60 Comments
Bwog spies report that the first batch of West Coast Terrible 12s have arrived on campus, with the others following in the next day or so. Because we were all once first-years — and the 12s need all the help they can get — we’ve put together a list of Surprisingly Useful Last-Minute things to pick up on the way to school. Use the comment section to suggest your own (or argue with ours). The 12s will reward you lavishly with praise and appreciation.
- Stationery, even if it’s just a set of Post-It notes, you will make surprisingly good use of it
- A pair of scissors
- Stamps and envelopes
- A Sharpie, or perhaps a set of several
- For girls: A box — an old shoebox is fine — for all your jewelery. It will get dusty in desk/bureau drawers
- Towels, bring more towels than you think you’ll need
- Duct tape
- Scotch tape
- Gummy stuff for your walls
- Stapler
- Paper clips
- Anything for attaching things to other things, actually
- A big colorful cloth to use as a curtain, emergency sarong, hammock, or wall hanging
- A heightened tolerance for group activities
- Bottle opener
- Check book (wallet insurance)
- Ruler (to jam your window open)
- Milk crate (for floppy magazines)
- Phone charger x2 (unless you know how to work a Rolm)
- Phone battery x2 (especially if you like to sleep out)
- Tacks, not tape or blue tack (easier on moving day)
- Backup hard drive (or else: “I can’t hang out, my computer broke.”)
- Book stops (for shelf over bed safety, a Hartley problem)
- Ear plugs
- Long johns (when pants won’t suffice)
- Eighties clothes (for temporary hipster approximation)
- Real condoms (you’ll understand someday)
- Galoshes (to protect your feet)
- Picnic cloth (for splitting the spoils of cafeteria raids)
- Gimmick (you are a unique, shining jewel)
- Ethernet cable (make sure it is of suitable length, around 10 feet usually works)
- A cable cable, if you want to watch TV
- Exacto knife or sharp scissors, possible small hole puncher- for John Jay and Furnald people (keys)
Loading …
60 Comments
@i found the most surprising thing that became incredibly useful was a sleeping bag
@... I’m guessing you’re a virgin
@heads up everyone’s mentioning condoms, but don’t forget lube. a lot of folks are virgins and most girls (and indirectly guys as well…or i guess directly too depending on your preference) could really benefit from a dab of the stuff their first time around
@so glad to have you back my fellow Columbians. It has been a boring ass summer without you!
@what who puts their jewelry in a shoe box???
@people who watched the bleeped out version of “My Dick in a Box”
@it's true about the nyc condoms. i’m not very big but last time i used one, that thing had my dick in a chokehold.
@sdffs Lifestyle “King Size” condoms are significantly smaller than other extra large condoms, I think they’re designed specifically to make people feel big.
@hahaha Slightly longer egos! hahahaha
@hohoho Now that people are trickling back to school, the number of comment of bwog skyrockets…
so school=boredom?
@condom user I agree that the NYC condoms are a little tight, but the other Lifestyles ones are just fine. I’ve never heard anyone complain about them. And anyway, most RAs will pick up a few of the extra large ones for people with slightly longer egos.
@Seriously Think of what you use at home at least once a month, and just bring that. No need for all this extra crap people are suggesting. It just makes moving a bigger pain in the ass.
Also, whiskey is great, but I would avoid it if you’re a police commisioner and a clown villian has made a threat on your life. Switch to the cognac.
@actually Eurotrash happens twice a year (but the second one is not all ages). but it’s amazing both times
and 12er – you’ll learn when you get here
@since at least 3 people missed the 4.9 mill joke, im guessing these new kids have yet to discover that little guy we see lurking around this beloved campus. his name is Irony, he’s quite sweet but, if you’re not yet acquainted, he might just shoot you. it’s a very dangerous situation, because, i mean, how can you know everybody?
@... you are the same person who has t-shirts like “Sarcasm: just one more service I provide”
@unfortunately sarcasm does not always translate over the internet.
@... oh i get it. you’re being ironic by pretending to try too hard… good plan.
@also a box of tissues
lube
an extra garbage can – the ones provided are way too small
@... be sure not to forget:
1) “magic” credit card that doesn’t come with an associated bill
2) prescription for whatever the pharmaceutical companies are calling speed this year (health services is stingy on that one)
@also headphones unless you want your roommate to drunkenly piss on your bed while you’re out.
i regret nothing you boy band blasting piece of shit
@Yo! Mcain is absolutely right. All of us who make less than $5million should get financial aid.
@as;dl bring disinfectant. for your room, for the bathroom, for your roommate, or whatever. shit is dirty.
@Yo man This list is mad wack. All you need is a bucket of booze, some heady nugg, and a bodacious brigade of bitches or bros to hose you down after doing the dirty.
@you dumb shit I bet they were spoiled.
