Are you feeling the Bern? So is most of America, according to TIME’s Person of the Year poll, which everyone’s favorite liberal-uncle-ish politician is winning as of now. (TIME)
Getting ready for the ubiquitous Turkey Dump? Soon enough, Facebook will make brutally breaking your S.O.’s heart that much easier by introducing an Eternal Sunshine-esque policy that allows users to disconnect themselves as much as possible from their formerly “Facebook official” paramours. (The Guardian)
In what is possibly the least surprising news of the week, Donald Trump’s personality continues to reflect the quality of his unruly mop of “hair.” He suggested that a Black Lives Matter protestor “should have been roughed up” for voicing his anger towards the system. Yuck. (CNN)
A homeless man in the Bronx uncovered a cache of stolen military weapons in a trash bag. We’re not scared at ALL… (MSN)
Running Home via Shutterstock
A Clery Crime Alert was sent out tonight reporting a sexual assault in the East Campus residence hall on Saturday, November 21st between 3:00 and 4:30 in the morning. The text is included below:
On Saturday November 21, 2015 Public Safety was notified of a sexual assault that occurred inside of East Campus between the hours of 3:00am and 4:30am. An identified student reported being the victim of a sexual assault by two other students known to her. As of this date and time, there is no further information available. If you have any information regarding this crime, please contact the Investigations Office at 212-854-2054.
This crime alert stands out as the first in recent memory to inform the community of a sexual assault that has occurred in a residence hall. This post will be updated if any new information is reported.
A mainstay of Morningside Heights you could never afford goes out of business, you doubt the veracity of the American dream, and you fail your Chemistry midterm: all in a week’s work. A weird revelation: we’re beginning to think everything in our lives can be tied to the rise and fall of American Apparel, or really, any once-profitable-but-no-longer American corporation. As always, send in any in-the-wild field notes to email@example.com.
Tags: "favorite meaty Swipes app" what a call out!!, #CuffingSeason, 1020, american apparel, drunken snaps, envisioning the McBain vending machine as a currency exchange machine, field notes, finding yourself on the roof of Havemeyer, good friends don't let their friends CAVA themselves needlessly, good morning, headless mannequins/butts as dorm decoration, literal falls, making out in the showers, stop discriminating against duane reade bears, Symposium, the fall is a lot longer than the rise, they probably knew the ID was fake bc of the new scanning software but they're softies on the inside, tinder
Carman: land of petty elevator disputes, vomit-stained carpets, vandalized bulletin boards, and a deeply-entrenched loneliness matched only by the vast plains of middle America. Behold the beauty and the desolation of the most “social” first-year dorm, established before Carmanites have even taken their first final.
And just remember: it honestly never gets any better.
Tags: carman, carman envisioned as the wild west, dark night of the soul, drake would probably live in furnald tbh, elevator drama, letting the entropy of the universe consume us, rogue hearts, rogue toilet paper, thirst, this is supposed to be the social dorm but we still don't know our floormates' names...but that's probably our fault, we took that picture of the tree before halloween so imagine how long it's been waiting to be relevant
This is a call to all seniors graduating this term: we want your wisdom, institutional or otherwise, accumulated over the course of your years at Columbia. Though we’re sorry to see you go, could there be any better way to graduate than by participating in our long history of Senior Wisdoms, imparting your carefully culled knowledge to the unenlightened masses? You probably have a cool story if you’re graduating this time of year, so email us at firstname.lastname@example.org with your information and in the meantime, get some more experience with both cheese and oral sex (to more confidently answer the infamous question).
And for friends of seniors graduating this term, please nominate the most rad, fascinating, or quintessentially Columbia people you know, because we think other people will be interested too. Email us all the information at email@example.com and include a short description of why you think they deserve a senior wisdom. We’ll be reaching out to nominees shortly, so get on that!
