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Vigilantism strikes yet again at Columbia, this time on Schapiro 7. From a note pushpinned to the kitchen wall of that fateful floor, penned in forest green marker:
“If you leave your dirty dishes in the sink for two (2) days, they will disappear for two (2) weeks. Thank you for your (non) cooperation, you dirty sons-of-bitches. Signed, The Management (Big Brother)”
Our correspondent notes definitively that “The Management” does not refer to the floor’s R.A., but remarks that “the WB should start designing a costume for this masked vigilante,” and would not be “surprised if the next note is written in blood”.
Meanwhile, from the unlikely-to-be-a-vigilante department, a student wielding an ironically sophisticated cellphone, overheard in Lerner Hall:
“Hi, mom? What time is it? Ah, thanks, bye.”
Finally, news from the frightening world beyond 110th Street: Columbia’s star rises in Britain, vaulting from #20 to #12 on The Times‘ world universities rankings list, while Disney’s falls ignominiously (two words: “mouse orgy”) in France. We have but one comment on that last bit- shame on you, Reuters, how could anyone confuse Chip and Dale?
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7 Comments
@Anonymous I hate people who approach the dish situation passive aggressively. It is really annoying. By a grown up, talk to whomever is leaving the dishes in the sink and tell them to wash them more often.
One of my freshman year roomates stole the suite xbox when she became frustrated with the post-party mess that was there the next day.
“the management”. douche.
@Cam What if you don’t know who’s doing it?
@chip vs dale chip has the black nose, like a chocolate chip. everyone knows that.
@slow news day?
@kinda got any tips?
@"What time is it?" Could refer to an event. As in, “What time is the event taking place?”
@nah it’s all about tone and inflection. he asked it with his voice raising at the end, like he actually wanted to know where the little and big hands were on the clock.