Mar

6

Bird Fever

Written by

As Bwog blossoms into an around-the-clock Morningside Heights bird-related news source, we present you with two stories of from the cold-hearted avian world.

First, news of a hawk kill. Alex Weinberg reports that around 11 this morning, Hawkmadinejad “swooped down and ruined a squirrel in front of Avery.” Awesome.

Hawkmadinejad photo, at right, by Alexandra Tsakopoulos.

Meet a very special goose after the jump!

While Hawkmadinejad wreaks his raptor’s terror all over campus, a lonely goose is pestering ducks down in Morningside Park. He has been lurking in corners of the pond for the past month or so, when his migratory flock abandoned him on account of his gimpy left wing. A new flock is passing through the park, but has largely rejected him, even as he tries to teach them his (rarely successful) strategy for bullying the ducks.

This goose is so awkward! When he hesitantly fights the ducks for bread, he loses. Small children point at him. Typically tranquil city dogs on leashes charge at him. College students photograph him like he’s some kind of freak. He is!

Because I have so thoroughly anthropomorphized him, I call him Goose Man. Any suggestions for a new name are welcome. Will this goose prove as popular as Hawkmadinejad or Nathaniel the peregrine falcon? Certainly not. Goose Man is not a popular sort of bird. But there is something endearing in awkwardness, and I encourage you to accept him into the Columbia pantheon of birds.



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– ACM

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28 Comments

  1. okay  

    so birds are cool.

    but seriously, how many times can you cover them in one week?!?

  2. alexw  

    That hawk is the best thing to happen to this campus in a long time. We have an actual predator-prey thing going on now. All we need to do now is release a couple leopards.

    • Mascot  

      I've been saying for years we should have a lion roaming campus. It'd be a hell of a lot more badass than fucking Rory the Columbia lion who instills lion pride in all of us.

      Yale had a series of Dan the bulldogs. Harvard has that douchebag John Harvard walking around in his crimson pilgrim outfit. Why can't we have a fucking lion to take care of the socialists and other whackos?

  3. meh  

    I thought red-tailed hawks hunt at dusk.

  4. Aww.  

    That goose looks so sad. He's like... the Ugly Duckling, only he'll never turn into a swan, because he's a goose.

    Sigh.

  5. Anonymous  

    Dude. That was an awesome article. I totally LOL'd. Love the bird coverage, keep it coming.

  6. Alum

    The Hawkmadinejad photo is actually to the right of the caption.

  7. Hawkmadinejad?  

    Fools. That is Zeus in diguise, on his way to violate Barnard.

  8. Hmm  

    Hawkmadinejad is treading a fine-line, attacking squirrels. Squirrels are our friends. It's really ESC he should be going after.

  9. Aww

    This article is adorable. Made me smile. Thank you.

  10. Squirrel Friends  

    There's an old man who sits on the steps on the side of Butler and lets the campus' friendly squirrels climb all over him.

    He doesn't know that they're using him for his bread.

  11. Hawkmadinejad  

    There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Hawkmadinejad allows to live.

  12. 10 min ago...  

    Hawkmadinejad was feating in front of Dodge. It was amazing

  13. 10 min ago...  

    *feasting

  14. lonely birdie

    I like to think of myself as a fairly hawk-aware person. Like I notice them while in the car driving on the highway in rural areas (though usually it's actually a turkey buzzard), but I have yet to spot Hawkmadinejad on campus. Anyone got tips as to his favorite hangouts and daily routine? I would really like to pay homage to anyone who is doing something about the pigeon pandemic on this campus. Which means that someone who has the balls to take out the Japanese tourists who feed them on Low Plaza has my eternal love and respect.

    • solution  

      feed the Japanese tourists to Hawkmadinejad.

    • Anonymous  

      I constantly see the hawk on my walk from EC to campus, mostly on or around La Maison Francais, the Cathedral, and Avery.

      Today I caught the little guy sitting on the arch separating the walkway next to Avery and the area in front of the cathedral. I walked right under him, turned to give him a friendly goodbye wink as per our normal rapport, and encountered a startling STARE OF DEATH. I feel much better now knowing it was nothing personal, but simply a squirrel-induced food coma.

  15. name for goose:  

    Goose Robbins?

  16. i saw  

    hawkmadinejad by maison francais today. made my day. i love that guy.

    i also love it when i don't pass the human-verification test, because i am not, in fact, human.

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