May

11

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Smoulder, Mike, smoulder.

Accepted your fate for that final in an hour? Take some time to read our next Senior Wisdom, featuring Michael Glendinning!

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Michael Glendinning – Columbia College 2017, Neuroscience major.
I’m from New Providence, NJ.

Claim to fame: I was a lead activist for the CU Dems and was an organizer for Columbia Divest for Climate Justice! #divestnow. I also am a world champion dreamer.

Where are you going? I plan on living in NYC and working in a clinical research lab in my gap-years before med school. My friends and I are actually looking for somewhere to move in to after graduation. An affordable 4br apartment somewhere in Northern Manhattan would be convenient and awesome for us. Please let me know if you have any leads!

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?

1) If you are having any legal issues, related to the school or not, go to the Ombuds office!! It is the most underappreciated resource on campus when you’re in a jam, of any kind. They saved my rear end one time and I’ll be forever grateful. And they are super duper nice.

2) I’ve learned that people here in particular have this weird thing hating on New Jersey all the time! As a proud New Jersey native, I am pissed about it and want the facts cleared up on the Internet! Sure the NJ turnpike kind of sucks, and our state politics are sometimes embarrassing. But, only from a truly incredible cultural epicenter could American heroes like Ice-T, Bruce Springsteen, and Jon Bon Jovi have been born. We have, hands down, the greatest beach towns in the entire country, and the best diners too. Where would modern life be without the light bulb, the transistor, and the laser, all of which were invented in NJ! People from New Jersey are also the best looking people in the nation! Class of 2021’ers, if you know what is good for you, you will make a friend or two from The Garden State! You won’t regret it!

3) I’d like to share the H17 with no peppers on ciabatta (+ arugula sometimes) with the Class of 2021. It’s the best sandwich nearby.

More on Mike after the jump

May

11

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Take the good memories with you.

Well Columbia, you’ve almost reached the end of another year here. Whether you had a good year or not, it’s nearly over! 

Bwogline: FBI Director James Comey has been sacked by Donald Trump. Right before Comey began expanding his investigation into Trump’s ties with Russia, President Trump wrote a letter, firing Comey. The most embarrassing part: Comey found out when he was watching the news and thought it was a joke. Ouch. (NY Times)

Study Tip: Alright Columbia, I’ll cut the shit: you’re almost done. You’re so close. If you’re still at school, struggling to memorize random facts or frantically packing to catch your plane, do what you need to do to get it all done. Bwog believes in you, Alma believes in you, so getting your life together must be possible! Just think about lying on a beach somewhere this summer, or hanging out with old friends. It will push you to the end.

Music: Here’s a playlist of songs to end your year off right!

Procrastination Tip: At this point, procrastination would just mean sleeping longer. Set like 15 alarm clocks, rise and grind, get your finals done, and get ready for the summer!

Overseen: Rando in ref giving out free 5 hour energy drinks. Was rewarded with a “fuck spec” sticker in return.

 Image via Bwogger Victoria  Arancio

May

10

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Lookin’ good (and slightly sideways)

Tatini Mal-Sarkar, former ill-informed Bwog advice columnist, charmed her way through Columbia one fried cheese product at a time – and now, she’s here to share some wisdom with you.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Tatini Mal-Sarkar, Columbia College, Sociology and Psychology (after, like, thirteen other departments), proud Midwesterner by way of Cleveland, Ohio.

Claim to fame: I once sent myself a CU Admirers post. It went something along the lines of, “U cute.” Even when hitting on myself, it seems I am not the most creative.  I also wrote a truly terrible advice column. It’s unclear why anyone let me publish it, nor why I’m linking you to the most blatantly fabricated article I ever penned.

Where are you going? Dinner! Just kidding. Actually, after four years of non-stop complaining that people expect me to read and write things, I’ll be continuing to read, write, and complain uptown, studying public mental health at Mailman, Columbia’s public health school.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?

Okay, here’s where I’ll get on my soapbox (I’ve lowkey been drafting this since I first joined Bwog freshman year. Actually, scratch that, I don’t believe in lowkey. I’ve highkey been drafting this for forever.)

Find out what Tatini has to say from her soapbox after the jump

May

10

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The bright smile of someone with bright ambitions

Earlier today, we posted the Senior Wisdom of a campus politician. Now, we’re posting the Senior Wisdom of an off-campus politician: Isabel Rothberg, who dropped out of school for a semester to work on the Clinton campaign.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Isabel Rothberg, CC, *concentration* in political science (ask me about how I had to change my major January of senior year…), Croton-on-Hudson, NY.

Claim to fame: Dropped out of school to work for the first woman to win the popular vote in an American presidential election. Dedicated three wonderful, crazy years of my life to CU Dems. Gave many, many campus tours. Was an annoyingly confident freshman who knew way too much about Columbia (just kidding, I will never apologize for being confident.)

Where are you going? Nothing set in stone yet, but hopefully spending some time outside the east coast liberal bubble.

