Sep

29

The Facebook Primary

Written by

It’s now time for Freshies to vote for CCSC 2011 and, armed with only 500 flyers and no money to spend, Facebook was bound to become a primary organizing tool.   Justin Vlasits surveyed the endless domain of the Internet to measure the standings of each ticket with less than a week until elections. Check back for coverage of the 2011 debate in John Jay Lounge on Sunday at 9 PM–we’ll be there with popcorn.



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RealColumbia Party

 

Members: 167

 

Ticket:

President: Vesal Yazdi

Vice President: Tania Harsono

Rep: Adina Levin

Rep: Alyssa LaMontagne

Rep: Davey Gibian

 

Outside website: N/A

 

Pros: Extensive (and most likely overly ambitious) platform including practical reforms such as expanding the hours of John Jay dining hall, JJ’s Place and Ferris Booth while also the exceedingly general “ease bureaucratic pressure on students.”  With three international students on the ticket (2 Canadian, 1 Aussie) and a footballin’ theme, they should have a stranglehold on Columbia’s Non Resident Alien voting block.

 

Cons: Only 6% of Columbia College is international.  Their platform is organized under the “Four Pillars of Reality,” which sound more like a postmodern adaptation of the Five Pillars of Islam than a political party’s central ideas. 


iColumbia Party

 


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Members: 152

 

Ticket:

President: Anna Ginzberg

Vice President: Amanda Olivo

Rep: Sean Udell

Rep: David Zhu

Rep: Michael Mirochink

 

Website

 

Pros: Mad Photoshop skillz (see picture) with the added bonus of partially invisible head.  Indeed, this tech-savvy party’s website has photographic evidence of their knowledge of the Low steps and Alma Mater!   David Zhu can also beatbox while playing flute.

 

Cons: Apple lawsuit pending.


Class Action

 


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Members: 145

 

Ticket:

President: Learned Foote

Vice President: Tom Amegadzie

Rep: Noah Baron

Rep: Sara Partridge

Rep: Melissa Im

 

Outside website

 

Pros: Best dressed.  This party has a few clear, attainable goals such as having Luau in Uris Pool and hiring an outside catering company to give free food before sunrise to those that observe Ramadan.

 

Cons: According to their website, Sara Partridge, a candidate for Representative, can predict the color of people’s underwear.    


Fight for Your Right Party

 


jkhMembers:
85

 

Ticket:

President: Lalit Gurnani

Vice President: Cailtlyn Shea Malcynsky

Rep: Lisa Weber

Rep: Eric Rosenberg

Rep: Shree Awsare

 

Outside website

 

Pros: Beastie Boys references are always a good way to rise in the political ranks.  Mike Gravel would be a shoe-in for the Dems nomination if his slogan was “All I really want is girls!”

 

Cons: None of their policy ideas have anything to do with parties. And their website doesn’t work despite the fact that they have four publicity organizers, two party organizers and a webmaster. And according to a JJ 14er, one party member takes the elevator to the 5th floor.


Columbia‘s 711 Open 24/7

Ticket:

President: Ankit Gupta

Vice President:

Rep: Nicholas Lall

Rep: Uloma Albii

Rep: Griff Curtis

No detectable facebook group. It’s not looking good for the convenience store constituency.

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49 Comments

  1. Dear 2011  

    Advice from an upperclassman:

    After reading the inane self-righteous bullshit written in the Spec by Vesal, I urge you not to give him the ego boost of an election. Otherwise, you risk having another Modesitt on your hands.

  2. how come  

    there was no coverage of the ESC 2011 elections?

  3. More  

    advice from an upperclassman:

    Don't put too much confidence in anyone promising to change Dining Hall hours. It just ain't happening.

  4. REAL COLUMBIA!!!!  

    VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE

    FOR FOR FOR FOR FOR FOR FOR FOR FOR

    REAL REAL REAL REAL REAL REAL REAL

    COLUMBIA COLUMBIA COLUMBIA COLUMBIA

  5. ahahaha  

    hit the "track" button - comments 4, 5, and 6 come from the same computer.

    What's up, Vesal? Bet you the election committee's gonna be real happy you're campaigning illegally.

  6. Hamilton  

    Vote for Alexander Hamilton! Because "only together can we fight in the revolution...only together can we launch a cannonball at Princeton."

  7. froshies suck

    that melissa chick is annoying. typical loud mouth, "miss popular" carman drunk gal. oh columbia, when will you stop admitting such lameos...

  8. Noobs  

    Oh ye Freshmen noobs! How I would love to see ye change dining hours and have flex off campus, and then take all the credit for it. No one has ever tried to do that before; it is the result of your one-month's work. Entirely.

  9. 3-20  

    Because nobody gives a toss about the ESC.

  10. I remember

    when I was a freshman, and thought I couldn't care about the student councils any less. How wrong I was! Watching their lame, resume-padding, do-nothing asses plastering the campus with obnoxious flyers, my apathy toward them has grown near-exponentially. Perhaps it is not apathy after all, but a complete and utter disdain for them and their kind.

  11. Sara Partridge  

    A few things:

    First, I completely agree with post #16 by Noobs. That's why two of our party's platform goals, using Flex points off campus and getting wireless signal in dormitories, we specifically state in our platform description that we plan to work in conjunction with CCSC and the Class of 2009 (respectively) to get each accomplished, because we know both initiatives are currently underway.

