As the weather warms and the tumbleweeds jangle their way down College Walk, a question remains: what’n the hell are all these people still doing here? In what could very well turn out to be the first (or, perhaps, last) of a series, Bwog attempts to answer this question–one interloper at a time. Our first subject is non-interloper Michael, who’s been valiantly guarding the vertical ghost-town known as Carman Hall.

Why are you here?

I’m doing what I do all year round–security. I act as a deterrent.

But wait–isn’t this building completely empty!?

At this point yes, but international students will be moving in over the next few days.

Creeped out by the emptiness of it all?

No. Trust me, when it’s fully occupied it’s hard enough. It’s like a relief for us now.

Anything you miss about the school year?

Interaction between me and the students. I see them when they come straight from high school and I watch them grow. I try to be like a guiding light for them.

Anything you don’t miss?

The noise. When you get five, six hundred people passing in and out it’s hard to concentrate.

Enlightening! More hard-hitting journalism as the summer progresses…