even if it’s over the three cubic feet limit. Just make sure to bring your parents, roommate, or some randos you just met during NSOP to help you carry it to your room.

Bottom line, you might be able to get away with bringing four jumbo fridges and having a fridge party, but that’s way more space than you need. Plus, it would be expensive. And speaking of expensive, remember that it’s a lot cheaper to buy your fridge at the green sale! Check them out for lots of discounted, recycled items from the frosh of yore (and by yore we mean last semester). Happy snacking!

xoxo,
Bwog

Read on for tips about DRINKING

Waking Up With Bwog: The First Morning
A first year trying to fall asleep on a Columbia mattress

A first year trying to fall asleep on a Columbia mattress

How was your first night in residence? Loud? Smelly? Pleasant? Tell us EVERYTHING by emailing tips@bwog.com or using our anonymous tip form.

Today’s Highlights:

  • Columbia: Step-Up!, two different session in Roone Arledge Auditorium. Definitely don’t want to miss this one. Sexual assault is a huge, ongoing issue at Columbia. Bwog is very curious about how Step-Up! differs from its predecessor, Keeping Sex Sexy, so please send us your thoughts on it.
  • Columbia: Community Night Out, 10:00 p.m.-1:00 a.m., wherever your R.A. decides. This night out in the city will probably be the nicest interaction you have with your R.A. all year, so treasure it.
  • Barnard: Constellations Love NY, 12:30-5:00 p.m., wherever your Constellation Leader decides. This will probably be the only time you care about your constellation, so treasure it. It’s also a good way to meet the people living around you and make friends.
  • Barnard: Ice Cream Social, 8:45-9:45 p.m., Lehman Lawn. Free ice cream, need I say more?

One Thing To Do Before Graduating: Find the owl in Alma’s robes! Legend has it that the finder of the owl will graduate at the top of their class and become the new Wolf of Wall Street and be blessed with dozens of healthy children (or something). And do it soon, because if you wait too long then this activity will seem boring and dumb.

From the Archives: Every game of Never Have I Ever is the same and they’re all horrible.

Bed of nails via Wikimedia

Move-In Monday
Those balloons, still hanging on

Those balloons are still hanging on

For the young freshlings moving in today, it’s the first Monday of the REST OF THEIR LIVES. Here are the highlights.

Overheards:

“Lots of OLs are getting tipped for moving people in, up to $10 for a family I’ve heard”

“Last night 2 RAs were locked on the roof of Carman Hall by a group of students. The RAs had apparently gone up to remove a bunch of guys who were drinking on the rooftop and somehow got locked up there as then everyone ran away. Public safety showed up a minute later in force and looked like they had someone detained. Not a great way to start the year.”

A first year: “Is it bad that I really want to hook up with my OL?”

Overseens:

(more…)

Classic Bwog: First Night

Here’s an old favorite from NSOP 2006. Send your own first night stories to tips@bwog.com to inspire the freshlings.

It’s your first day at Columbia. Mom and Dad just drove back to New Jersey, and you are ready to celebrate your newfound freedom. But wait. Shit! You’ve heard that Columbia is an awful party school. They say the only fun thing to do here is cocaine, but you don’t want to put anything in your nose. You’re planning on being pre-med; noses are for sneezing.

You want to drink. Well never fear: did you know you can overcome homesickness by drinking? Bwog contributor Will Snider channels this spirit to conjure a typical first night out during Orientation Week. So sit back, relax, and forget everything you learned from alcohol.edu. Remember, you’re pre-med. You know that shit.

10:30pm — Your Floor Meeting just ended. After learning from your RA “what it means to be part of a vibrant campus community,” you’re ready to kill some brain cells. Rob, that sort of sketchy guy on your floor who wears way too much Axe deodorant and brags about being from Buffalo, pulls out a handle of Nikolai vodka and punches you in the stomach saying, “It was made in Kentucky, so you know it’s good.” Someone brings out four shot glasses, and you chase the drinks with the Gatorade your mother bought at Sam’s Club for you. Everyone on your floor comes out to this makeshift party. Suddenly, you begin to think Columbia might not be so socially awkward after all.

10:45pm — Your floormates are now all passed out in the common room. By your seventh call to CAVA the dispatcher knows your name, and you begin to wonder why you didn’t just go to Michigan. So what if it’s a state school? You decide to venture beyond Carman Hall.

11:20pm — After your cousin’s old fake ID is rejected by 1020, Nacho’s [now defunct], the Heights, and even the Abbey (despite seeing what appear to be 12-year-old girls being admitted), you give up and begin to walk back to Carman. Out of nowhere a guy in a polo shirt who reeks of cigarettes and jungle juice assaults you. He slaps you on the ass and tells you to rush Pike—even if you’re a girl. Suddenly you find yourself in a dark room with a sticky floor, surrounded by sweaty men and girls in short skirts, and you realize you’re in a frat house. You didn’t even know Columbia had fraternities. How did all these people get into Columbia? (Hint: they were once just like you. Almost.) At the frat party you squint your eyes to find the keg in the dark.