Advice on friendship, choosing classes, and more after the jump

May

10

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Why are the lines so long at Ferris? Where have the remains of Maggie the Magnolia gone? Why is it still cold even though it’s literally May? The fact that we’re pondering these questions instead of studying for finals means that it’s time for a Dark Night of the Soul. What a strange sad week it’s been.

All photos via Bwog Staff

May

10

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What’s in a chip?

Once, a Facebook group that Lauren Beltrone started while taking a shit went viral. Now, she’s sharing her wisdom – on taking advantage of resources, great bathrooms, and more.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Lauren Beltrone, Barnard, Cognitive Science, Lake Oswego, Oregon

Claim to fame: Creating the fb group “columbia buy sell memes,” being That Cute Boy Chris Beltrone’s sister, walking an incredibly floofy chow chow named Lila, haunting Ferris. Also a graveyard of creative ideas like I’m Too Skinny And Too Many Boys Like Me, Truck Improv, and Drama @ CU.

Where are you going? South Williamsburg bc I am yuppie monster

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?

1) Make Barnard Your Daddy — Barnard wants to please you but sometimes it doesn’t know how. That’s why you gotta tell it what you want. I scammed my way into getting a special major (aka I never had to take a class I didn’t want to), free housing 2 summers in a row (SRI is lit), access to professional film equipment (shouts out IMATS), lots of one-on-one hw help (tysm peer tutors), and a $800 check for a fall internship (grants are real). You can do all these scams too! Just know about your resources and don’t be afraid of paperwork.

Which bathroom is the best on campus, though?

May

10

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We’re unsure what this facial expression is meant to convey

Beta bro and future consultant Mike Starr shares his thoughts on dining halls and Russian literature in today’s next Senior Wisdom.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Mike Starr, CC, Financial Economics and Slavic Studies, the glorious suburb of Avon Connecticut

Claim to fame: I’m famous?

Where are you going? Hanging out in West Virginia and Montana for the summer, then coming back to the city in the fall to find a bar other than 1020 to hang out in and start work in consulting.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?

1) The greatest resource you have at Columbia (and in life) are the people around you. Go out of your way to make and maintain genuine friendships and don’t let the endless bustle of Columbia stop you from keeping up those relationships. Resist your first impressions, and treat every person you meet as a friend. You will be amazed how many fantastic people you will meet every day when you’re not afraid to flash a smile at someone you barely know.

Questioning assumptions and food choices after the jump

May

10

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A propic worthy of several CCSC campaigns

Today’s first Senior Wisdom is from Abby Porter, who has done a lot of policy work and carried a lot of tampons.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Abby Porter, Columbia College, Political Science, Houston, TX

Claim to fame: Got really lucky and made really great friends who got me involved in policy work on campus that I’m proud of. More likely, I’m known as the obnoxious girl who spammed Facebook with elections photos four years in a row, and who spent her senior spring carrying around bags full of tampons.

Where are you going? Back to Texas to hang out with my dog.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?

1) Please tell someone or reach out to anyone if you are struggling with your mental health. There are resources at Columbia (Counseling and Psychological Services, Sexual Violence Response, Nightline, etc.) that are all confidential. It can be scary to do this, and there are a lot of real concerns that people have when talking about mental health. It is definitely true that these resources aren’t sufficient for everyone, but, if you are struggling, please try to reach out to someone.

Student government and community after the jump

May

10

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Our home during this hellish week?

Bwogline: A NYC lawyer raced a subway train on foot, and won. He’s no stranger to kicking the MTA’s ass – he previously won the Guiness world record for fastest time to travel through every station in the city – but he claims to be “done with the subway things for a while” after this victory. (NY Daily News)

Study tip: Change locations! Sitting in the same spot in your dorm’s lounge or the same room in Butler for several hours at a time can cause you to stagnate in your studying as well. Even just moving floors can help revive your motivation.

Music: Remember Owl City? Ten million fireflies, songs about the dentist, and instrumentals that were always vaguely reminiscent of outer space? Well, Adam Young, the man behind Owl City, is still making music – last year, he decided to take a break from pop to create a series of instrumental soundtracks for inspirational moments in human history (including the Apollo 11 mission, the first successful climb of Mount Everest, Joe Kittinger’s 1960 parachute jump, and more). All twelve of these soundtracks are great study music, and they’re all free on YouTube, Spotify, and Adam Young’s website.

Procrastination Tip: Turn off your wifi and play the no internet connection/jumping dinosaur game on Google Chrome. Then, keep your wifi turned off to get cracking on that paper.

Overheard: Outside Butler: “She’s more hated than Bwog.” Aw, we love our fans  (´ ε ` )♡

Home sweet home via February Bwog

May

9

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Say (EC)heese!

Here is a byline for probably the shortest senior wisdom ever. We love it though. Congrats, Ricky :’) 

Name, College, Major, Hometown: Richard Wolff; Columbia College; Math/Counting Studies; Winesburg, Ohio

Claim to Fame: Pretty tall. Stares in Butler.

