In which Bwog allows you to feel like you were there without actually having to sit through it.

Chris Colombo, Dean of Student Affairs: lived up to his Sopranos-worthy name by welcoming all ’10-ers to the family.

Cindy Horowitz, head of NSOP: do we even have a pre-law major?  Sweet, but why is there a sophomore running the show this year?

Kwame Spearman, alumnus: kids and parents ate up his facebook jokes and smooth oratorical stylings.  Money quote: “I’ll tell you a few things after your parents leave… but we’ll talk about that later.”  Hitting on the first-years before classes have even started.  Good luck at Yale, Kwame.



Austin Quigley, Dean of Columbia College: killed, as always.  With that accent, he could read the phonebook and the parents would be impressed.

Zvi Galil, Dean of SEAS: he envies you.  And when you engineers are bombarded with his emails, don’t say he didn’t warn you.

Lee “PrezBo” Bollinger, President of Columbia University: plugged Brinkley’s book review in the times before he got around to welcoming the new crop of students, but a very nice speech overall.  The hair looked great, the pop culture references were spot-on, and he actually uttered the phrase “just keeping it real, dawg.”  Gotta love an academic who can quote American Idol and be self-aware about it.

Roll on Columbia, muddled ditty: don’t feel bad freshies, no one knows the words.  And if you avoid pre-Homecoming pep rallies, you’ll never have to hear it again.

Convocation, a “tradition” started at Columbia four years ago, has been the same ever since: always too long, and always humid.  But you’ll never feel so welcome at Columbia.  Congratulations, class of 2010—Bwog’s happy you’re here too.