Sidenote: Extra storage is always useful, and easy to stash under beds.
@Nope So fresh, you could still see wisps of steam rising as they headed for the door.
@The res life condoms aren’t durable at all, at least not for filling squids in them
@also for the very few days of nice weather, you’ll want a frisbee
@more febreeze, for when doing your laundry just isn’t an option
a small baking pan, because eating raw cookie dough is, while delicious, quite sad
a watch- if you don’t wear one yet, nows the time to start
lots of socks- because of the aforementioned campus swamp
Lots of hair elastics
Fun makeup (eurotrash only happens once a semester-make it count)
Your yearbook
Your acceptance letter- for those times you feel like you shouldn’t be here
Your yearbook
@12err wait whats eurotrash?
@FAVORITE COMMENT. AHAHAHAHAHA.
Only nerds use condoms here. My room was like a 24/7 bakery, serving creampies every day.
@why would you bring your yearbook? that is simply a terrible idea. you won’t see any of your high school ‘friends’ again. most of them were douches anyway. leave that at home.
also your acceptance letter. if you need to be comforted with something like that to make you feel like you can succeed, you probably can’t succeed and should just drop out now.
those are best left at home, so you can reminisce about your childhood, but at least give it a year.
@12err here to lavish you guys with praise and appreciation. your whiskey suggestion just may save my life
@just in case you know, in the terrible emergency that you might forget one of these little trinkets, you may be able to find an alternate somewhere around, you know, nyc.
@emphasis seriously, don’t forget your stapler!!!! even professors won’t have staplers but will expect that you hand in your papers, problem sets, and hws stapled get the small cheap ones even to throw in your pencil case to carry around with you everywhere but please don’t forget a STAPLER!!!!!!!!!!
@not a frosh also, remember to bring some pepto-bismol to go with your meal plan.
or Tums!
@Anonymous Nah, only spoiled assholes have problems with that. For us middle and lower class kids, it’s just like eating some hamburger helper.
@umm no The middle class doesn’t eat hamburger helper. I should know, my parents make $4.9 million a year so I’m not rich and not poor and I certainly don’t do hamburger helper
@whitecollar your parents make 4.9 million a year and you’re not rich? what planet are you living on?
@Anonymous Apparently you haven’t been watching the Presidential race very closely.
@O RLY According to uh, someone, the definition of rich is someone who’s income >= 5 million
@i am just going to assume that’s a joke.
ha ha!
@who are you is that Jamie?
@hi bwog it’s “stationery”
@friendly local wag And in addition to that “stationary,” you might want to buy a dictionary.
@whiskey's no good without cups, shot glasses, mugs, and more cups. you will find use for any drinking vessel you bring.
also get a microwave-safe plate, bowl, and mug + utensils
and get some room spray or a plug-it-in for funky smells that you can’t control
@check yoself! vessels? whiskey comes in a bottle doesn’t it? what more do you require? how is that no good?
@plates? you don’t need plates or bowls… that is what john jay dishes and silverware are for.
if anything get tupperware that way you can steal rice krispie treats and things like that from john jay.
@stephan doesn’t leave home without his abs
@real condoms? srsly? nyc condoms/lifestyles are perfectly fine in almost all cases.
@Anonymous right about “real condoms.” once i thought i was so smart, having those nyc condoms around until me (and the guy) realized that it was way too small–and he wasnt like huge or anything, but they’re supposidly a tight and uncomfortable fit.
some other things that come in handy:
flip flops
flashlight
ipod/ipod charger/dock
lots of water bottles or soda cans
hooded sweatshirts
sneakers (a few pairs)
pics of family/friends
vanity mirror (if youre a girl)
bottle of whisky
sunglasses
dvds
looseleaf paper/index cards
cookies!
camera
journal
@second the whiskey preferably a decent bourbon or scotch. have some cheap stuff around too for when you realize columbia has a lot of downsides (few attractive people, bureaucracy that makes your life miserable, alumni and career center that won’t actually help you get employed, etc.) and need to get trashed.
@true you can’t go wrong with a good bottle of whisky.
@Maker's Mark Maker’s Mark, Maker’s Mark
You’re so expensive in the city.
Someday, my cruel mistress,
you will cease to drain my bank account.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
@Anonymous you were right on with everything you said….especially the whiskey. dont forget the whiskey kids.
@hmm a dry erase board. for your door.
@what is a fake condom?
@fake condom res. life provided condoms. they’re too damn small
@zoidberg one of those canvas condoms that say “i am not a latex condom”
@wetfeet Rainboots are a must! Campus turns into a swamp in the rain.
@ditto Totally agree, I was dumb and waited until my senior year to get rainboots. They are totally necessary for rain and snow on this campus.
Also, bring an umbrella. And a hotpot for the covert in-room cooking of tea and mac and cheese.