Where are you going? Why do you want to know

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?

1) Sell out.

2) Go down.

3) Grow up.

Also, finish your language requirement before you’re a second semester senior.

“Back in my day…” Cannons was for sex pots, not hot pots. RIP.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer. I pay Student Life Fees, therefore I am.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? Algebraic Topology. I’d explain but you wouldn’t understand because you study like history or whatever.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Oral sex

One thing to do before graduating: Ecclesiastes

Any regrets? Not having got IB job at Goldman Sachs. Also, not having played a show with my four-piece jazz combo, the Gold Man Sax.

Not even gonna give this one a jump via Ricky

May

9

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I’ve probably spent more of my life in Blue Java than I have in my own suite kitchen, so I’ve wasted a great deal of time staring at and connecting with the little cards stuck in the pastries. But I assume (hope) most of you guys have lives and haven’t really noticed how ridiculous some of them are. Here are some of my favorite ones, enjoy.

May

9

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Flower power

Dana Kim is all about cheese pizza and respecting her professors. Check out her senior wisdom!

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Yoobeen (Dana) Kim, General Studies, Economics/History, Busan, S. Korea

Claim to fame: Chief of Finance on GSSC and numerous arguments within council about funding this or that. S/o to Bwog’s Jennie and Romane for faithfully sitting through all the long meetings!

Where are you going? Squatting in my NYC apartment for as long as my visa will allow me. JK. Continuing research for a professor in the Economics department, and working for a documentary on Korean diaspora in Latin America.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?
1)  GSers are much cooler people than I ever imagined. Being a more “traditional” student in that I only took a gap year between my freshman year at the unfortunate institution downtown named New York University, before transferring to GS, I approached many of my fellow GSers with much prejudice. It didn’t take me long to learn that they are just as brilliant as all other undergrads of Columbia and bring in a vibrancy like none other to our community. It was such a meaningful and gratifying experience serving the GS community this semester and learning about how rich our community is.

What other wisdom can Dana offer?

May

9

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College Walk of fame

Before heading to Ireland, Peter tells us about the good gyms on campus and time management. 

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Peter James Kiernan, General Studies, Political Science, Babylon, New York

 

Claim to fame: I’m that guy who did the 6mm campaign to get Trump to release his tax returns, I’m also one of the few GS students to be a varsity athlete. #GSgrandpa #stillgotit

Where are you going?: I’ll be knocking out my master’s degree in Ireland courtesy of the Mitchell Scholarship.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?
1) Life is all about how you prioritize your time, so pick 3 things and focus on them. (Usually, academics is one, and a social life or relationship is two, be careful with the third)
2) “You learn more from the misses than you do the hits,” if you are not failing at anything you’re not pushing yourself far enough out of your comfort zone. For every one success I’ve had, I’ve racked up about 10 failures.
3) Being an athlete is the secret way to get access to all of the good gyms (there’s more than a couple).

“Back in my day…” Jeb Bush was a staunch conservative.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer.  I’m just trying to save the world one political problem at a time. Cautiously optimistic about the human condition and representative democracy.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? Poetics of the Warrior changed my life.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I should probably cut down on the calories anyway..

One thing to do before graduating: Jump off the “C rock” up by the stadium and boat house.

Any regrets? Not being around more for my friends and the people who love me.

Future so bright via Peter

May

9

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Butler reacts only

If you’re an English major facing a literature exam, or a classics major facing an astronomy exam, or any other writing-heavy humanities major facing any other kind of exam, there’s a decent chance you’re currently panicking about it. This is pretty understandable – you’ve trained yourself to make arguments in Word documents at 2 am, not in little blue books, and test-taking is a skill best honed with practice. To help assuage your despair, resident science/humanities double major Betsy Ladyzhets has some studying advice.

1. Re-type all of your notes. By not only reading through your lecture (or seminar) notes, but also re-typing them, you’ll really engage with the material. If your notes are sparse (or if you tended to take a brief nap around forty minutes into every class), find a friend to share notes with.

2. Make flashcards. Tons of flashcards. Mounds of flashcards. Mountains of flashcards. Every class can be a flashcard class if you believe it can. You can use up all of the paper in Butler to do this, or, if you’d rather not cramp up your wrist, use Quizlet.

Other ways to study for tests.

May

9

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The Liz’s Place stereo definitely keeps us wide awake

Know the best place on campus to take a public nap? Jannine is looking for suggestions in exchange for some wisdom.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Jannine/J9. Barnard College. Sociology major, statistics minor. Bergen County, New Jersey.

Claim to fame: Hitting the trifecta of cultural, religious, and political organizing under MSA, Turath, and Columbia Students for Justice in Palestine. Doing some inflammatory arts and crafts my freshman year, putting those crafting skills to further good use as your RA.

Where are you going? Back home. Both to Palestine to visit + see family, and New Jersey to settle :3

Will you be napping on the way?

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