Hey guys, we know that finals are among us and if you’re not passed out, in a booth at 1020, trying to study, or doing some mixture of the three, you should fill out your course evaluations. While the evals will appear “anonymous” to your professors, they can still read what you write. So don’t go too far. Or, if you’re really frustrated—looking at you, Mowsh bio kids—use this as a platform for expressing your discontent. Just remember, constructive criticism is best!
Your professors want to teach better and grow as academics, for the most part. It’s sorta their job, after all. So fill out those course evals! You won’t regret it.
Pondering whether to curse at your prof via martinak15 / CC-BY-2.0
USenator, Loyal Friend, and feckless comment-reader Marc Heinrich wants to endow you procrastinators with some wisdom. He talks work-life balance, leadership, and asbestos, among other topics. Check out our other wisdoms for more ruminations.
Name, School, Major, Hometown: Marc Heinrich, Columbia College, Political Science & History, New York, NY
Claim to fame: University Senator, AEPi Brother, semester-long EIC of the Undergraduate Law Review, Proud Bacardi Enthusiast, Sofia Vergara fan (I once woke up at 5:30 am to see her)
Where are you going? Moving to Washington D.C. and going into consulting (I know, shocking coming from Columbia).
What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2020?
1. Be a Good and Loyal Friend. I really can’t stress this one enough, and I always try to remember this as I interact with people. If someone you’re close to needs help, you should drop everything to do so. Your paper can wait and you can come back early from whatever bar you’re at (hopefully not 1020), but being there for the people you care about is really the most important personality trait someone can have. It’s also what separates a regular friendship from one who will truly mean a lot to you past Columbia. The only times I’ve ever stayed up past 5am at Columbia have been to help friends with issues they were having and I’ve never once regretted it.
It’s Reading Week, you’re looking through your notes, and you realize much of what you scribbled down is illegible, strange, or undecipherable. Even more of it is just amusing. Below are some of your classmates’ notes, which are by turns sad, excited, mean, and strangely enough, helpful.
Classmates (and Professors): Can’t Live With Them
Still scribbling out her thesis, Barnard senior and “self-hating Jew” Eva Kalikoff took a few minutes to share some thoughts about activism, sushi, and Senior Scramble. Let her wisdom blow you away, and peruse our library of knowledge at your leisure.
Name, School, Major, Hometown: Eva Kalikoff, Barnard College, Comparative Literature, Hastings-on-Hudson, NY
Claim to fame: I spent a lot of time shouting about separating zionism from Judaism, both on College Walk and Facebook. I created a Jewish community for people with dissenting opinions on Israel, while simultaneously being called a Nazi and a self-hating Jew by parents who should not be allowed on the internet and my beloved fellow classmates at this glorious elitist institution (@Kraft Center what’s good???). I tweeted angrily throughout the 600 fire of 2015, which quickly squashed the possibility for realizing any culinary ambitions that involved an oven, and also saw the end of Ollie’s (RIP MSG in everything). I started as an idealistic Spec City News reporter with ambitions of Managing Board glory. Instead, I watched that corporatized ship sink in front of me. I learned a lot about local politics and Community Board 7 along the way, though.
Where are you going? Get back to me after I’ve turned in my thesis.
Tags: "I am a mother to all who know me.", aryeh, barnard, dn't feel bad we didn't match with any of the members of aryeh either, eva kalikoff, gr8 tip re: sushi, palestine, senior wisdom, subway party, tb to late night meninism, using @ judiciously, we also live tweet but the disaster we follow is our lives, we want to know you
Live At Lerner presents Final Sounds: Alpenglow today from 1 to 2 pm in the Lerner Piano Lounge. If you haven’t been keeping up, Live At Lerner is a live performance series that has featured both established and up-and-coming artists all year, mostly in the Piano Lounge, but occasionally outdoors; they’ve had a pretty good run this year. Today’s performer, Alpenglow, is an interesting note to end on: the band’s early music is spacious, slow, and meandering, while its later music, influenced by the city, is more beat- and tone-focused. Whatever they play today, it should take your mind off finals for an hour, and hopefully destress you a bit before you delve into the beast that is Butler. Sit back a little!
Another fun fact: Lunch will be served.
It’s Day 2 of Reading Week! We know you probably don’t believe in yourself but that’s okay, because we have enough faith in you to power Butler for an entire week. Get out of bed, go to that study group, write 6 pages of your paper, and smash that mf final! Alternatively, listen to mopey songs right before you go to bed and never get back the Lit Hum books you loaned out to friends.
Bwogline: R.I.P. to the presidential candidacy of Ted Cruz, murdered by Donald Trump’s electoral prowess—it was a blast, full of great memes, awkward handshakes, and flashbacks to our former roommates. Don’t go! Is something we would have cried out if we liked you. (CNN)
Study Tip: Make a detailed list of all the things you’re going to get done today, and in what order you’ll do them. Actually write it out. Be overambitious so when you inevitably fall short, you’re not that far behind. Physical list-making is one way to keep on top of all your responsibilities and stay motivated, and nothing feels better than crossing off an item from a list! Don’t forget to castigate yourself if you catch yourself watching another episode of Silicon Valley.
