Written by Briana Bursten
Looking for a perfect way to mark the end of finals? DJ Breezus has you covered. Using her WBAR magic, Breezy has compiled a highly sophisticated playlist for Columbians who just want to celebrate their freedom. Even if your finals aren’t quite over, go ahead and listen to some music that will make you feel like the bamf that you are.
Summer is here! Whether you’re studying for your last final, packing up all of your belongings, or reading Bwog from the comfort of your own bed @ home (lol), we have compiled a final list of songs to send you off. Enjoy, and we’ll be back with more tunez in the fall!
Brief moment of pure joy until your summer job starts via Shutterstock
Tags: #DJBreezus, freeeeeeeedom, how many exams did Bwog collectively take?, JK Bwog still has 3 papers to write, Missy Elliott knows what's up, this pic is called 'Free Happy Woman Enjoying Nature Beauty Girl Outdoor Beauty Girl Over Sun And Sky', what's Breezy going to do from 4-6am now that WBAR is done?
President Bollinger sent an email to students this afternoon announcing that Senior Executive Vice President Robert Kasdin will be leaving Columbia at the end of June. Kasdin will become the Senior Vice President and Chief Operating Officer of Johns Hopkins Medicine. Both former Dean Terry Martinez and Dean Kevin Shollenberger left Columbia in the past years to accept positions at Johns Hopkins, prompting a trend of admins leaving Columbia for the health care system. The real question is: which admin will Johns Hopkins scoop up next?
President Bollinger explains that this is “a time of significant change in our nation’s health care system” as Kasdin moves into his new position. He also asks for the Columbia community to congratulate Kasdin on his new role. President Bollinger did not name a replacement for Kasdin in his email.
Itching to get off campus? So sick of John Jay and Ferris that you’d literally eat anything else? Bwog’s very own EIC and contributor to The Blue and White Taylor Grasdalen, BC ’17, went on a freegan adventure to satisfy your dumpster diving curiosities. Pick up a copy of the May issue on campus now!
I realized, all too late one Saturday as I began to dress for what I was calling a “night out,” that I was on my way to meet several people whose real names I did not know, to a neighborhood downtown where I had never been, to rummage through stores’ bagged and curbed unwanted goods.
The dumpster diving community in New York is surprisingly large. There are comprehensive directories online for the city’s “freegans,” a portmanteau of “free” and “vegan” and a title they generally prefer over “dumpster divers.” New York City focused Facebook groups and message boards boast hundreds of members with niche diving needs or interests: specifically vegan, vegetarian, junk food-inclined, or leftist, anarchist, anti-consumerist. In Brooklyn, you can take Freeganism 101 or a Trash Tour, put on by a freegan collective on the domain name freegan.info.
This crowd is a mixed bag. I find a couple already rifling through some found garbage bags at our meeting place, almost certainly students; an older man and woman discussing the weather, united by their identical and endearingly frizzed silver hair and floral patchwork jackets; and a few others, prepared in boots and gloves with backpacks or small carts and reusable bags, in their late twenties to fifties. None of them are homeless. “We’d just rather not see food still very good for eating make its way to a landfill,” says Rosa, the woman in the floral patchwork jacket.
There are eight here altogether. Everyone has met before, save myself and one tallish guy in a Dartmouth sweatshirt. I learn that everyone here readily self-identifies as vegan or vegetarian, and that taking animal products is considered risky. None of them have ever gotten sick from their finds and a few exclusively eat only what they can “forage.” Bread is a common favorite, and easily found. A girl named Leah crosses her fingers for a loaf of good sourdough. Rosa wants to find blueberry muffins.
Tags: bwog is eating a blueberry muffin right now but we went to westside because we're not that bold, D'Agonstino is consistently mediocre aren't they, everyone has that one vegan cousin don't they, finals issue, freeganism, from the issue, reading this makes bwog so hungry, tbh would never pay full price for whole foods, the blue and white
Oops [we] did it again…and by did it again, we mean we slept through our alarm. Anyway, on the second-to-last day of finals, Britney Spears has got us thinking about space.
