Name, school: Dan Miranda, SEAS

Claim to fame? Hosting crazy parties in the Band Suite, and contributing some of the most controversial jokes to Orgo Night scripts.

Where are you going? Maybe getting this job as a research assistant uptown at CUMC… maybe flying to Puerto Rico to fix up an inherited condo…

Three things you learned at Columbia?

  1. A summer in NYC is a summer well spent. especially if you’re 21+
  2. How to “gun” a beer
  3. The true meaning of G(tb)^2

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer?
I’m an engineer
I built a V-show set once
and sometimes I try
to figure out how
to write what I want to say
in haiku format

Any war stories from the War on Fun? We throw a “Liquidation Party” right after the last possible exam in May. It’s where people come to dispose of any leftover “party supplies” that they can’t/don’t want to take home with them. Last year we got busted for noise at 11pm. Really? Also, give Barnard women swipe access to Columbia dorms already.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Depends… is the cheese toothy?

Any advice for the Class of 2014? Follow your bliss. Make lots of mistakes. Make lots of friends. Pick the right major. Explore the city. Walk down Riverside park all the way to South Ferry. Call your parents on the weekend. H&M exists. Free beer always draws a crowd. Keep it classy. Join the Marching Band.

Any regrets? “Forget regret, or life is yours to miss” – Jonathan Larson (from RENT)