Procrastinate: Make sure you’ve uploaded all of your financial aid documents for next year! The deadline is May 5. On a less practical note, name yourself “Obamacare” or “The Donald” and get to swallowing up others of your kind in an attempt to be the biggest and best there ever was—it’s a microcosm of Columbia.
Music: Feeling alone and unlovable, young and defiant, or pining for that NoCo cutie? If it’s not that late yet, listen to this Bollywood crowd-pleaser to get pumped up for your 15 page Anthropology term paper (put on autoplay to end up in places you would never expect).
Overseen: A couple furiously making out in front of us at Butler, and a disgusted international student walking out in response. Butler is not for love!!
Tags: butler is not for love!!, bwog in bed, day 2, international students, motivate us pls, our real procrastination tip is b@b, put on CC for those bollywood songs or just let them wash over u, reading week, ted cruz, we are shameful addicts, we're always in the mood for some mopey songs, writing bwog in bed in bed
In our next Senior Wisdom, Hannah Cohen discusses being named after a Hebrew alcoholic and why becoming dependent on substances is not a great thing. Plus some stuff about finding yourself, true self knowledge, and just plain out connecting with other members of the Columbia community.
Name, School, Major, Hometown: Hannah Jane Cohen, CC, Earth Science and Film Studies, Central Perk.
Claim to fame:
While Butler reeks of stress and procrastination (and also genuine butt), CUMB has perfumed our moods with some comedic relief by releasing some of the second round of Orgo Night posters. There is a notable absence of highly offensive jokes–are CUMB and controversy on a hiatus? Regardless, we’re sure they’ll be back together this Thursday at 11:59 pm. See you in Butler 209!
Tags: 69 semi annual ;-), baby daddy, back and they're better, bryson tiller, but barnard has jjs place, cumb, cumb to 209, don't (play this song for him), don't (skip orgo night this year), malia obama, no more jjs place sugar daddies, no one is safe, orgo night, orgo night posters, varsity show, will their jokes make u cumb?
Written by Betsy Ladyzhets
As today is the first day of Reading Week (or Reading Three Days), and likely the first day you realized you seriously needed to get your act together and start studying. To help you on this seemingly futile quest, Bwogger Betsy Ladyzhets has put together a playlist of instrumental music that’s at once motivational and not distracting. The playlist is, in total, about three hours long, and includes familiar movie soundtracks, famous classical pieces, and a few less famous classical pieces.
Here are some highlights:
Tags: alternative suggestion: just pull up the soundtrack of your favorite movie on youtube, playlist, remember when doctor who season 5 was airing and we had no idea how shitty moffat's writing would turn out to be? those were the days, shoutout to symphonic band music for going hard, there was going to be anime music on this playlist but then we reevaluated our life choices
Name, School, Major, Hometown: Freida Steiner // Barnard // Sociology // Ann Arbor, MI (Go Blue!)
Claim to fame: You ran into me in the Diana/Liz’s Place at least once in your time here, whether you know it or not.
Where are you going? Back to high school
What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2020?
Written by Raji Ganapathy
Bwog’s ever faithful Barnard Bearoness, Raji Ganapathy, watched in (figurative) tears as SGA happenings drew to a close this year. But in a final meeting which seemed to sum up the tropes of this year’s SGA, a guest speaker was heard, questions asked, and resolutions pushed out of SGA’s “normal” meeting.
As classes draw to a close and finals loom ever closer, the shadows lengthen on SGA happenings for this year, and this Barnard Bearoness is surely sad to see them go. This Monday, the 2015-2016 Rep Council gathered for the last time on the second floor of Diana to tie up loose ends from this year. We started with a discussion with guest speaker Frances Sadler (BC ‘72), a Trustee and the Board’s Co-Chair of the Committee for Campus Life. During her time at Barnard, Sadler majored in psychology and was known for her involvement with BOSS. She also was a participant in the newly established Education Program, going on to work as a public school teacher after graduation.
The Board of Trustees’ Committee for Campus Life conducts research regarding campus life concerns, and presents this information to the rest of the Board so that they can make informed decisions. Sadler stressed that the Committee for Campus Life aimed to be open to student input and that she considered it “…really important that students find and use their voice.” The Committee for Campus Life is currently looking to address issues of mental health resources and support on campus.
After presenting an overview of the responsibilities of her position, Sadler responded to several questions raised by SGA members. One issue in particular was clarification on how exactly the Board of Trustees incorporates student input during policy formation. Sadler replied that for her committee, students are often invited to share their opinions. When asked by SGA President Shivani Vikuntam to elaborate on the selection process by which students are invited to attend Committee meetings, Sadler stated that the process was inconsistent, but that she generally reaches out to Dean Hinkson and takes into account her recommendation on whether any particular student groups should be included in the conversation.