11:34pm — While in line for the bathroom you see two guys doing lines off a coffee table. You tell them you’ve never seen cocaine before, and they tell you it’s Adderall. Suddenly one of them begins to read Dubliners. You now know what hell feels like. (more…)

Introducing…You

In case you haven’t already figured this out, almost all of your conversations during NSOP are going to consist of exchanging the same boring facts about your life with strangers. You’re stuck cycling through the same intro until you either find something you can make awkward conversation about or you decide not to be friends. Why not expedite the process with our patent-pending NSOP Introduction Cards? Studies show they help freshpeople make up to 12% more friends than our control group. The only things you need to remember now are 1) no one cares about your SAT score and 2) it’s Bwog, not BWOG. Good luck and download a printable PDF here.

business card

Waking Up With Bwog: The First Day
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Glory

If you haven’t already noticed the cheering OLs, herds of lost-looking students, or crying parents, welcome to the first day of NSOP! If you ARE a cheering OL, a herd of lost students, or a crying parent, then you probably already knew that. If you’re interested in writing about anything from your NSOP experience to your weird new roommate to a squirrel you saw eating pizza, email us at tips@bwog.com or use our anonymous tip form.

Today’s Highlights:

  • Convocation, 2:30–4:00 pm, Low Plaza. A great place to overheat while you stress about saying goodbye to your parents. Prepare to feel all warm and fuzzy as you listen to administrators you don’t recognize talk about the importance of Pantone 290. Afterwards, meet your OL groups. You’re guaranteed to be best friends for the next four years.
  • Class Act, 7:00–8:30 pm, Roone Arledge Auditorium. A short little musical that will, somewhat misleadingly, make you feel like you’re in a place that has fun traditions.
  • Late Night Activities, 11:00 p.m.–12:30 am, John Jay lounge/ Carman lounge/ Van Am Quad. At least a marginally good time if you don’t feel like imbibing, or are still not 100% sold on doing anything other than fall asleep.

One Thing To Do Before Graduating: In one of Bwog’s most beloved series, Senior Wisdom, graduating seniors bestow their infinite knowledge upon us. Today, we’re highlighting a snippet of wisdom from Bwog’s own Anna Bahr:

“Let’s keep it seasonal. The swings in Riverside during spring. Mr. Softee during summer. The Cloisters during fall. Coney Island during winter.”

From the Archives: The story of Matilda the Harlem Goat, our almost-mascot and the champion of our hearts. Spend your first day talking about taxidermy goats and make friends for life.

Light of our lives via Shutterstock

DSpar Takes The Ice Bucket Challenge
Splash!

Splash!

As if she weren’t already cool enough, DSpar took the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge at Barnard’s Convocation for the Class of 2018. Watch below, or on Instagram.

Image via Hannah Vega

Send Us Your Stories And We’ll Maybe Give You Pizza
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Magnify by 10,000 for the actual size of a Koronet’s pizza

As the sun sets on the first day of CU move-in 2014, Bwog stalks the streets of Morningside Heights with one mission: to capture the NSOP experience, one misguided overheard/seen at a time. But alas, good people of CU — Bwog only has so many eyes and ears at its disposal! This is where you (and your friends who say stupid things) come in. Here’s how will work:

  1. Send your funny pictures/stories/bits of overheard conversation to tips@bwog.com or, if you’re feeling scandalous, use our anonymous tip form.
  2. We’ll post submissions as they come in.
  3. The winner will be announced after review by expert judges and awarded the MIND-BOGGLINGLY AWESOME prize of: 1 sixpack of your choice and a Koronet pizza (so basically, food for the entire semester)

But wait! There’s more! Sometimes our best/worst/weirdest experiences cannot be done justice by mere quotes or pictures. If you have a story you’re dying to tell, send it to tips@bwog.com. If you attended a quintessentially freshman year Carman party, tell us about it. If you were just disappointed by Columbia nightlife for the first of many times, write about it. If you’re pretty sure you just joined a cult, we would love to hear about it. If you want to tell us about your awkward NSOP moments in person, our first meeting of the semester will be next Monday, September 1 at 7 pm in the SGO (5th floor of Lerner). Stop by if you’d like to hear about getting involved in our nifty publication.

Mind = boggled via Shutterstock

Moving On Up To The Morningside
Festive balloons, just for you!

Festive balloons, just for you!

Welcome, frosh! Today saw the slightly chaotic move-in of Barnard first-years as well as students not from New Jersey CC/SEAS international students and the farthest away domestic students. OLs greeted each car that pulled up to Carman with school-spirit-crazed cheers, Columbia didn’t card anybody for food bags and trays of hot dogs, and all was well. Freshmen: take as much free food and Columbia swag as you can, and enjoy the John Jay food while it’s still pretty good. If you’re interested in writing about anything that happened to you today, please email us at tips@bwog.com. Keep sending us tips of overheards and overseens, too.

