"I am so glad we signed up for Calc II, this textbook is a riot!"

Like the leaves fluttering to the ground so our laughter falls away as we bury our noses in textbooks. But not necessarily—sometimes textbooks say weird and amazing shit. Take this quote from Empire City (assigned by Prof Ken Jackson for his perennial favorite ‘History of the City of New York’ class) which describes Columbia’s colorful past:

The college, tho’ only one third of the plan is compleat (sic), makes a fine appearance, on one of the finest situations perhaps of any college in the world. [...] One circumstance I think is a little unlucky, the enterance (sic) to this college is thro’ one of the streets where the most noted prostitutes live. This is certainly a temptation to the youth that have occasion to pass so often that way.

If you find similar hilarity, whether informative or bizarre, send it our way.

Unintentional theme of toddlers continued via Wikimedia

It's V at Wall Street!

If you don’t feel like going to class, there’s still plenty for you to do today.

You missed a chance to bike through New York City with Kenneth Jackson’s History of New York class, although you may consider motorcycling. (WSJ, NYPost)

Speaking of pedaling, Columbia’s decided to moderate staff benefit cuts it announced in April. (Spec)

Or you can pay a visit down to Wall Street, the closest you’ll get to a revolution a la the Middle East in the States. (UPI)

…not that security—aviation or otherwise—is an issue here. (PIX)

And the commute won’t be as bad, either. (NY Times)

And if you still can’t find something to do in the city, it’s probably best  to apply to a study abroad program. Everyone wants you to, anyway. (HuffPo)

Celebrity sighting via Wikimedia Commons

Barnard girls just can’t decide who they want to be president — lets hope no one demands a recount (Spec).

Rich people are getting old men arrested for trying to save cats (NY Post).

Columbia students are allowed to go places no one else gets to go, but not on the South Lawn (Spec).

Super Size Me be damned, Moms claim that McDonald’s is actually good for you (NY Daily News).

“It’s just a cultural thing”: H&H sells more bagels on Yom Kippur than on any other day of the year (NYT).

OK, not forever, but for the semester at least, and Professor Jackson’s concluding session contained a bonanza of “editorials” for the gathered masses in 417 IAB.

On why people aren’t moving to the suburbs to get away from Jews, Italians, and black people any more because of 9/11: “I think Americans are simpleminded. We can only hate one people at a time.”

On why a later average age of marriage draws people to the cities: “When I was your age, you got married. Partly for sex, but partly to play house…Once you’ve gotten gotten married and had sex, you’ve got a baby, and the suburbs are starting to look a lot better.”

“If you’re not married, you don’t want to stay home and take care of the stuff, you want to be like Carrie or Samantha.”

The class clapped for a long time after he finished the lecture. What a charmer!