May

5

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There's something you meant to do, right? Oh, yeah, course evals!

There’s something you meant to do, right? Oh, yeah, course evals!

Hey guys, we know that finals are among us and if you’re not passed out, in a booth at 1020, trying to study, or doing some mixture of the three, you should fill out your course evaluations. While the evals will appear “anonymous” to your professors, they can still read what you write. So don’t go too far. Or, if you’re really frustrated—looking at you, Mowsh bio kids—use this as a platform for expressing your discontent. Just remember, constructive criticism is best!

Your professors want to teach better and grow as academics, for the most part. It’s sorta their job, after all. So fill out those course evals! You won’t regret it.

Pondering whether to curse at your prof via martinak15 / CC-BY-2.0

May

4

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Marc Heinrich (1)

USenator, Loyal Friend, and feckless comment-reader Marc Heinrich wants to endow you procrastinators with some wisdom. He talks work-life balance, leadership, and asbestos, among other topics. Check out our other wisdoms for more ruminations.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Marc Heinrich, Columbia College, Political Science & History, New York, NY

Claim to fame: University Senator, AEPi Brother, semester-long EIC of the Undergraduate Law Review, Proud Bacardi Enthusiast, Sofia Vergara fan (I once woke up at 5:30 am to see her)

Where are you going? Moving to Washington D.C. and going into consulting (I know, shocking coming from Columbia).

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2020?

1. Be a Good and Loyal Friend. I really can’t stress this one enough, and I always try to remember this as I interact with people. If someone you’re close to needs help, you should drop everything to do so. Your paper can wait and you can come back early from whatever bar you’re at (hopefully not 1020), but being there for the people you care about is really the most important personality trait someone can have. It’s also what separates a regular friendship from one who will truly mean a lot to you past Columbia. The only times I’ve ever stayed up past 5am at Columbia have been to help friends with issues they were having and I’ve never once regretted it.

More wiz after the jump

May

4

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Our notes at the beginning of the year....

Our notes at the beginning of the year….

It’s Reading Week, you’re looking through your notes, and you realize much of what you scribbled down is illegible, strange, or undecipherable. Even more of it is just amusing. Below are some of your classmates’ notes, which are by turns sad, excited, mean, and strangely enough, helpful. 

Life Mottos

  • “Mitochondria Are the Powerhouse of the Cell.” (in five different places during Bio)
  • “Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”
  • Taking up two lines of notebook space: “What about circlejerks”
  • “what is shrek”
  • “hello it’s me communism here to take ur cows eat ur grain oppress ur friends shit on ur rights”

Classmates (and Professors): Can’t Live With Them

  • “[White guy in class]: ‘being a minority is hard'”
  • “Two random dudes in 1900 debate the penis/universe size”
  • “At an elite university the worst thing to say is to call someone elitist. Interesting”
  • “Let’s talk about beastiality!”
  • “We’re listening to Cabinet Battle #1 from Hamilton instead of getting historical context on The Federalist Papers”

What other useless bits of information have we written down?

May

4

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Eva Kalikoff (1)

Still scribbling out her thesis, Barnard senior and “self-hating Jew” Eva Kalikoff took a few minutes to share some thoughts about activism, sushi, and Senior Scramble. Let her wisdom blow you away, and peruse our library of knowledge at your leisure. 

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Eva Kalikoff, Barnard College, Comparative Literature, Hastings-on-Hudson, NY

Claim to fame: I spent a lot of time shouting about separating zionism from Judaism, both on College Walk and Facebook. I created a Jewish community for people with dissenting opinions on Israel, while simultaneously being called a Nazi and a self-hating Jew by parents who should not be allowed on the internet and my beloved fellow classmates at this glorious elitist institution (@Kraft Center what’s good???). I tweeted angrily throughout the 600 fire of 2015, which quickly squashed the possibility for realizing any culinary ambitions that involved an oven, and also saw the end of Ollie’s (RIP MSG in everything). I started as an idealistic Spec City News reporter with ambitions of Managing Board glory. Instead, I watched that corporatized ship sink in front of me. I learned a lot about local politics and Community Board 7 along the way, though.

Where are you going? Get back to me after I’ve turned in my thesis.

Tips and insight after the jump

May

4

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The Piano Lounge has never been this dreamy

The Piano Lounge has never been this dreamy

Live At Lerner presents Final Sounds: Alpenglow today from 1 to 2 pm in the Lerner Piano Lounge. If you haven’t been keeping up, Live At Lerner is a live performance series that has featured both established and up-and-coming artists all year, mostly in the Piano Lounge, but occasionally outdoors; they’ve had a pretty good run this year. Today’s performer, Alpenglow, is an interesting note to end on: the band’s early music is spacious, slow, and meandering, while its later music, influenced by the city, is more beat- and tone-focused. Whatever they play today, it should take your mind off finals for an hour, and hopefully destress you a bit before you delve into the beast that is Butler. Sit back a little!

