Sep

25

Special Gossip: Frustration Edition.

Written by

spermOverheard! in Café 212:

Girl 1: It really sucks that Anna Nicole Smith’s kid died.

Girl 2: How’d he die?

Girl 1: He overdosed on drugs.

Passing Boy: If Anna Nicole Smith was my mom, I’d probably

do drugs too.

[Girls 1, 2 stare as passing boy passes by.]

Overheard! outside of Carman:

[Mobile phone.] “Well, I went to talk to my advisor today, and he wasn’t even there! The secretary lady told me I’d have to come back with a form, but I’m not sure which form she means—I was going to ask the advisor! Ugghh, Columbia! There’s just so much… What’s the word? Bureaucracy!”

Columbia: a school of hard knocks and unwittingly repetitive railers.

Overheard! on the west end of the Low Library steps:

[Mobile phone.] “What do you mean she doesn’t want the Nobel!”

Overheard! at the EC security desk:

Male Security Guard: The more you drink, the better you look. And I would know, as I’ve been drunk many a times.

Some Preppy Guy: …

Overheard! in Intermediate Macroeconomics:

Xavier Sala-I-Martin: But even sperm, you put a helmet on sperm, you get no cookies!

Warm thanks and congratulations to tipsters Brandie Moreno, Taylor Walsh, Seth Berliner, John Shekitka, and John Klopfer. Send us your gossip, one and all!

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12 Comments

  1. Anna  

    I really want to know more about this person that rejected the Nobel...

    I would also like to know what the heck Sala-I-Martin was talking about.

    • shah-b-a  

      I *think* that the point he was trying to make was that no matter how good the educational opportunities we provide for those in impoverished nations, the biggest investment is the investment of TIME.

      So even if we provide sperm with all the helmuts (education) they need to work, they still can't produce cookies (Xavier's way of saying "GDP") because of their...er, young age.

      I could be totally off.

  2. the last  

    time i saw "sperm" and "cookies" in the same sentence was when someone described a rather sick game involving a cookie and several aroused men. The exact name escapes me, perhaps fortunately.

  3. Anonymous  

    It's "soggy cookie". Cousin to "soggy waffle" and "soggy biscuit".

  4. eww  

    I've always heard it called ookie-cookie,

  5. rp  

    or some people refer to it as a circle jerk

  6. Xavier  

    was talking about one possible counter-argument to a possible counter-argument to the Solow's neoclassical strand of production models...I think. Idk I was too busy squinting at Sala-i-Martin's suit.

  7. ans  

    Enough about anna nicole smith. let's speculate some more about freshman mark.

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