Written by

convocIn which Bwog allows you to feel like you were there without actually having to sit through it.

Chris Colombo, Dean of Student Affairs: lived up to his Sopranos-worthy name by welcoming all ’10-ers to the family.

Cindy Horowitz, head of NSOP: do we even have a pre-law major?  Sweet, but why is there a sophomore running the show this year?

Kwame Spearman, alumnus: kids and parents ate up his facebook jokes and smooth oratorical stylings.  Money quote: “I’ll tell you a few things after your parents leave… but we’ll talk about that later.”  Hitting on the first-years before classes have even started.  Good luck at Yale, Kwame.

Austin Quigley, Dean of Columbia College:
killed, as always.  With that accent, he could read the phonebook and the parents would be impressed.

Zvi Galil, Dean of SEAS: he envies you.  And when you engineers are bombarded with his emails, don’t say he didn’t warn you.

Lee “PrezBo” Bollinger, President of Columbia University: plugged Brinkley’s book review in the times before he got around to welcoming the new crop of students, but a very nice speech overall.  The hair looked great, the pop culture references were spot-on, and he actually uttered the phrase “just keeping it real, dawg.”  Gotta love an academic who can quote American Idol and be self-aware about it.

Roll on Columbia, muddled ditty: don’t feel bad freshies, no one knows the words.  And if you avoid pre-Homecoming pep rallies, you’ll never have to hear it again.

Convocation, a “tradition” started at Columbia four years ago, has been the same ever since: always too long, and always humid.  But you’ll never feel so welcome at Columbia.  Congratulations, class of 2010—Bwog’s happy you’re here too.

Tags: , , , , , ,


  1. hmm

    "Convocation, a "tradition" started at Columbia four years ago"

    Columbia's Oldest Tradition- Letting traditions die before reviving them years later in an attempt to appear to have 'traditions.'

    Most Columbia traditions only go back at most 20 years...

    No there isnt a pre-law major.

    Last year Columbo trotted to the podium, surveyed the crowd and boldly announced "I am Dean Columbo." I waited for egomaniacal laughter to follow and was disappointed. At no point did he manage to actually say "Welcome to Columbia Class of 2010", instead telling everyone what a wonderful group the NSOP organizers were and various other organizations involved.

    Then again, what did you expect from someone who's title is dean of Student AFFAIRS.


  2. whoah

    has bwog enabled HTML?

  3. test  

    Has bwog enabled HTML?

  4. nah

    its the usual- if you have an open bracket, it deletes everything after. so don't try to *heart* or nothing.

  5. Anonymous

    I have now attended convocation all four years.

  6. R!ck  

    Oopsies, I didn't attend.

© 2006-2015 Blue and White Publishing Inc.