Fun fact: “In Vermont, Alpenglow practiced in an old stone mill from the 1800s with vaulted ceilings, wooden beams, and massive windows overlooking a waterfall.”

Another fun fact: Lunch will be served.

May

4

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wow u really don't know physics

wow u really don’t know physics

It’s Day 2 of Reading Week! We know you probably don’t believe in yourself but that’s okay, because we have enough faith in you to power Butler for an entire week. Get out of bed, go to that study group, write 6 pages of your paper, and smash that mf final! Alternatively, listen to mopey songs right before you go to bed and never get back the Lit Hum books you loaned out to friends.

Bwogline: R.I.P. to the presidential candidacy of Ted Cruz, murdered by Donald Trump’s electoral prowess—it was a blast, full of great memes, awkward handshakes, and flashbacks to our former roommates. Don’t go! Is something we would have cried out if we liked you. (CNN)

Study Tip: Make a detailed list of all the things you’re going to get done today, and in what order you’ll do them. Actually write it out. Be overambitious so when you inevitably fall short, you’re not that far behind. Physical list-making is one way to keep on top of all your responsibilities and stay motivated, and nothing feels better than crossing off an item from a list! Don’t forget to castigate yourself if you catch yourself watching another episode of Silicon Valley. 

Procrastinate: Make sure you’ve uploaded all of your financial aid documents for next year! The deadline is May 5. On a less practical note, name yourself “Obamacare” or “The Donald” and get to swallowing up others of your kind in an attempt to be the biggest and best there ever was—it’s a microcosm of Columbia.

Music: Feeling alone and unlovable, young and defiant, or pining for that NoCo cutie? If it’s not that late yet, listen to this Bollywood crowd-pleaser to get pumped up for your 15 page Anthropology term paper (put on autoplay to end up in places you would never expect).

Overseen: A couple furiously making out in front of us at Butler, and a disgusted international student walking out in response. Butler is not for love!!

May

3

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Hannah Cohen

In our next Senior Wisdom, Hannah Cohen discusses being named after a Hebrew alcoholic and why becoming dependent on substances is not a great thing. Plus some stuff about finding yourself, true self knowledge, and just plain out connecting with other members of the Columbia community.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Hannah Jane Cohen, CC, Earth Science and Film Studies, Central Perk.

Claim to fame:

  • Most tattooed member of CC.
  • The person who abruptly disappeared junior year and never came back.
  • A ton of people (including professors) think I dropped out—I didn’t? Surprise
  • (Former) COÖP leader—sorry for dropping out, guys.
  • Incredibly antisocial new member of the class of 2016. Most of you probably have no idea who I am. In that case, hi. Check me out at hannahjanecohen.com

Click here for more of this cool cat

May

3

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While Butler reeks of stress and procrastination (and also genuine butt), CUMB has perfumed our moods with some comedic relief by releasing some of the second round of Orgo Night posters. There is a notable absence of highly offensive jokes–are CUMB and controversy on a hiatus? Regardless, we’re sure they’ll be back together this Thursday at 11:59 pm. See you in Butler 209!

May

3

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Wake up! Find a seat in Butler! Only three days until finals!

Wake up! Find a seat in Butler! Only three days until finals!

As today is the first day of Reading Week (or Reading Three Days), and likely the first day you realized you seriously needed to get your act together and start studying. To help you on this seemingly futile quest, Bwogger Betsy Ladyzhets has put together a playlist of instrumental music that’s at once motivational and not distracting. The playlist is, in total, about three hours long, and includes familiar movie soundtracks, famous classical pieces, and a few less famous classical pieces.

Here are some highlights:

