smokey

Let’s not kid ourselves- we’ve all been rudely awoken by the ungodly shrieking of a fire alarm and we’ve all cursed the name and bodily person of the (usually) faceless, unknown culprits. But, thanks to the personal touch of Columbia Housing and Dining, fire alarm emails have recently included the specific suite numbers of the culpable parties and awesomely withering summations of their crimes.

On Saturday, the EC alarm went off three times in the span of three hours. According to the email that EC residents received, the alarms went off at 8:35, 9:33, and 10:32 PM, and, for the first two alarms at least, the FDNY determined that they were caused by:

“careless cooking by a resident of suite 1202-1203 on the 12th floor.”

On Saturday and Tuesday, the Hartley alarm went off at 8:55 and 11:07 PM, respectively. Caused by…

“careless cooking by a resident of suite on the 8th floor” and “careless cooking by a resident of suite 8-C on the 8th floor”

Perhaps this is Housing and Dining’s form of the public pillory. Careless cookers everywhere beware.