Woot Woot via Shutterstock
Tags: bwog senior wisdoms 2015, do you remember reading these with excitement and trepidation as a pre-frosh/first year, let the flames of wisdom warm you as the weather cools down, nominate your friends/enemies/frenemies, okay but no one can compete with an actual owl, there is no shame in nominating yourself, vs actual wisdoms, winter wisdoms
We all know the real reason that Lerner has increased the price of key replacements to a whopping $50, but here’s the official statement from Jose Rosa, Director of Operations of the Transportation Office:
Prior to this increase, the key replacement fee had not changed for more than 10 years, during which time the actual cost to replace a lock and key began to far exceed the fee charged to students. The process to replace keys involves purchasing new keys and locks, and the labor to make and install them. The current key replacement fee of $50, while still below the actual replacement costs, was driven by these associated costs and is now in line with other University lost key fees.
While this all seems very rational and financially sensible, it’s still a fairly shocking jump in price point, so we suggest making copies of your key, sleeping with it around your neck, or throwing it in the trash just to make a statement about your abundance of disposable income/disdain for the administration (Could this be a new addition to the St. A’s initiation ceremony?). And considering the actual factors driving the price hike, you might want to get an off-campus P.O. box and protect your personal information.
And even if it does make sense from a fiscal point of view—it’s still true that the University might be planning to phase out mailboxes. So what’s the point, really, of this, or by extension, anything? And why is Bwog covering this so intensely?
Tags: don't let this distract you from the truth, gossip, investigative journalism, Jose Rosa, keys, mailboxgate 2015, psa, throwing away your key is the new dashing a rolex on the ground, trapped in steel and glass and the horrors of artifice: alfred j. lerner hall, will the phasing out affect anyone in any way, you know it's official when
Performers, designers, type-A personalities, lend me your ears—because you just might be interested in the ongoing auditions for the Varsity Show. Whether you want to act, design costumes, or claim your rightful place as “snack captain”, there’s probably something that interests you, so get ready to dazzle the creative team with your joie de vivre, quick retorts, and surprisingly enough, real and tangible skill! The final two audition/interview dates will be:
Monday, November 23 (today!)
8 to 11 pm in Hamilton Hall
Tuesday, November 24
8 to 11 pm in Hamilton Hall
There is no designated room; signs in the lobby will guide any participants to a holding room before the actual audition or interview.
Actors who audition are expected to prepare 32 bars or a minute of a song in the style of musical theater, while interviewees will, kind of obviously, go through an interview. No one is expected to stay the length of the entire audition period, so this won’t interrupt your frantic study schedule for Gen Chem or that Tinder date you set up before you knew how momentous these nights would be. Basically, you have nothing to lose, and the opportunity to be “part of a truly unique, original process” (hmmm) so why not?
Do It For Alma via Facebook
Tags: bwog has stage fright so we wont be seeing you at the auditions, don't you feel that audition processes build this send of camaraderie as you're all stuck and stressed in the same room or actually maybe the opposite, no experience necessary, psa, school traditions, take a risk, time's a tickin', v122, vshow rlly loves itself
President Spar sent an email to the Barnard community this morning to update students on the administration’s response to an ongoing student challenge of Barnard’s reduced winter break housing policy. Students have put together a petition and the policy has been a recurring topic of SGA meetings this semester.
President Spar acknowledged the petition and other student efforts in her email and elaborated on new opportunities for students to express their housing needs and concerns to the administration. There are still obstacles in the process — for example, students approved for housing can only live in Plimpton Hall — but the email indicates that the process is not over.
Written by Joe Milholland
Joe Milholland, marquess of Mondays, takes us to the most recent CCSC meeting, where the discussed topics included building a more helpful and effective student-alumni relationship and of course, without fail, Bacchanal. Read on for survey results, interesting quotes, and typical council drama.
“We were invisible. I didn’t even know what it was until I got asked to join it,” said Columbia College Alumni (CCA) Chair Kyra Barry, CC ’87, about the presence of her organization on campus during her time at Columbia. Barry came to Sunday night’s Columbia College Student Council (CCSC) meeting, where alumni-student interaction was a big topic.
