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Fresh Tunez

Finals are conducive to all sorts of dance parties

Bwog received this Auto-Tuned gem by Ben Kaplan, CC ’14. “The Finalz Song” deals with the trials of Butler, the Bible, and fighting for survival. A sample lyric:

Just better get the flashcards out

your calculators and all them granola bars out

and do not think I’m going home until the starz out

we about to do this shit until we pass out…

“Mc wilf” (if that is your real name…) left his “Butler Library Rap” video in the comments. Making Jay-Z proud, he abandons autotune.

save me i hate this can barely stay awaked
i think im goin crazy cause i feel like gettin naked
this page is outrageous, tell me i can make it
alma mater daughter tell me why hast thou forsaked
me, i’m gonna get a C, silly me, i shoulda dropped this class down in kent 203
but now i know i’m here gotta stay gotta fight
still i fuckin hate butler in the middle of the night

Speaking of Columbia-related lyrics, Lisa Cammett, BC ’78, has composed a rap in protest against the the University’s disposal of books. “Columbia University simply throws away thousands of tons of usable office furniture, computers, and computer parts, office supplies, recyclable journals, and most tragically of all, books, many of which are not at all outdated and are in excellent condition—every year,” she explains. The song is part of her personal campaign to save Columbia’s used books.

Driven to Rap

I never did hear of a white woman rapper

But in truth, I could not be much unhappier

Caucasian… and living there in the “Hood”

How clear my Alma Mater isn’t doing what she should

As a child they told me: “Never throw away a book”

I want the world to know what that bad school took

They took away the chance to read 10,000 author’s works

Dumped treasure in the trash like a bunch of jerks!

I can’t remain silent as the time goes by

I can’t stand still as I ask myself why

Should I put my education on the shelf?

If books are just garbage I must ask myself:

Why did I learn all that?  I’d like to cry

Inside at nighttime staring at the sky

Barnard College teaches a philosophy

That every forest is a left and every leaf is a tree


When knowledge is gone, it may be gone for good

And let’s not forget that paper’s made of wood

To throw away books kills trees and minds

And shows disrespect for all humankind

Verse 2

Columbia University

Has a department of ecology

They’ll tell you the rainforest’s there for you and me

Forest protects biodiversity

With all those animals, we’ll live longer, see?

Forest protects cooler temperatures, too

A cooler earth is better for me and you

Alaska’s breaking up, we’re burning fast

That’s fossil fuels, oil, coal, and gas

We have to conserve and recycle, too

To live longer, respect nature through and through

Corporations send waste to Africa, too

I want books sent instead between me and you

Verse 3

Why throw educational materials away?

All this wealth will be gone someday!

No time to tell what I found in the garbage

To the poor and disadvantaged, it would have been a harvest

So will we teach our kids that what we’ve learned

Is that a dollar saved is a dollar earned?

The opposite actually will be true

We consumed it all, there’s nothing left for you!

The computer’s down for good, we’re out of il

The future isn’t here for us to spoil!

Civilization depends on education, you see

And not one bit less on every single tree!

What will we teach you with, you sad-eyed child?

“Dig in the landfill,” she said—It’s not too wild!

I know what they call garbage because I’ve been through it

If you believe in social justice, DON’T LET THEM DO IT!


Lisa is lobbying for the establishment of a Columbia University book and journal adoption/donation center “where the precious intellectual knowledge too many of us here take for granted could be shipped to libraries, schools, and cultural institutions in other parts of the United States—or the world.”  Look out for a profile of Lisa in the next issue of the Blue & White.

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

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  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous throwing away? for free? more information please

    1. This old hag says:

      @This old hag should stick to her job and away from poems and rapping.

  • lithum final song says:

    @lithum final song don’t forget this video for the spring:

    1. I says:

      @I hate this kid, i dont know why, but i hate him.

      1. nope says:

        @nope could not disagree more.

  • .... says:

    @.... god this song sucks lol

  • seriously says:

    @seriously i adore bkap

  • this says:

    @this has got nothing on EC HEIGHTS OR CAMPO

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous throwback of the week. now on loop. thanks.

  • woooo says:

    @woooo bkap rocks! you should hear his remix of “in the station”

  • JJ8 says:

    @JJ8 “Jesus & Gilgamesh say that God is their father, but can they make me some Four Loko out of water?” Genius. I have a crush on BKap, point blank.

    1. that is says:

      @that is perhaps the best (and only intelligible) line in that song

      1. JJ10>JJ8 says:

        @JJ10>JJ8 enough said.

  • Wo says:

    @Wo I’m pretty sure someone just whipped their hair back and forth because it was that good.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous wow this gives me the finalziest boner ever

    1. If... says:

      @If... I were to say this, I would want everyone to know my name. Just saying.

  • chiddy bang inspired? says:

    @chiddy bang inspired? i guess that’s kinda cool. awful voice but the lyrics are funny

  • I would like to says:

    @I would like to have sex with mc wilf

  • OMG says:

    @OMG I LOVE BEN KAPLAN, and Ben Kaplan’s yaboes.

  • Julius Caesar says:

    @Julius Caesar Ben Kaplan is, inarguably, a musical god among mere mortals. His lyrics ask the questions that most artists are afraid to ask. Also, his voice is magical.

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