Just as spring break is beginning to reveal itself, so, too, are the lawns—six five weeks after Groundhog Day. Coincidence, conspiracy, or completely meaningless counting error? You decide, though it certainly hasn’t felt like winter the past couple weeks. Facilities is pulling back the tarps, right as it’s beginning to heat up—highs of 58 expected today, with temperatures potentially reaching 65 tomorrow!

Photo by Steele Sternberg

Well, easy come easy go. With just one day left before the end of the semester, the tarp-less streak has come to an end as the South Lawn waved the white flag of surrender. Before we could get a response from Facilities regarding their absence, several tipsters informed us that the tarps were brought out this morning.

While a bleak sight, perhaps it is simply part of Facilities’ scheme to make it snow in time for a white Christmas. With one day of finals left, never forget the power of positive thinking.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

In the latest installment of In Defense Of, Brian Wagner endeavors to defend the indefensible, and redeem the much-maligned. Yesterday the lawns were liberated! Today, a pathetic attempt at snow sprinkles the grass. You don’t know what you got till it’s gone…

Each year, when the fall weather starts to rear its ugly head, Facilities rolls out those great white beasts: the tarps. And each year, people groan and grumble. The sheets themselves really aren’t any sort of troublemakers. Sure, they prevent you from frolicking in the fields, but by the time they’re down, it’s probably too cold for that anyway. Perhaps it isn’t the tarps themselves that bother us, but rather what they represent. They blanket the lawns for 5-ish months, a large portion of the school year, as a reminder that the weather really isn’t fantastic for most of the time we spend here. The laying of the tarps is a sign that we too must begin buckling down for the long, seemingly endless stretch of cold, darkness, and lonely despair that meteorologists refer to as winter.

That said, do the tarps really deserve all the hate? They’re on the lawns for one reason: snow. And when that snow does fall, they’re suddenly a site of glory. As the first flurries flutter down to earth and begin to coat the ground, we can look out onto the lawns and already behold what appears to be a winter wonderland. Once more snow has fallen, the tarps provide us with places to glide, play, and build snow phalli—  a big old snow dick looks much more at home against a white, fluffy background than it would wallowing on a patch of dead lawn. The tarp’s slight sheen reflects the moonlight as you trudge home Butler. Plus, when the ice starts to melt, the tarps still look like they’re covered under a soft blanket of winter weather. The illusion remains! Snow is the most beautiful part of the dark months, and these pallid lawn-dwellers help to make it look even more dazzling.

(more…)

…Walk upon the lawns’ tranquil green:
And was the holy sunbather,
On campus’ pleasant pastures seen!

At last! The tarps are coming off this morning

P.S. Please excuse us while we rain on the parade:

Photo by BV

Goodbye lawns, we barely knew ye. See you in the spring!

They’re baaaack!

Say goodbye to the lawns. The feared Tarpaulinus hideousinus is out and about.

Photo by DH