Dec

18

Bwog Requests

Written by

For those of you who celebrate Christmas and for those of you who just like asking for stuff, here’s what BwGossipers want for the holidays, material and otherwise. Is anyone
giftup there listening?

a time machine

Pinkberry for life

the secession of New York City

dinner with Katherine Boo

a bean bag chair

more presents under my fb christmas tree

Noah Feldman’s babies

a sewing machine and the time to use it

Matilda’s powers (for cooking, cleaning, mischief)

a massage

the end of the WGA strike

An internship at Entertainment Weekly Snow

A spot in Karl Kroeber’s Children’s Literature lecture

Dinner at Masa, paid for by someone else

A racing bike (pink touches, with full winter outfit to go with it)

More humidity in the city

A fully stocked professional kitchen

Friends in high places

The boy

A beat-up turn of the century house

Six consecutive hours of free time

A working command of Portuguese

Fresh rhubarb

A new bike

a spirited (but not necessarily talented) kindergarten class to sing me “Birdhouse in Your Soul” by They Might Be Giants

A not-so-shitty fake ID

Magnetic fields tickets

A paying journalism internship (hah!)

The end of the WGA strike

Functioning wifi

The following 33 1/3rds: Pet Sounds, Loveless, Trout Mask Replica, Another Green World

Pastrami Supreme

cat A Crack Deli giftcard

Swipe access to JTS/Barnard (emphasis on the former)

Judge, deluxe, with curly fries

NFL Sunday ticket

The secession of Staten Island

The spontaneous smiting (perhaps by lightning?) of Mike Huckabee

Love

A massive blizzard (but not so massive my sister’s flight gets diverted)

A snowmobile to rock said blizzard

Provisions

A cozy fire

Houseguests who bring fancy cheese

A computer, the battery of which lasts more than ten minutes

A dog, which does not pee itself all the time

A good, short book or two

A pair of jeans that fits when purchased

A replacement camera, computer cord

Assurance I won’t perish on a mountain this break

Unlimited well-bound notebooks

A thick Oriental dorm-room rug, the Orientaler the better

Some plants

Fruitcake

a personal library

Jeanette Winterson‘s babies

fluency

to travel the world without ever taking a plane

a really sweet bike (who doesn’t want a new bike?)

Johnnie Walker Blue Label

A nice apartment so I can get the fuck outta Schapiro (bet you WIEN residents feel the same)

The conviction of Sean Taylor’s killers

Some money for ABC so everybody can be happy.

My dog to be alive

a butler exodus

to fall asleep on the beach

la cerveza de costa rica: imperial

a giant sea turtle

Golden Gate Park

a scotch and soda with Woody Allen

the $2000 truffle from Cirque

Domenico Demarco to not die so he can come make pizza for me in CA at my house’s wood fired pizza oven

table for two with Lauren Collins

elvesHarvard’s financial aid system

A 2nd bout with Kaavya Viswanathan

A calendar with the best pictures from http://icanhascheezburger.com/

A research grant for this summer

The construction of a nearby Trader Joes

A hippopotamus

anything from the jcrew holiday gift giving guide

new scripted tv

plane tickets

getting off the waitlist into american lit since 1945 in January

the pony I�ve been asking for since I was six

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50 Comments

  1. yeah  

    the boy. definitely the boy.

    • a boy  

      oh well I'm a boy and I have the girl and I'm pretty excited about that. I'm also incredibly upset because we're both headed home for break and we live so far away. And Columbia just had to have this really crazy long break this year so we're apart for 30-something days!

  2. hmmmmmmmmmmlt

    "Friends in high place"

    did an asian write this?

  3. secession  

    You want the secession of both NYC and Staten Island. Should I take this to mean that you want Staten Island to secede from NYC after NYC secedes from the US?

  4. hoosiers  

    Irwin Sparkes.

  5. What about?  

    a sizable chunk of Harlem?

  6. or...  

    A tent so I can camp on South Lawn in the spring?

  7. Casey Aldridge  

    I knocked up Britney Spears's sister, bitchizzz. I am going to be bigger than K-Fed himself.

  8. why do  

    buddhist monks sit in boxes during christmas?

    they live in the present!

  9. seriously

    "Noah Feldman's babies"
    What's your deal?

  10. i agree  

    i want the boy too.

  11. the boy!  

    why are there so few available good ones?

  12. of course  

    the boy!
    and then a nice cozy fire in a getaway resort w/ the boy of course
    so where are the hot guys that arent jerks and are available on campus? they must exist right?

    • Anonymous  

      Take your high standards elsewhere. Barnard will settle for me, and that's good enough for me!

      All I want for Christmas is the ability to control reality with only my thoughts.

  13. the girl  

    I'm Jewish, and all I want this December 24th is the girl.

  14. ashgabat  

    all i want is a world with more dictators in it.

  15. why  

    would anyone want more humidity in the city? dry cold is good. heat transfer is bad.

  16. Casey Aldridge  

    i'll be your boy if you'll have my boy

  17. Aww...  

    “My dog to be alive”

    I can only offer my condolences...

  18. Paris Hilton  

    Well, I want world peace.

    (And As on all my finals.)

  19. Not to  

    put to fine a point on it, say im the only bee in your bonnet! Build a little birdhouse in your soul!

  20. haha  

    i want to boy too!

  21. jamie lynn spears

    easy access to an abortion clinic

  22. dude  

    a giant sea turtle? i don't think you know what you're getting into. trust me

  23. Justice John Roberts  

    The ability to once again watch my favorite episodes of Pocket Monsters

  24. There's a picture

    opposite me

    of my primitive ancestry

    who stood on rocky shores

    and kept the beaches Shipwreck Free!

  25. Casey Aldridge  

    Jamie, I told you we should have used the backdoor.

  26. commander  

    has lost sanity.
    and pants.

  27. a girl  

    I wonder if you're my boy? I was thinking the same thing about me and my boy and this super-long separation that's coming up soon right as we both finish finals :/.

    It makes me want to sing that song the schoolgirl sings at the end of "love, actually" that makes the schoolboys ogle her and made me itch to hear Mariah Carey.

  28. another girl  

    ♫ All i want for Christmas is youuuuuuuuuuuuu ♫

    Love that movie

  29. the third girl  

    I have my boy. And he's all I could ever want.

    Well, except for some improved columbia dining options and maybe even an improved GPA.

    but really, he's great. Hard to find around these parts, for sure.

  30. a girl  

    who wants the girl.

  31. guy

    who wants the girl. and a bottle of limited edition woodford reserve.

    willing to settle for the latter to try to forget about the former.

    it'd also be nice if my basketball team turned their abysmal season around.

  32. tmw  

    my French to come back without any effort on my part

    30 good nights' sleeps

    successful, non-materially based bonding with my sister

    a revised thesis

    to stare at all those midwestern stars

  33. anonyalemus  

    a transfer to Yale.

  34. sed  

    Successful, non-horrifying bonding with my father,
    many long, hot bubble baths.
    completion of a non-assigned novel.
    epiphany about future career

  35. Sadia  

    the return of The Office

    please please please.

  36. mec  

    the boy in my math class. sigh.

  37. ahem  

    ladies, i gots me a boy. and he is SMUG AS HELL.

  38. kristine  

    i second #41. i miss it dearly.

  39. EAL  

    A Ivy League championship basketball season for the Lions.

    Yeah, I wouldn't mind a girl either.

  40. I want  

    the one I can't have and it's driving me maaad.

  41. jjv  

    a dinner date with Sean Connery

    to drink a robust red wine on the shore of the Potomac

  42. nb.

    a cup of coffee with my crush

    new clothes

    more records

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