  • Pacific Rim Theme, Ramin Djawadi – What better way to start studying than with the theme from a movie about giant robots fighting giant monsters in an epic battle for humankind’s survival? Cancel the apocalypse. Fight the hurricane. Start your paper. These things are about equivalent.
  • James Bond Theme, John Barry Orchestra – Not sure how to start that problem? Maybe try sneaking up on it. Using your fists instead of your guns. Shouting witty one-liners.
  • Children’s March, Percy Grainger – The kind of wind ensemble piece that just keeps going – first growing in intensity, peaking, then falling, much like your motivation when you tell yourself that there are still two more reading days before your first final. (Listen to those French horns, though.)
  • The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, Philharmonia Orchestra – Remember that scene from Fantasia 2000 with the dancing brooms? Imagine the brooms are your professors, taunting you to try harder.
  • I Am the Doctor, Murray Gold – It’s no longer cool to like Doctor Who (did anyone even watch the newest season?), but that doesn’t stop the music from being incredible.
  • Rockelbel’s Canon (Pachelbel’s Canon), Steven Sharp Nelson – The Piano Guys’ cover of Pachelbel’s Canon – both more fun to listen to and more fun to play, if you’re a cellist.
  • Bolero (Ravel), London Symphony Orchestra – Imagine you’re the snare drum player in this piece. No matter what happens, you just have to keep going. Don’t lose your rhythm.
  • Arrival of the Birds, City of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra – May sound like a familiar movie soundtrack, because it’s been ripped off by multiple composers. But for good reason – it’s pretty, and the repeating melodies can help you lose track of time.
  • My Neighbor Totoro Suite, Eminence Symphony Orchestra – Remember how great Miyazaki movies are? How fun and happy? That’s how you’ll feel when you’re done with finals.
  • Foundry, John Mackey  This is one of those band pieces that has more percussion parts than actual wind parts (including a “clang,” vibraslap, whip, and “rattling metal objects.”) If you started to drift off, it’ll definitely wake you up.
  • Brothers in Arms (Mad Max: Fury Road Soundtrack), Tom Holkenborg – If Furiosa and Max can fight off hundreds of adversaries with just one huge truck, you can finish this problem set. Or at least, this problem.
  • Tam O’Shanter, US Air Force Heritage of America Band – This piece tells the story of a drunk Irish man walking home from the pub through a dark, creepy forest, chased by a pack of witches. No joke.

May

3

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Freida SteinerThe sage soliciting of Senior Wisdoms continues as Freida Steiner, who we can (sarcastically) say salivates over an inferior and less savory Diana pizza, shares a sample of her seeds of sagacity. 

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Freida Steiner // Barnard // Sociology // Ann Arbor, MI (Go Blue!)

Claim to fame: You ran into me in the Diana/Liz’s Place at least once in your time here, whether you know it or not.

Where are you going? Back to high school

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2020?

  1. To spell bureaucracy correctly on the first try. And that it will take many semesters before that kind of feat is possible.
  2. Diana BBQ chicken pizza will fix any bad day.
  3. It’s the people you meet here who will make your experience a great one. While you may have beef with the admin or with the institution as a whole, don’t let that sour the amazing lessons you’ll learn and relationships you’ll form with other students and staff and faculty. I feel so lucky to have been able to share space with these people. It feels like a privilege to have friends who are also your role models.

Bold beautiful Barnard below

May

3

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j75vIc8

Gold star for effort to SGA this year!

Bwog’s ever faithful Barnard Bearoness, Raji Ganapathy, watched in (figurative) tears as SGA happenings drew to a close this year. But in a final meeting which seemed to sum up the tropes of this year’s SGA, a guest speaker was heard, questions asked, and resolutions pushed out of SGA’s “normal” meeting.

As classes draw to a close and finals loom ever closer, the shadows lengthen on SGA happenings for this year, and this Barnard Bearoness is surely sad to see them go. This Monday, the 2015-2016 Rep Council gathered for the last time on the second floor of Diana to tie up loose ends from this year. We started with a discussion with guest speaker Frances Sadler (BC ‘72), a Trustee and the Board’s Co-Chair of the Committee for Campus Life. During her time at Barnard, Sadler majored in psychology and was known for her involvement with BOSS. She also was a participant in the newly established Education Program, going on to work as a public school teacher after graduation.

The Board of Trustees’ Committee for Campus Life conducts research regarding campus life concerns, and presents this information to the rest of the Board so that they can make informed decisions. Sadler stressed that the Committee for Campus Life aimed to be open to student input and that she considered it “…really important that students find and use their voice.” The Committee for Campus Life is currently looking to address issues of mental health resources and support on campus.

After presenting an overview of the responsibilities of her position, Sadler responded to several questions raised by SGA members. One issue in particular was clarification on how exactly the Board of Trustees incorporates student input during policy formation. Sadler replied that for her committee, students are often invited to share their opinions. When asked by SGA President Shivani Vikuntam to elaborate on the selection process by which students are invited to attend Committee meetings, Sadler stated that the process was inconsistent, but that she generally reaches out to Dean Hinkson and takes into account her recommendation on whether any particular student groups should be included in the conversation.

More SGA after the jump

May

3

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Ah yes we love art just like V Show does.

Ah yes we love art just like V Show does.

It’s finally finals season, a time of reckoning, a time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance, a time to—well, you get the idea. It’s not great, by any means, and if you’re anything like us, each of your six professors expects 30% of your total time and effort. Now, we’re not mathematics majors, but that just doesn’t seem to numerically work out. Regardless, Bwog in Bed is back to provide you with some form of (temporary) relief. 

