When you were in middle school, Halloween was a time for wholesome, all-American fun. You probably went trick-or-treating around your neighborhood or marched in the costume parade around your school gym. But you’re in college now, and costumes aren’t like they were in the days of your youth. Upholding a longstanding Bwog tradition, Hannah Goldstein offers some risqué Halloween ideas for Columbia-spirited boys and girls alike:

Alma Mater

Desecrate the image of our matron goddess in style! If you’re feeling irreverent, purchase a drapey black minidress—try this one!—and pair with leaves you glued to your hair. Scepters are available here. Then pick up your heaviest book and carry it around with you throughout the evening. Don’t forget to hide the owl somewhere secret!


Remember that time PrezBo bared it all with the swim team? Relive that glorious moment in Columbia history as Slutty Prezbo, complete with your own Columbia Under Armour hot pants! Bonus points if you wear a toupee and, of course, if you carry a copy of Uninhibited, Robust, and Wide-Open.


With your #1 team jersey on, none of the athletes will have to know that you’re really dressed as the Cowardly Lion!


SCREEE! Halloween is not just for bats anymore! Don your favorite hawk beak and start making trouble like the naughty Columbian that you are! This costume is also appropriate for Mischief Night.

Alexander Hamilton

Nothing says “good Halloween costume” like the Columbian Federalist! We have just the costume for you. But where’s the “slutty,” you ask? To which we respond: it’s all in the eyebrows.

The College Walk of Shame

Keep last year’s VShow alive! This is an easy costume to make at home! All you really need is an oversized Columbia t-shirt and a hickey.

Not feeling costumes this year? If after everything you deign to sit at your computer instead of going out, don’t worry. You can just tell people you were Alice.