She explained that CCA is an independent body, although “how independent we’ve been waxes and wanes.” It’s been around for 150 years, and the idea for the lion as a mascot came from CCA, as did the idea of gym equipment in dorms. Barry laid out the CCA’s three main focuses: development, engagement, and the state of the college.
“Starting around 2000, we became very, very focused on development,” said Barry. Development for CCA is mostly fundraising. Barry said that Columbia College is ranked highly in many areas besides the number of alumni who give and that the fund from donations goes to things like financial aid and student services.
Tags: Bacchanal survey, Barnard Winter Housing, Blame CCA for Matilda the Goat not becoming our mascot, cafe east, Cafe East > Cafe 212, CCA, ccsc, How Columbia Got Its mascot, Kyra Barry, lots of updates, resignations, sandwich deals--the rllest update in this whole post, ummm we're not that into sports guys taking over our cozy Lerner lounge, Widescreen TVs in Lerner, writing paragraphs in the survey: how could we not
Not-so-bombastic news: a homeless man rummaging near the home of the Bronx Bombers found a trash bag containing stolen military firearms, looted from an armory a few days earlier. Though investigators tracked down the thief, 13 other weapons are still missing—still, good on you, guy! (New York Daily News)
Because Facebook is your best friend and your big sister rolled in one and basically shields you from the world (not an evil data-collecting corporation at all!!), it’s great news that they’re introducing new tools to help you get through a break-up. (TIME)
We honestly don’t believe the various news sources who’ve debunked the theory that astronaut Scott Kelly took a photo of a UFO while up in space. If there’s anything the Core’s taught us, it’s to be critical and self-aware, so we’re still holding out hope. (Forbes)
Al Roker is accusing a cab driver of racism for passing him by and picking up a white passenger instead. The bright side? Uber and the like are making this type of behavior harder and harder to get away with. (Gawker)
Brussels has been on high alert all weekend as police search for Salah Abdeslam, who is suspected of being part of the Paris terror attacks—but Belgian police have carried out 22 raids, making a total of 16 arrests. (BBC)
CC Student In A Sea of SEAS via Shutterstock
Tags: bronx bombers surrounded by...not bombs but bomb-like weapons, bwoglines, do you root for any new york sports teams?, ISIS, it was aliens, once we sent a message to mark zuckerberg but he never even saw it much less replied so what's the point of living, school of mines!, silver linings, that feel whenever there's an event and someone spams uber and lyft promotions, the core is so real u guys
Tags: but snapchat ppl spill all their shit they let all their skeletons out of the closet, CUSS, is it true that the campus story is over now?? in that case consider this video a tribute, just not on CU snapstory tho, like instagram is fake af, okay but the visual effects in the beginning of this one are dope go CUSS, snapchat gets real, video, we feel like snapchat is probably the most authentic truthful form of social media there is though
Written by Amara Banks
Random flyers and littered pizza crusts are usually the things we don’t notice scattered along Broadway, but the quotes displayed on the black and white marquee sign on 114th seem to catch all of our eyes. They’re usually short and simple, yet simultaneously thought provoking and sometimes inspiring. But, in the words of Justin Bieber, what do [they] mean? Bwog sent Staff Writer Amara Banks to interview Pastor Chris Shelton about the quotes this week.
The red doors that shield the church from 114th Street were tightly shut during my first attempt at meeting the unknown person responsible for the signs. I then called the number listed on the church’s website and spoke with a receptionist who informed me that the pastor actually writes the quotes himself. The receptionist gave me Pastor Chris Shelton’s contact information, and after reaching him on the phone we arranged to meet in person the next day. When I arrived this afternoon, we promptly sat down and I finally asked him the question that has been on the entire community’s mind.