Bwogline: NASA’s Curiosity Rover took photos of a blue-tinged sunset on Mars. (NASA)
Study Tip: We always find it calming to take a break from Butler and go lie on the Sundial and stare at the sky. Unfortunately, the graduation tents are blocking the Sundial’s view of the stars, but you could also try one of the patches of grass along College Walk.
Procrastinate: Did the FroSci astrophysics section give you an existential crisis? Check out this simulation of the 100,000 stars closest to us.
While finals continue to plague some students, things remain terrifying on campus as people slowly start to reach emotional death. Although we posted a Dark Night of the Soul post earlier this past weekend, we found a few more gems we just had to share with you. Enjoy.
Notes from the field:
– “Saw someone too drunk to navigate JJ’s”
– “I just went to get a pencil from my backpack and a moth flew out of it”
– “There is a dog next to me in Butler and I don’t know what to do”
– “A literal dark night in Starbucks right now most of the lights are turned off.”
– “Either I am having some primo stress-induced hallucinations or I just saw a fucking tribble skitter out from behind my wardrobe…dear god, I need sleep”
Written by Tatini Mal-Sarkar
What time is it? SUMMER TIME! As finals end, we know what’s really on your mind — or who. This summer, get up to get down with these handy summer lovin’ tips brought to you courtesy of Tats.
My year has been frigid and now that it’s toasty again, I’m lookin’ for a hot summer romance. What’s the best way for me to go about procuring a summer fling?
Rarin’ For Romance
It’s great that you’re looking for some action, and boy have I got some tips for you! Quench your thirst this summer with these no-fail strategies, informed by nothing but the finest pop culture references, to meeting the love of your
1. Heading off to camp? Follow your mother to the camp she cooks for and you too will meet the summer fling of your dreams while canoeing. Not super sure what else happens here, but I’m 95% confident you’ll sing something with a cute person, which is all that really matters.
2. Might not be a “summer fling” per se, but Troy and Gabriella have sure got it goin’ on for two high school-age youths! To achieve this power couple status, lurk your local/Alburquerque country club teen gatherings until someone forces your shy self into the spotlight with that mysterious local teen ;)) . You will inevitably wind up transferring anyway, so get excited for the love of your life~!
3. Looking for a long-distance romance? Jet off to Rome to find your identical twin pop sing diva a la Lizzie McGuire! It’s uncanny, the resemblance — almost like someone just put a dark-tressed wig on you. Note, however, that this fling truly is just a fling; inevitably, he’ll wind up a filthy lipsyncer. So annoying how they do that.
4. Let’s be real, what you really need is a sugar daddy/mama. Look no farther than the best role model in television history, Nate Archibald of Gossip Girl fame. Country clubs seem to be a theme here, but this time seek out the lonely, bored cougar, trapped in a loveless marriage with a penchant for trouble (second winky face). Hopefully she’s rich and will pay you lots. What’s love but a paycheck, anyway?
5. Or take a cue from the real royalty on Gossip Girl, i.e. Blair Cornelia Waldorf, and find yourself a hot eligible literal Prince Charming. He is moneyed, titled, and absolutely personality-less — a real catch! Spend your summer pining away in France as your cuter, funnier, livelier friend sleeps her way through the local bartenders. Never cease in your judgmental ways; your time too will come.
And who knows? According to the Holy Bible AKA Laguna Beach, Summer Can Last Forever. Mayhaps you shall be the new Stephen and Kristen — may your love see no ends.
See the Varsity Show and dying to know more about Suzanne Goldberg? Check out The Blue and White’s investigation into the Office of University Life, written by Literary Editor Virginia Fu, CC ’17.
On April 13, Suzanne Goldberg, three months into her new role at the head of the Office of University Life, gave the keynote address at the Office’s inaugural event—a screening of the film Selma, followed by a faculty panel discussion. Formed in late January, the Office is still in its infancy, consisting of what Goldberg called “a small but dedicated office” of three staffers. It operates out of 208 Philosophy and Goldberg’s previous office in the Law School building.
Goldberg is still trying to find a way to communicate with students en masse and solicit input. When we interviewed her in April, she spoke carefully, frequently prefacing her statements with phrases like, “This is just what I’ve heard,” and “You can tell me if I’m wrong.” At the Selma screening, attendees were encouraged to tweet their questions, but Goldberg admitted she was “not much of a Twitter person.” She has also written posts for the Columbia Spectator’s blog, Spectrum. She uses her blog as a platform to “share information and reflect on ideas,” but recognizes that this approach has limited reach.
