The newest issue of The Jester will hit news stands tomorrow with a shocking title. Who knew there was a recession on? For the inside scoop, you can check out the pdf version tonight. 

You know what else is new? You’re about to graduate from college! And even if you’re not, the real world is out there, and it’s coming to get you! (3, Jester’s pages)

The obvious solution is to become a professional businessman. (4)

Or, if you think you’d be better at it, a skanky hooker. (5)

If neither of those sound appealing, please fill out this job application form:

 – Question 1) What would you rather see a funny picture of, a beluga whale humping an insect, or an exorcism? (7)

 – Question 2) Would you rather be lame or awesome? (19-20)

 – Question 3) Find the economy on this drawing. Hint: it’s wearing a white and red shirt and glasses. (12-13)

Of course, you could forget about getting a job. Just live on coupons. (25)