Written by Finn Klauber
Bucket List represents the inordinate intellectual privilege we enjoy as Columbia students. We do our very best to bring to your attention important guest lecturers and special events on campus. Our recommendations for this short academic week are below and the full list is after the jump. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Tags: a band-aid on the broken earth like damn that's depressing, bucket list, can we take this opportunity to discuss our problematic fave: "flesh-toned" band-aids, flesh-toned our asses, gotta love when the tags have zero relevance, happy thanksgiving toooooo, hpy thxgiving, not v encouraging, our ass? does bwog possess a singular collective ass?, our asses?, well this took a turn... happy sunday everyone
Here at Bwog, we support each other no matter what. And now that the Holiday season is upon us, support is more important than ever. You’re probably wondering… Support? What kind of support will I need? It’s Thanksgiving, after all. I can’t wait to go home, eat some turkey/tofurky (we at Bwog respect all lifestyle choices), and see my family and friends.
But you’re forgetting something. In the upcoming week, you need to prepare yourself to answer a series of inane questions relating to your love life, study habits, and life goals.
But don’t worry. Bwog is here to help. For answers to these (and many more), come to Lerner 505 tonight at 7pm! We’ll have snacks, jokes, and lots of advice on dealing with those pesky relatives and avoiding their abundance of inquiries. If all else fails, remember: stuffing your face with turkey is always an option. And if even that fails, take a cue from last night’s SNL skit:
Pray the fakes get exposed via Shutterstock
Tags: bwog meeting announcement, happy needless turkey murder day!!, literally just stuff a turkey in your mouth and all your problems will be solved, meeting tonight, or just stuff a turkey in your relative's mouth. that'll shut them right up, shout out to all the tofurky fans out there... god bless, thanksgiving, we love turkey and hate interrogations, why must adults insist on discussing school when we're out of school for four days, you can count on your bwog support system
Written by Gowan Moïse
Despite being thoroughly tone-deaf and having a distinct lack of knowledge about musical theatre, Bwogger Gowan Moïse spent his Saturday evening in Roone Arledge Auditorium attending Columbia Musical Theatre Society’s production of “Evita.” We bring you his post-play thoughts and feelings below.
Although many might recognize him as the composer of such musical theatre masterpieces as “The Phantom of the Opera” and “Cats,” Andrew Lloyd Webber composed the equally impressive musical “Evita,” which details the life of Eva Perón, an Argentinian social-climber, turned actress, turned political figure. CMTS, for its big musical of the semester, chose to give the arts community of Columbia a crash course in Argentinian politics of the 1940s by putting on “Evita” in the Roone Arledge Auditorium in a three-show, two-day run.
The performance of “Evita” opens to the sounds of a cinema in Argentina on July 26th, 1952, where it is announced that Eva Perón (played by Skylar Gottlieb, BC ‘16) “entered immortality at 20:25 hours.” This opening leads into a requiem for Eva, appropriately sung in Latin. Immediately following the requiem, our narrator, Ché (Sam Balzac, CC ‘17), launches into song about the grief Argentina feels as a country for Evita, their idol. The story then jumps back through time to 1934, where a 15-year-old Eva is introduced to the audience while in the midst of a love affair with tango singer Agustín Magaldi (Jacob Iglitzin, CC ‘19). After using that affair as leverage to persuade Magaldi to take her to Buenos Aires, Eva cuts ties with him and begins socializing (and sleeping around) to facilitate her social-climbing, working her way to become a model, a radio personality, and an actress. Following a few musical numbers, military and political leader Colonel Juan Perón (Christopher Browner, CC ‘16) is brought into the narrative, and he and Eva meet at a charity concert at which Perón is speaking. Eva, using her considerable powers of persuasion, convinces Perón to leave his mistress (played by Emma Smith, BC ‘19), and Eva and Perón marry before Perón launches his presidential bid, using Eva to organize rallies and garner support for his cause.
Tags: cmts, evita, except diana is still so pure in our universal mindset right? like she's so fresh and so clean clean, jk we love you eva, the argentinian princess diana... a solid parallel, we miss you eva, we'll never forget you eva, whereas eva's like... why you always lyin (/money laundering/social climbing)
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