The gossip:

  • Like last year, using the word “frat” is forbidden by OLs. Instead, you should say “fraternity and sorority life.” Other banned words include dormitories/dorm (residence halls); freshmen (first-years or new students); girls/boys/kids/babies (women/men); The College (Columbia College/Barnard College); and “the Administration” (specific deans, offices, or services). Some OLs were visibly upset about these rules.
  • Again, NSOP wristbands have a $50 replacement fee. How we miss thee, Rhea Sen.
  • Attendance is actually going to be taken at most mandatory NSOP events this year.
  • Spectator comments on Sombrerogate were used as examples of microagressions in OL training. Also at OL training, an athletics representative tried to pump up a crowd that was rollings its collective eyes about taking sports and school spirit seriously. This year, OL groups can get free party buses up to Homecoming if they really like each other.

Overheard:

Overseen:

Hit the jump to see what move-in day looked like.

Class of 2018 Challenged By Ice Bucket Challenge

According to a tipster, the Class of 2018 Facebook group was issued the following challenge:

COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY CLASS OF 2018 has officially been nominated for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Everyone should assemble next Tuesday, August 26th, at 1:00 P.M. on the Low Library staircase. We will then nominate….I don’t know…Class of 2017? Maybe even University President Lee Bollinger?? LET’S GO!

Skip to 0:37 for the action. Or just wait, it’s only 37 seconds.

Our tipster doesn’t report that anybody picked up on “Low Library staircase” but that :

it got over 120 likes, but the first comment was: “Bro i love your idea and enthusiasm, but coming from California where we’re having a severe drought, it hurts me to see all that water wasted. It’s great that you’re helping bring awareness though” and that got over 40 likes.

Environmental consciousness versus charity and fun, a classic dilemma. What will come of this? Our tipster provides an insightful analysis:

will be interesting to see if kids follow through, but for now i think we can bank on no one going and scratch this as some kids clear way-too-early-push to get his name out to run for office or something of the like.

Indeed. Bwog also hopes that we get to see PrezBo take the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, mostly because we want to test our theory that his bionic hair is impervious to water.

Bwog’s Guide To The Perils Of Packing
Why is this person using an ancient, miniscule suitcase, that's the real question

Why is this person using an ancient, miniscule suitcase, that’s the real question

If you, dear first years, unlike Bwog, have actually decided to properly pack your things and not stuff whatever’s in sight into as many suitcases as you can dig up from the basement, then here are a few tips from Momma Bwog:

Food

  • If possible, bring snacks and things that won’t spoil with you—expect everything in the city to cost at least a dollar or two (or ten) more than it does back home, and that adds up quickly.
  • Despite what the internet says, you will definitely get sick of the dining halls.

Printer

  • Only necessary if you want to do color printing, which is $1.00/sheet from the handful of color printers on campus. Also helpful if you go over your (generous 100 pages/week + 100 floating pages/semester) print quota.
  • Otherwise, it’ll probably just sit on your desk and gather dust, because while you’ll enjoy the luxury of printing from your room for the first few days, once you run out of ink or paper, it’s unlikely that you’ll actually go out and buy more.
  • Just download this program from ADI and you’ll be able to print to any campus printer from your laptop.

Footwear

  • Rain boots, unless you want foot fungus.
  • Shower shoes, because you really don’t want foot fungus
  • You will probably be walking a lot. Plan accordingly.

So many things you don’t know you needed

Neighborhood News
Riverside Church, where the convocation is going to be! Pretty, huh.

Riverside Church, where the convocation is going to be! Pretty, huh.

With this flurry of news about Bacchanal and Columbia’s new Gender-Based Misconduct Policy, you may have missed some recent updates to our community. Not going to lie, they’re not as exciting.

  • Haakon’s Hall, that weird bar you’ve probably never been to, is becoming a gluten-free, farm-to-table restaurant called Friedman’s Lunch. (Crains New York)
  • But maybe we don’t even need restaurants. The Daily Meal ranks Columbia #3 in the country for its food. (Daily Meal)
  • Dean Hinkson announced Barnard is going to have a school-wide convocation ceremony to celebrate the 125th anniversary at the beginning of next year. Anna Quindlen will be giving the key-note speech. (Office Minute)
  • Rising senior Nadia Eke competed in the Common Wealth games, in the “triple jump” event, which sounds incredibly bad-ass. (GoColumbiaLions)
  • Physics professor Janna Levin did a segment for NOVA’s Secret Life of Scientists and Engineers. (NOVA)
  • Student Worker Solidarity is urging Columbia to not to choose the security firm Command Security for their new security contract. Apparently the firm is non-union and has done all sorts of scary things that SWS outlines in their letter, which you can see after the jump.

(more…)