The Superstar is often late for class on account of just having flown in from Singapore/Zurich/LA. Nevertheless, s/he breezes in casually. S/he chills with presidents after all, it’s no big deal. While the Superstar may be calm (they have seats that recline to become beds in business class), their brilliant TAs (who actually read what you write, choose the readings, and might possibly know your name), have been biting their fingernails anxiously because they misused a semi-colon in their last e-mail to the Superstar. Superstars do not appreciate bad grammar from their minions.

The Superstar will have to miss class occasionally to receive honorary degrees or organize panels in which they hang out with other Superstars. In the event of this you may end up watching more movies than you bargained for (but really, who’s complaining?). However, the Superstar does also occasionally invite his/her other Superstar friends in to be guest speakers, you know, because they do get tired sometimes, even in business class, which is a pretty fair trade-off.

You will not become pals with the Superstar. Even PrezBo is not pals with the Superstar. If you’re very lucky, you might say hi to his/her apprentice, one of the haggard, nail-less TAs in Butler Cafe, but it is important to realize that these TAs like talking to you for the same reason the Superstar likes talking to his/her TAs. It makes them feels good to talk to people infinitely less likely of achieving Superstardom than you!

Text by Claire Sabel, illustration by Abigail Santner