Word has it that it costs the university 15 cents in used energy every time you press the handicapped button to open the doors into John Jay or Butler.

Tuition for a full year is about $40,000, which equals 266,666 door openings.

If you figure that it takes the door 5 seconds to open and close, it would take you 370.37 hours to use up all of that money, or about 46 days of pressing the button constantly from 9AM to 5PM.

This wouldn’t get your money back, though. You can only do that by
1. Stealing toilet paper.
2. Telling the clerk at Ferris it’s regular cream cheese when it’s
really the expensive kind.

Lydia Depillis & Beth Milton