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Share Your NSOP-Firsts

Pretty soon (August 30th doth approach!) dozens upon hundreds of fresh-things will run around campus screaming and sitting outside Carman just waiting for something, anything to happen.

We want to help them out. We’re reviving an old Bwog tradition and sharing stories of our first nights at college (if you did something funny or sad or interesting, tell us!) and our first fake ID’s (the more McLovin’-esque, the better). We’d also like to know what you wish you knew your first day at Columbia. If you have a good story or some inspired advice, send us line or two at Don’t write angry comments if your “first” doesn’t go up: we can’t post ’em all but we’ll try to get as many as possible.

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  • why says:

    @why don’t we make stephan vinenzo the mc of this little shindig.

    1. Anonymous says:


  • From now on says:

    @From now on you must measure every male you encounter in units of distance. This will be the distance of your walk of shame back to the heavily guarded fortress, the Quad. If you think precipitation is likely to occur during this encounter, anticipate flux and be prepared to protect yourself. I now know that even a 5-block walk of shame during a blizzard definitely calls for a cab ride.

    1. HA says:

      @HA That is epic. Sadly enough this is so true — no matter where you live on campus.

  • New Target on 116th says:

    @New Target on 116th and the east river…Can you find out whether they have a shuttle bus? Not sure if it’s more worth it to all the way to the east side or up to the Bronx

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous it’s called the M116.

      1. Actually says:

        @Actually it makes much more sense to take the M60 to 125th St and the East River, cause the M116 is at 106 and Broadway.

        Well of course, unless you are a privileged white kid scared to be in Harlem :D

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Go to Google Maps. Click on “Get Directions”.
      Click on the train icon for public transit.
      For Bronx Target, use 300 W Kingsbridge Rd Bronx, NY
      For New Target, use 517 E 117th Street, New York, NY

  • To whom this may concern says:

    @To whom this may concern No matter how much you are peer pressured, no matter what the circumstances, and no matter which flavor of gogurt you are slurping, fisting is never a good idea… I’ve learned the hard way. But at least, childbirth will be that much easier!

    1. We've all been there! says:

      @We've all been there! I know where you are cumming from… go-gurt always seems to have this effect on me!

      1. Honestly says:

        @Honestly NSOP is just one big fisting festival

      2. Oh dear... says:

        @Oh dear... Let’s please stop scaring the poor freshmen who are reading this!!

        1. Rite of Passage says:

          @Rite of Passage Wait so gogurt is used for the lubricant? Will they explain this to us during orientation week? Will my NSOP leader provide me with the gogurt or will I have to finance it myself? And if I have to finance it myself, are there any scholarships or financial aid that will cover the cost of gogurt? Is this gogurt fisting rite of passage completely mandatory for proper columbia assimilation or can I take a bye if I get a note from a dean? Or is this only necessary if you are living in carman?

          1. I get it says:

            @I get it because froshies are nervous about everything and ask lots of ridiculous questions of upperclassmen. Good one.

  • I'm about to do one says:

    @I'm about to do one for Carman 4 (2012) woot woot!

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Carmen 7 (Class of 2011), I hope you read this. I have submitted a story and may submit some more. If it is posted, you all will know (or most) what was talked about.

    In a non-narcissistic note: I can’t wait to read some of these

  • On your very first night, says:

    @On your very first night, right before you go to bed, make sure you look out your window for at least a minute. Let all the amazing emotions of NSOP wash over you. Those are going to be emotions that you’ll remember every time you look out your window the rest of the year up until you move out.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Offer not valid if your room faces the carman-lerner shaft.
      Actually, it’ll still be valid. nevermind.

  • Make sure you says:

    @Make sure you know what you are going to. Me and some friends saw a few small flyers about free ice cream in EC. We thought, why the hell not. Unfortunately, the flyers did not specify the group running it was KCCC. Seeing as we were all white as well, this made for an extra awkward experience. The ice cream was quite good though!

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous using ice cream as a deceptive lure… ha ha ha! those wacky christians!

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous “Those wacky [Koreans]!”


    2. BC'69 says:

      @BC'69 confuse K’s and C’s… If I were a member of this organization, it would only end in tears.

      1. I forgot says:

        @I forgot to preface my comment with the most important letter of the alphabet, “I”

  • Student Budget says:

    @Student Budget I wish I knew that I didn’t need to worry about bringing condoms to college, since you will get more free condoms than you’ll know what to do with during NSOP. Also, you can pick up free condoms all year round at Health Services, Well Woman, your RA, etc.

    I do, however, wish I invested in good (glycerine and paraben free, water based) lube to make those free condoms extra worth it. (Holler, Babeland!)

    1. Also... says:

      @Also... Make sure you grab the XL ones even if you are XS. The art of deception. Also, mind the glory holes in the bathrooms of Lerner…

      1. whoa whoa whoa says:

        @whoa whoa whoa there are bathrooms in Lerner?

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Don’t forget the bottle of spermicidal lube

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