Claim to fame: I’ve been involved with various theater organizations, Fruit Paunch, play banjo and guitar in The Kitchen Cabinet, and was the Bwog commenter known as “anti-rjt.”
Where are you going? Living in Nolita where I will be writing my robot screenplay and looking for a job in the entertainment industry. Mostly just writing about robots though.
Three things you learned at Columbia:
1. Finding the balance between New York and Columbia. I went to school in the best city in the world and I also know I went to college.
2. Professor Erik Gray melts hearts. He could seduce anything. Ever.
3. My best friends are the ones I find myself being happily bored with.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I was conceived in an airplane bathroom over Canada. Fact.
Any war stories from the War on Fun? My suite’s parties have never been broken up so I’m pretty sure this is an outdated question. Either that or our parties suck. And they don’t. Regardless, here’s an awesome account of a party Columbia students threw in the 1940s as recorded in “Minor Characters” by Joyce Johnson: “the previous spring, thirty [Columbia] students had sold pints of blood to finance a May Wine Festival at the swanky Essex House — on whose neon sign that night the E and the first S had been totally blacked out, according to later legend. Blood and wine — there was something about the decadent absurdity of that party that captured my imagination. Never had I imagined that pleasure could be pursued with such seriousness.”
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I’m lactose intolerant. It’s awful. It also seems like every free food event is just filled with pizza and cheese and dairy-flavored oral sex. Weird.
Any advice for the Class of 2014? “Invincible Inertia.” My freshman year I hitchhiked to a cabin in the woods with my friend Peter and wrote my first screenplay. The summer before junior year I flew to Spain and produced a movie. I couldn’t have done this without a mixture of blind luck and the willingness to accept the ebb and flow of inevitability. What I mean is, if you believe you can do something, then do your best to do it. You may fail and, like me, find yourself stranded at a bus station in the middle of nowhere (twice). But everything will work out if you push hard enough and keep moving. Things will fall apart – that’s a guarantee. Just don’t let that stop you from trying to do whatever the hell your ambitious brain comes up with. The results may not be what you expect, but the experience will be worth it. Also, don’t ever try and hitchhike to a cabin in the woods.
Any regrets? A few. 4th of July 2008: I was naked and fell down a hill into a row of pricker bushes. Fall 2008: I went mud sliding in Riverside Park one rainy evening only to discover the next morning that my friends and I had been rolling around in shards of glass. Halloween 2009: I was dressed as a centaur, it was raining, and I barfed all the way down W. 114th. Hi, mom!