“From what I understand,” she said, “most undergraduates read the B-wog,” pronouncing the “B” as its own letter. “The question is just how to get the word out. If you guys have ideas, you should really just send me a list of things. Does The Blue and White have a blog?”
What in the world is an EVP?
According to WikiCU, the nine Executive Vice Presidents who report directly to the University President’s Office can be likened to the Nazgul who do the bidding of the Dark Lord Sauron in J. R. R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy.
The reality is much less interesting. After a wave of student activism and a title IX lawsuit against the university, President Lee Bollinger announced the creation of an Office of Student Affairs, which would be led by an EVP. It would be the first office created at the EVP level in over four years and the first directly responding to student needs. In an email to students, Bollinger wrote that the Office would be a “primary place of contact for issues relating to sexual assault.” Eventually, it would also respond to “numerous matters relating to students that call out for attention by an individual placed at the highest level of the University administration.”
CCSC was quick to note their expectations of the position and who should fill it. In spring 2014, they submitted a memo of recommendations that emphasized visibility and approachability through functions such as monthly office hours and town hall-style meetings. In an interview, CCSC President Peter Bailinson stressed the need for an high-level administrator “who actually understands the students.”
Take some time to learn outside of the classroom this summer, and return to the glory days of leisure reading. Bwog staff has compiled a list of some must-reads, (anyone notice the insane amount of trilogies included in this list??) (Bwog = Illuminati??) so feel free to take our suggestions and pick up any (or all) of these guys to fill your summer days.
We know firsthand that this senior has a whole lotta wisdom. We sat down with our own Bwog Director of Communications, Natalie Telson, to hear her tackle the oral sex or cheese question.
Name, School, Major, Hometown: Natalie Telson; GS/JTS; Political Science at Columbia and Hebrew Bible at JTS; North Tustin, CA
Claim to fame: You may have seen me wandering campus with a massive red backpack over the last four years, but more notably I was that girl dancing with the Israeli flag on stage with Lupe Fiasco at Bacchanal 2014, and I’m a proud and active member of both Delta Gamma and the JTS Joint Program. Oh, and I’m Director of Communications for the top news site around – Bwog!
Where are you going? I am working in the PR & Communications department at The Huffington Post primarily handling the HuffPost Live account. VERY happy to be working in NYC and staying close with my Columbia/Barnard/JTS FriendFam.
Tags: bwog senior wisdom 2015, bwog senior wisdoms, delta gamma, friendfam, huffpost, jts/columbia swag!!, katy perry california gurls is playin rn, keep in touch, koronet's, lol tavern hill or whatever, senior wisdom, senior wisdom 2015, she's a DG but she also rushed bwog??? isn't that against some sisterhood code??
You all attend Columbia, so you have essentially already condemned yourself to being a corporate sellout for the rest of your life. Get that last push for your Econ final by reading this Tuesday’s edition of Bwog in Bed. Also, Wu Tang forever.
Bwogline: Peter Schweizer’s book, Clinton Cash, has caused quite a ruckus since it hit stores earlier this month. The entire campaign is so shaken up by the book that they have created a website that debunks the myths outlined in the text. In Clinton Cash, Schweizer sets to prove that both of the Clintons have profited from foreign governments. (Breitbart.com)
Study Tip: It’s important to take breaks while studying in order to keep yourself fresh and your spirits
relatively high. However, who says that breaks have to be a waste of time? You can make cash in your hour-long break by looking online and finding a focus group to attend. One of our Bwoggers went to a focus group for 45 minutes between two of her classes earlier this semester, and she made $100. It’s amazing what a lil break can do for your work ethic and for your wallet.
Procrastinate: Rihanna is killin it!! Even though the iHeartRadio Music Awards took place nearly two months ago, her performance of BBHMM remains near and dear to our hearts. Watch it again for some inspiration!! You’ll probably find yourself singing this song as you walk to your ~~paid~~ Wall Street internship sometime this summer (lookin’ at you,
JJP Econ major).