    Second, (in reply to #14) Melissa is one of my good friends (and a partymember) and she's one of the sweetest girls I know-- and though she's a very social person, she's definitely not a typical sloppy "Carman drunk gal." She's extremely conscientious and was the valedictorian at her (very large) highschool. No need to be so judgemental!

    And lastly, why is being able to predict the color of people's underwear a con? Not too bad if that's our ticket's biggest weakness.

  12. the Man

    To the freshmen:

    Take some advice from an alum who actually wielded power in the one student government organization on campus with any resume of accomplishments (ESC)... and no I'm not Dan Okin.

    DON'T LISTEN TO THEIR PLATFORMS! Freshmen councils are unable to do anything in the school except throw a few study breaks, and organize Winter Wonderland. The real power for change rests in the policy reps, senators, and the E-Boards and senior class members of the ESC, CCSC, and SGA... They are the ones who know the administrators and their way around the bureaucracy.

    I think its really funny that changing the dining hours of John Jay and JJ's has been an issue since 2003. Why is what is good for one class no longer good and/or convenient for subsequent classes of Columbians?

  13. Noah Baron

    In case there was any confusion, I'd like to emphasize that we have never stated that we intend to change the Dining Hall hours. We recognize that this would be extremely difficult. However, we still believe that there ought to be some way for Muslim students to eat breakfast during the month of Ramadan. This is why we intend on working on having a least /some/ form of dining to be open or available before sunrise.

  14. speaking of gay

    class action has plenty of gay on its team.

  15. so sad

    to see a Stuyvie participating in this resume-padding orgy. One would think she had the sense to spend her time doing...you know, something that matters.

  16. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

    for President!

  17. class action  

    i feel like i'm seeing a screenshot for the next season of the apprentice

  18. Learned Foote

    Am I the only one who thought this was a joke?

    Learned Hand ---> Learned Foote.

    I think I'd have to vote just on this.

    But the yellow heels = auto-reject. Sorry. That's gonna cost you the election.

  19. Christopher Duncan  

    why isn't mark modesitt running for 2011 pres?

  20. maybe  

    bwog should seriously consider NOT covering this election - is that what they call it?

  21. wow  

    so much hate for something that doesn't matter much at all.

  22. relax  

    I'm almost certain that vesal wrote that article as a poke to ourselves... he told me that the article was supposed to open our own eyes to the fact that we ALL are pompous asses sometimes and that we should step back and contribute more effectively to discussion... but you know, or you could totally distort what vesal intended to do and be a total douchebag about it... you know, writing one funny satirical piece totally warrants everything that has been said about vesal... oh yeah.. that sounds stupid.

  23. ...  

    The amount of douchebaggery taking place in this thread is unacceptable.

  24. .....  

    wow, there must be a lot of insecure people at this university if petty backtalking is all that this many people resort to

  25. fff  

    Excuse me? Anna from iColumbia is amazing. you should vote for her.

    And Vesal is conceited, as well as Tania.
    Actually, I don't think I've ever seen Tania when she hasn't been drunk.

  26. fff off  

    If people are better than you, it doesn't make them "conceited", love.

  27. love?  

    way to expose yourself with aussie slang, ves

  28. HAY GUYZ

    Just so that we don't forget what really matters:

    CLASS COUNCIL MEANS NOTHING!

    Carry on bitching.

  29. hmm...  

    Apparently not many people read Vesal's early posts on the Lee Bollinger is My President group.

    He actually deleted some of his more racist / antisemetic comments.

  30. Noah Baron  

    So just out of curiosity, why do you all care who's posting what on Bwog? Does it really matter that much?

  31. actually...  

    Anna may be amazing.. and I was going to vote for her for sure, just because I'm her friend.

    BUT after hearing the CCSC candidate debate just now, I'm going to have to reconsider. DO NOT just vote for your friends. Take the time to get to know the others' platforms and the individual members.

    Vesal is eloquent and well-meaning.

    Also, Tania did not appear to be drunk during the debates. She happened to be one of the more confident speakers..? and if you recall her bwog profile, "no one can be drunk 24/7"..

    PS. Sean is AMAZING vote Sean for party ideas!!

    PPS. wtf Alyssa - campus lockdown?

    PPPS. Everyone looked very smart

    PPPPS. Thank god this is anonymous.

  32. Voting Ticket  

    Seriously, nobody gives a shit about elections.

  33. please... no...  

    let's hope not. there are so many other qualified people running. it would be an utter shame to see that waste of time win over ANY of the other candidates. i thought columbia was above that kind of shit. he doesn't take student council seriously - he doesn't even take himself seriously.

  34. come on  

    This is simply ridiculous. I'd say something about the pointlessness of student council, but there's a slight chance I might be wrong and some student government leader somewhere has done something meaningful. Also, freshman who try to fake buzz need to learn to use proxy servers and/or change their MAC address.

  35. Alyssa Lamontagne  

    I won't lock down the campus! I promise! Look, I heard protests and understood riots. I thought they were asking us what we'd do if there was a riot, and, Trudeau-style, I suggested a lockdown (the FLQ crisis - if you don't understand the reference, google it). That was really rather the most amusing part of my night, though, I must say, and I'm very honored that I've finally been mentioned on this damn forum, outside of an obscure reference to my nationality.

    Not that I'm attention hungry or anything, but come on, people! Where are MY personal attacks that have nothing to do with my ability to govern? Seriously! Why isn't anyone insulting MY shoe color?

    I hope you can all appreciate my very subtle sarcasm.

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