Any business operator knows that if you kill your rival, you might get his customers. It’s just that who knew Mr. Softee was so cutthroat? (Gothamist)
If you drink and drive, bad things may happen. Luckily for you, you’ll be drunk, so everything will be fine. (Reuters)
If Teachers College says Bloomberg has no right to boast about rising graduation rates in NY public schools, then he’ll definitely stop doing it. (NY Daily News)
If you offer Blogging (or a “Master of Science” program at the J-School) people might be kind of interested.
And for those times when Bedford, NY and Manhattan hotels alike slam the door in your face; “Silly despots,” dontcha know? If you want to pitch a Bedouin tent on U.S. soil, you pitch it outside of Low. (HuffPo, NY Post, Examiner)