In lieu of a typical Guide to the Weekend, Bwog has decided to poll its listservs and aggregate a more helpful list of activities. The following are answers to the question “What do you do to procrastinate?” We hope you’ll try out one or two (or nine) of our ideas and use the comment thread to suggest your own. Happy weekend!

  • Change the font and wording of my resume
  • Decide to take up short story writing
  • Even though I live in a dorm, check Craigslist for apartments
  • Make new Gmail labels
  • Paint with nail polish on Post-It notes
  • Change my desktop background
  • Translating Spanish philosophers
  • Taking four hour midday naps
  • Fixing my bike

  • Going to review sessions for classes I’m not taking
  • Googling my professors
  • Eat Nutella out of the jar, licking it off the knife
  • Practice my dance routine
  • Read articles from Go Ask Alice
  • NAPS
  • Catch up on three years of blog archives
  • Cook everything I have been meaning to cook
  • Determine which foreign language could be learned in the least time
  • Slate
  • Watch entirety of giant DVR backlog (Millions! I Heart Huckabees! An SVU episode about comic books!)
  • Make a list of every single thing I own, for future reference
  • Read through the Savage Love archives
  • Read the New Yorker online
  • Moisturize my upper arms over and over again…there’s no reason for this, at all
  • Arrange the jackets in my closet in order of warmth
  • Email my parents everything from Stuff White People Like that applies to them
  • Write a Mother’s Day card—I would never remember this if it weren’t in the middle of finals
  • Watch sarah dooley’s youtube show
  • Read New York’s assessment of Gossip Girl episodes
  • Clean
  • Do laundry/dishes
  • Wait in line in Pinkberry (that could take like an hour during peak time)
  • Make conversation with the security guards in your building—they are often very interesting
  • Looking something up on Wikipedia, clicking on a link to another article, repeating this for ten minutes
  • Organize your “Favorites” into different folders
  • Argue with people on YouTube
  • Create macros
  • Join OhNoTheyDidn’t
  • Drink Diet Coke.
  • Slowly worry yourself into an early grave.
  • Chipping away at the 1167 new emails labeled “bwog” that have come into my inbox since I went abroad…
  • Just spent 5 minutes lying in bed and throwing the blinds cord at my light. I reckon I could burn another half hour or so on that, it’s almost fun.
  • Line up the books I’m using for an essay on my desk in alphabetical order, by author
  • Peel grapes before eating
  • Read all the New York tabloids (even The Voice, why? why?)
  • Test pens, throw out old ones
  • Order novels on amazon, tell my mother they’re textbooks for fall semester
  • Revise poems written in 10th grade and send them to ridiculously prestigious journals.
  • Fold socks
  • Read g-chat status messages
  • Browse other people’s shared iTunes libraries in Butler
  • Dig through odd jobs on Craigslist and other public listings so I can figure out how to make pocket money in the few weeks that I will be home this summer
  • Analyze how the Eurorail works; develop a dream travel plan for the summer that probably won’t pull through
  • Sort all the damn paper that has piled up on my desk since the fall semester
  • Laundry: no explanation needed
  • Browse through websites of prospective grad schools (in spite of really despising school right now)
  • Search iTunes for that song I heard one time that sounds kind of like Gnarls Barkley maybe…
  • Shave my legs, it’s Wednesday, I have a paper due tomorrow I might be going out
  • Google “famous moms in history”
  • Google “bad moms in history”
  • Google my mom
  • Respond to all email threads
  • Facebook chat
  • Gossip Girl reruns—those NYmag episode summaries are my reason for living
  • Crafting the perfect gchat/facebook status update
  • Wash month-old dishes
  • Wash my hair, every night (though this emphasis on hygiene is totally detrimental to the whole finals aesthetic)
  • Try all forgotten lipglosses buried somewhere in my sock drawer
  • Come up with glorious melodramatic recaps of HOW MUCH WORK I HAVE TO DO and spend hours telling them over and over to any friend within earshot
  • Spend the rest of the day “reading” on the lawn and/or steps (i.e., people watch and eavesdrop while worrying that everyone can smell my dissipating deodorant)
  • Change outfits at least three times a day (dissipating deodorant)
  • Turning my Gmail notifier and the Gchat sounds off ostensibly so that I’m not distracted by the noises.  In reality, I’m forced to alt-tab back to the Gmail screen to see if I have any new emails or messages.
  • Sadly consider why I don’t have any new emails or messages after step 1.
  • Pump the porpoise.
  • Find and listen to T-Pain’s “Low (Apple Bottom Jeans)” on Youtube
  • Find as many remixes of T-Pain’s “Low (Apple Bottom Jeans)” on Youtube as I can
  • Find and listen to the Alvin and the Chipmunks version of T-Pain’s “Low (Apple Bottom Jeans)” on Youtube
  • Listen to all of the Alvin and the Chipmunks covers on YouTube
  • Pump the porpoise.
  • Watch YouTube videos of Robert Horry clutch shots (check out the western conference finals against the Kings)
  • Remember the glory days of under 13 soccer games
  • Read my hometown newspaper and realize that not much has changed @ home
  • Write a LectureHop
  • Order books from Amazon that I will never read, but will get free shipping on
  • Spend way too much time thinking whether its a good idea to legitimize Collegeboxes again or not
  • Realizing that I could use some  help packing all of my shit come move out time
  • Sending e-cards to my parents explaining why I was unable to call them on their anniversary
  • Edit my ical to include things I’ve done in the past
  • Google “top 100 books of all time” and judge myself based on how many I’ve read on various lists
  • Read about the extended primaries obsessively, not because I’m still interested in the election, but because I´m finally beginning to figure out what happened during that West Wing episode where the nominee was chosen at the Democratic convention
  • Shop online, freely adding items to my virtual baskets that I know I will never purchase
  • Be a huge nerd and browse through the Columbia library’s digital resources for new classical/jazz/world music to listen to, while gradually falling in love with the Naxos label more and more and making a mental list of every piece I wish I could play

  • And when I’m feeling a little less nerdy and more quasi-mainstream, I kill time browsing music blogs through hypem.com
  • Applying for jobs
  • Sleeping
  • Eating sandwiches
  • makin tea
  • makin out
  • writing postcards!
  • Realizing that the bizarro dude who’s always in Butler, usually talking about double meanings in Proust, is also the guy from Chromeo.
  • I’m bouncing key limes off my ceiling and catching them.
  • Discovery: KEY LIMES IS TOUGH AS SHIT, THOSE SUMBITCHES HOLDING UP REAL WELL
  • They are also small enough that they don’t make a sound that goes through.
  • Become Facebook friends with Obama Girl
  • Think about getting a haircut
  • Respond to a high school alumni thread for alums living in NYC, realizing that it’s a bunch of 32 year old investment bankers that I am talking to (probably also procrastinating)