Feb

4

Did You Mean: how do you turn a guy on

Written by

Now there’s something unexpected from Columbia’s new home page. Bwog cartoonist extraordinaire Jody Zellman pointed out to us that if you are choosey enough with your words, you can get some very interesting results from the home page’s search box that now has an autocomplete feature. People have been having fun with Google‘s autocomplete for years, but now you don’t even have to leave our bubble on the Internet to giggle like a little boy at what comes up. Some other phrases that yield surprising results include “i want,” “how to,” and “this is for.” Share any more you find in the comments!

While the results of these searches are legitimate (a lot have Ask Alice results), we still can’t tell how the suggestions themselves are populated. However, in poking around the source of the site, we did find this little gem:

var suggestExclude = /anal|sex|fuck|vagina|anus|bestiality|cum|semen|ass|breast|boob|
titt|butt|dick|bitch|shit|nigg|crap|cock|puss/gi;

After locking up some Bwog CS majors in a room and feeding them shots every five minutes, they told us if any of these phrases are present in an autocomplete suggestion (without regard to capitalization), the suggestion won’t show up. Well, rightly so!

Tags: , , , ,

30 Comments

  1. "Where is"  

    the g-spot? the clit?

  2. "Why"  

    Why does she hate me? WHY?!

  3. Where does  

    " my penis go during a..."
    " a man like to be kissed?"

  4. Can I  

    "break my penis"
    "get pregnant on my period"
    "drink orgasm"
    "make my balls bigger"

    -Hahaha, great stuff.

  5. SirThomasBrowne

    How is Babby formed?

  6. "Do I"

    look needy if I send a text

  7. Anonymous

    Damn it, you're supposed to put the excluded naughty terms on the server side, not the client.

  8. DAMN YOU BWOG  

    I SENT IN A TIP FOR THIS WAYYYYY LONG AGO. f this.

  9. And "Why won't"  

    \Why won't he kiss me?\
    \Why won't he break up with me?\
    \Why won't my boyfriend's penis g...\ --And if you click on this one:
    Did you mean: why won't my boyfriends pennis g...

  10. Is there...

    "a graduate financial session going on today from 11am to 1pm?"
    "an herb that helps release dopamine in the brain"
    "any cream that can stimulate my clitoris for orgarsm?" [sic]
    "any way u could get pregnant rubbing the vagaina and the penus with close?" [sic]

  11. Innocent to Not So Innocent

    bl -> blow job
    cun -> cunnilingus (also, the other c-word)
    (first three letters of "fagan") -> (gay slur)
    jack -> jack off
    tip -> tip of penis
    (first three letters of vagelos) -> vaginismus, vaginitis (ewwwwww)

  12. Terms Appearing in the Drop Down List

    balls shrink, camel toe, douche gay, gay+adoption+is+wrong, hairy virgin, handjob, jailbait, jerk off buddy, jizz, jizz calorie content, piss, piss drinking, prick students, queef, suck, tits, rim job, wank, wankinjerk

    Term not appearing in the drop down list: twat

  13. Anonymous

    so is the people search tool still available? Comes in handy.

  14. Kaimlin

    Why is this even a shocking blog entry worthy of any attention?
    Are college students in Columbia so bored that they have to giggle and blog about finding PG-13 suggestions on the site's new search box?

    We live in a free country and if Columbia's search engine has to block every known naughty or inappropriate suggestion out there, why not move the entire institution to China?

    And congrats for finding this \gem\. Imagine the exaggerated extent of your reactions when god forbid, you find suggestions like cock sucking and pussy hair pulling. GOD FORBID. Kudos to the programmers for adding that code, otherwise all you bored geeks would go ballistic.

    • Trollrater

      Troll Effectiveness Score: 1 out of 10.
      Points off for:
      - Hamfisted Chinese censorship reference
      - Forgetting that Columbia's a private organization
      - Forgetting that organizations normally don't want to be associated with scandal or smut, as evidenced by currently existing ineffective word censoring

      Points added for:
      - Moralistic posturing
      - Libeling Bwog readers
      - Usage of the phrase "pussy hair pulling"

      • Anonymous

        Dude, this is like your 50th post on this entry. Do you have 50 essays all due tomorrow, forcing you into the black hole of procrastination? Or do you just not do anything all day?

  15. Why did

    the coder spell "tit" wrong?

    Fucking CS majors.

  16. Kaimlin

    so writing 'fucking CS majors doesn't' get a troll-rating? wtf? explain the significance of columbia being a private institution in reference to my "offensive" comment.

  17. Kaimlin

    "After locking up some Bwog CS majors in a room and feeding them shots every five minutes, they told us if any of these phrases are present in an autocomplete suggestion (without regard to capitalization), the suggestion won’t show up. Well, rightly so!"

    So in Columbia, you lock up your students and force them to drink alcohol? that seems more of a scandal than, OMG, the words pussy(cat) or cock(rooster), showing up from search suggestions.

    sometimes, the most offensive and trollish comments are the ones that ring too true. painful...

    • Oh no...

      1) You are commenting on Bwog on a Friday night.
      2) You don't seem quite sharp enough to follow the wit of Bwog commenters.
      3) You keep talking about the evils of Columbia, the entity.

      ...do you go to NYU?

  18. COLUMBIA  

    Y U NO LIKE BESTIALITY???

  19. RuggleRat

    Maybe the search engine shouldn't index the Ask Alice! site...seems to be where most of those point to...

  20. anon

    Restricting searches for Alice content to the search interface on the Alice site is probably the best solution.

  21. i want  

    "my virginity back"
    "to cheat on my boyfriend"
    "to have a boyfriend"
    "to be a female"

  22. Kaimlin

    so as a comeback, it's okay to imply I have no wit or sharpness, no life (omg if you're on the Internet on a Friday night, you have absolutely noooo social life), and that I talk about the "evils" of Columbia because I'm from NYU? that for calling Columbia geeks bored, I'm libeling the students?

    grow up.

    Comment: "Forgetting that organizations normally don’t want to be associated with scandal or smut, as evidenced by currently existing ineffective word censoring". Okay, so why is it that the Columbia community itself is so quick to reveal this "shocking search suggestion" findings, to expose the web to this "shameful association?"

    it amuses me to see my first comment get the minimal 1 out of 10 troll-rating, and then every other comment turn into classic faded text.

    this has been amusing, kids but now you bore me. NYU will have a good laugh from this "scandal."

  23. Boromir  

    They have a cave troll.

© 2006-2015 Blue and White Publishing Inc.