Bwogline: Protestors, mostly peaceful, gave two choices to the Iraqi parliament: reform or face annihilation. The protestors, who support the reform agenda of Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi, left the Green Zone Baghdadi citadel on Sunday, threatening to return if their demands were not met. Who knows if the sectarian divisions incorporated into Iraqi government will be able to reconcile with this turn in events. (NYT)

Study Tip: Finals is really a tough time. Now, we don’t encourage an excess of physically negative behaviors, but spend theses one or two weeks focusing on what makes you comfortable and prepares you best emotionally, mentally, and intellectually for these upcoming exams. Taking a coffee or cigarette break should be just that, a break from stress and worry. And that’s okay! In moderation, nobody will think the less of you.

Procrastinate: Was it even a question of what we were going to suggest first? Two words. Invisible. Cows.

Overheard: “The biggest problem at this school is that nobody knows how to walk.”

Overseen: V Show crew did something (seen above) last night. And we even wrote about it, too!

Leaning statue of V Show via Bwog Staff

May

2

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How we feel about finals

How we feel about finals

Not only is today the last day of classes, it also marks the last field notes post of the semester. Or maybe even the last field notes post ever? Who can say. We here at Bwog are ready for the world to spiral into the hot, fiery embrace of the inferno or cold, dark embrace of the void at any moment.

Some Say The World Will End In Fire:

  • Twerked in the stacks with a male ballerina from Botswana at 3 am on thursday
  • Went to a blind date of books (where mystery books in brown paper wrapping are sold with vague descriptions) at Housing Works, and told people which one was Knausgård’s book. The package I bought ended up being This Is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz.
  • Messaged my SEAS friend the UNI of a CC person so she could receive a giveaway item, which she shamefully and discreetly shoved into her bag.
  • Learned about chia seeds
  • Started watching Call the Midwife.
  • Spent my last dollars on afternoon tea
  • Played table tennis (badly) at Hartley for an hour.
  • Went to dinosaurs among us at the Natural History Museum and was in a constant state of ecstasy the entire time
  • Wrote up a constitution for a new club! Exciting!
  • Convinced someone I was a Danish bartender when I am neither (ploy worked, number secured)
  • Bonded with my friend over how both of us are dating people who really like The Catcher in the Rye.
  • Left the city to visit my grandmother in CT and remembered how much of a bleeding heart liberal she is and how much I love her for it
  • Went to bed at 10 am on Friday morning, 4 am on Saturday morning, and 5 am on Sunday morning.
  • Saw an old man man spreading in the subway and angrily told him multiple times to close his legs until he did and sat next to him while listening to Lemonade
  • Found out who runs @BCMagnoliaTree and actually cried.

Colder field notes are after the jump

May

2

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Suze Myers (1)

The face of a woman who knows what she’s doing

The wisdom continues with Suze Myers – Zine clubber, librarian enthusiast, and social media expert. (Does she run the Barnlib Twitter? Does she run something even better? You’ll have to read on to find out.)

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Suze Myers, Barnard, Art History, Huntsville, AL

Claim to fame: Head cheerleader of the Barnard Zine Club, and the #1 student library worker in the tri-state area. Maybe not #1 but probably top ten. Also a graphic designer, and also a total babe.

Where are you going? I’m moving to London to study design.

What was that about running Twitters?

May

2

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We imagine CCSC presented their Paper Plate awards on Pantone 292 paper plates, not unlike these

We imagine CCSC presented their Paper Plate Awards on Pantone 292 paper plates, not unlike these

It’s the end of the semester, and we’re all unraveling a little bit – stress about exams, end-of-semester projects, and those ever-looming course evaluations is really getting to us. It appears that CCSC might not be so different – a simple discussion about the Sandwich Ambassador nearly drove CCSC into chaos. But the council still came together to celebrate their accomplishments and present Paper Plate Awards (CCSC’s version of superlatives) at the end of the meeting. Throughout this high-emotion meeting, Bureau Chief Joe Milholland remained calm and collected, and his coverage is as stellar as ever.

Partway through a discussion about whether or not to rename the Sandwich Ambassador at last night’s Columbia College Student College Council meeting, VP of Finance Sameer Mishra motioned to vote for abolishing the position entirely. “Since there’s no written text [of a proposal to change the constitution], by Robert’s Rules, that’s out of order,” said University Senator Marc Heinrich, who got several cheers and claps from CCSC members at this deceleration.

At this point, CCSC broke out into a chaos of different voices and opinions, mostly concerning whether they needed a written proposal to change the name of the Sandwich Ambassador. Heinrich motioned to abolish VP of Finance at one point. [Update: since I’ve been asked to clarify, Heinrich’s proposal to abolish the VP of Finance was purely a joke, as was the the proposal below to abolish CCSC].

“I’m going to continue discussion. In the meantime, if anyone writes up any written amendments… [he was interrupted by arguments about the agenda] … We’re going to go down the speaker’s list,” said CCSC President Ben Makansi, trying to return the discussion to normalcy. Unfortunately, for the next name on the speaker’s list, someone had written “Lee.”

Where is Prezbo in CCSC’s time of need?

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