Tags: badgalriri, bandz a make her study, BBHMM, bernie sanders, bernie sanders is running; in other news bernie sanders is too old to physically run, Bernie Sanders' major in college was Horticulture, Bitch Betta Have My Bernie, focus !!! group !!! forever !!!!, focus groups rule everything around me, illary, Rihanna, stax on stax on stax
Re-enter the real world after your finals today with another senior wisdom from an outgoing senior! We bring you Emma Sulkowicz and her words of wisdom this Monday night.
Name, School, Major, Hometown: Emma Sulkowicz, CC, Visual Arts, New York, NY
Claim to fame: None.
Where are you going? I’m going to stay in New York for a bit and chill out after the craziest year I’ve ever had.
What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2019?
1. Feminism is cool, and super important. Try a class with Rosalyn Deutsche if you want to see why feminism is so cool! She was the first person to explain it in a way that made sense to me.
2. It’s impossible to make change and stay sane without the right support. I would be nothing without my friends and the professors who guided me. They’ve taught me more than I could have ever learned just in class.
3. We all freak out because we feel friendless at some point. I know just as well as anyone: that feeling of being too weak and depressed to get out of bed in the morning, or the feeling of waking up on a wet pillow soaked with tears. But you all are loved. You all might be mired in shit right now, but I promise you that you are loved. Your real friends get that you’re not perfect, and that’s why they love you.
“Back in my day…” ADP was cool.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I’ll never justify my existence through words. I hope my actions speak louder than my words ever will.
Pissed at a professor? At your unfinished essay? At this goddamn institution? Take a look at these cathartic online account-inspired representations of the many “the man” we have here on campus. It doesn’t just start and end with the admin… peep some
slightly fabricated accounts of our favorite neighborhood spots here too!
UNIs and Other Email Addresses:
Ricardo Morales: RickyRoo42@columbia.safety.net
Dean Hinkson: YaIPostYoutubeVidsFromMyDesk@barnard.edu
Financial Aid Office: email@example.com
Diana Center: firstname.lastname@example.org
International Wines & Spirits: email@example.com
Deantini’s personal email that he uses for his Spotify account: firstname.lastname@example.org
Follow them on Twitter:
Suzanne Goldberg: @sex_is_like_a_traffic_light_911
Lee Bollinger: @TheLastTimeIWasInMoHiWas2007
Dean Hinkson: @tinydeskseries
Mel’s Burger Bar: @OperationFindMagic
Financial Aid Office: @WeCrushUrDreamz
Lerner: @Mark_Lerner_Official1 (we heard this was a troll account, though)
If you name that movie quote correctly this Bwog staffer might marry you via Shutterstock
Earlier today the School of General Studies announced its Phi Beta Kappa inductees for this year’s graduating class. Fifty cool and smart seniors were selected to receive this high honor and, similarly to CC’s Phi Beta Kappa members, were granted membership based on “the breadth, depth, and rigor of their academic programs, as well as faculty recommendations from those who work closely with them.” Turns out there’s not much difference between GS and CC after all!
Congratulations to these superstar seniors, and if you see any of the people named below be sure to give them a tender pat on the back for all their integrity, intelligence, and devotion to office hours.
Take some afternoon senior wisdom from outgoing SGA President, Julia Qian!
Name, School, Major, Hometown: Julia Qian, Barnard College, History, Athena Scholar, Hangzhou, China (that’s where Alibaba was founded, just saying)
Claim to fame: SGA prez for 2014-2015, a proud member of Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, Senior Interviewer, Global Symposium Fellow…
Where are you going? On my way to get a Claudia’s pick-me-up before monday morning 9am meeting for SGA.
What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2019?
1. Pause and be kind. Leave your room 10 minutes early for classes so you can actually engage in a small conversation when you pass by a friend instead of “hi, bye, I gotta go.” Make it a daily routine to do something for another person, whether big or small.
2. Learn to appreciate, and pay forward. It is truly a blessing to be surrounded by such passionate, committed and courageous individuals. Cherish this community and whenever you can, pay forward.
3. Fail harder. A very close friend of mine shared this piece of wisdom with me. It is OK to fail. Try new things, embrace new ideas, challenge different perspectives, take risks and fail harder.
Taken from the real-life, special sock collection of a real-life, special Bwogger.
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