It’s finally finals season, a time of reckoning, a time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance, a time to—well, you get the idea. It’s not great, by any means, and if you’re anything like us, each of your six professors expects 30% of your total time and effort. Now, we’re not mathematics majors, but that just doesn’t seem to numerically work out. Regardless, Bwog in Bed is back to provide you with some form of (temporary) relief.
Bwogline: Protestors, mostly peaceful, gave two choices to the Iraqi parliament: reform or face annihilation. The protestors, who support the reform agenda of Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi, left the Green Zone Baghdadi citadel on Sunday, threatening to return if their demands were not met. Who knows if the sectarian divisions incorporated into Iraqi government will be able to reconcile with this turn in events. (NYT)
Study Tip: Finals is really a tough time. Now, we don’t encourage an excess of physically negative behaviors, but spend theses one or two weeks focusing on what makes you comfortable and prepares you best emotionally, mentally, and intellectually for these upcoming exams. Taking a coffee or cigarette break should be just that, a break from stress and worry. And that’s okay! In moderation, nobody will think the less of you.
Overheard: “The biggest problem at this school is that nobody knows how to walk.”
Overseen: V Show crew did something (seen above) last night. And we even wrote about it, too!
Leaning statue of V Show via Bwog Staff
Not only is today the last day of classes, it also marks the last field notes post of the semester. Or maybe even the last field notes post ever? Who can say. We here at Bwog are ready for the world to spiral into the hot, fiery embrace of the inferno or cold, dark embrace of the void at any moment.
Some Say The World Will End In Fire:
Tags: field notes, if this is your last weekend on campus/you're done after this friday we hate you but we also want to be you, like if you relate to the custard, like if you relate to the void, referencing frost and dante in one post? that's a lot possibly too much (much like finals), to quote macbeth: all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death, what is a weekend really but a collection of moments we will eventually forget
The wisdom continues with Suze Myers – Zine clubber, librarian enthusiast, and social media expert. (Does she run the Barnlib Twitter? Does she run something even better? You’ll have to read on to find out.)
Name, School, Major, Hometown: Suze Myers, Barnard, Art History, Huntsville, AL
Claim to fame: Head cheerleader of the Barnard Zine Club, and the #1 student library worker in the tri-state area. Maybe not #1 but probably top ten. Also a graphic designer, and also a total babe.
Where are you going? I’m moving to London to study design.
Tags: Does she run the barnlib insta too?, Librarians ARE punk af, Probably top 10, RIP Maggie's old spot, RIP Uni Cafe, RIP Zayn, senior wisdom, senior wisdoms, senior wisdoms 2016, The librarians are more hardcore than us, We actually cried when we found out Suze is BC Magnolia Tree, We actually really like the Eye, We're all that weird raindrop cake thing
Written by Joe Milholland
It’s the end of the semester, and we’re all unraveling a little bit – stress about exams, end-of-semester projects, and those ever-looming course evaluations is really getting to us. It appears that CCSC might not be so different – a simple discussion about the Sandwich Ambassador nearly drove CCSC into chaos. But the council still came together to celebrate their accomplishments and present Paper Plate Awards (CCSC’s version of superlatives) at the end of the meeting. Throughout this high-emotion meeting, Bureau Chief Joe Milholland remained calm and collected, and his coverage is as stellar as ever.
Partway through a discussion about whether or not to rename the Sandwich Ambassador at last night’s Columbia College Student College Council meeting, VP of Finance Sameer Mishra motioned to vote for abolishing the position entirely. “Since there’s no written text [of a proposal to change the constitution], by Robert’s Rules, that’s out of order,” said University Senator Marc Heinrich, who got several cheers and claps from CCSC members at this deceleration.
At this point, CCSC broke out into a chaos of different voices and opinions, mostly concerning whether they needed a written proposal to change the name of the Sandwich Ambassador. Heinrich motioned to abolish VP of Finance at one point. [Update: since I’ve been asked to clarify, Heinrich’s proposal to abolish the VP of Finance was purely a joke, as was the the proposal below to abolish CCSC].
“I’m going to continue discussion. In the meantime, if anyone writes up any written amendments… [he was interrupted by arguments about the agenda] … We’re going to go down the speaker’s list,” said CCSC President Ben Makansi, trying to return the discussion to normalcy. Unfortunately, for the next name on the speaker’s list, someone had written “Lee.”
Tags: 'most likely to invite jj's staff to his wedding' same, "That's out of order", being on shrooms during a CCSC meeting, Ben Mak, ccsc, CCSC chaos, Dan Stone, Dan Stone gets what he wants, flip, foosball, like if you think joe is the most effective member of ccsc, Pornstache, renaming sandwich ambassador, sandwich ambassador, shitting on members of CCSC, Vivek Ramakrishnan, where is our paper plate award, where is the award for 'most likely to send a college-wide email at 3am'?
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