Feb

18

PSA: Date & Copulate!

Written by

Hi all,

Over the past week, we’ve been flooded with personals submissions and nominations. Love is in the air…or somewhere. Anyways, we’ve really enjoyed playing cupid, but now it’s time to put down the bow and arrow. Personals get kinda boring after a while, and we can’t afford to keep shelling out $10.

All is not lost! You guys obviously want to go out with people, so DO IT. As it turns out, some chill people actually go here, and being such a negative-Nancy will only leave you alone in your single. And while Bwog won’t continue to do all the hard work, we’ll do the best we can to keep you stimulated.

You may remember that every once in a while, Bwog publishes explicit erotic content. We’d like you to help us continue this endeavor, so after you get some, tell us about it. Or just use your imagination. Either way, you can submit your silliest, strangest and sexiest to BwogSex. Through this anonymous form, no one can possibly know your identity.

Be safe, kids! FYI, this was spotted at Rite Aid

Then again, if risqué reportage is not your style, no worries. Always original and eminently reliable, Fox News got the inside scoop on Columbia hookup culture. Apparently it’s this new thing… As one anchor pithily puts it: “you go to a party, you drink a little bit, you see something you like.”

Still, it’s not always that easy. Love is blind, forsaken, and unrequited. Love, friends, is a battlefield. So send us your Dear Bwog questions, and our Love Sergeant, a self-described “decent heterosexual male Suzy May,” will offer his words of wisdom.

And just like that, we attempted to tactfully tell y’all that we’re no longer setting you guys up, that you should do it yourself instead, and that you can share your problems and sex stories with us. Aren’t we so classy…

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14 Comments

  1. CC 11  

    Did anyone else catch that she mentioned "13 or 14 other Ivy League schools"? Way to perpetuate the stereotype of uninformed reporting, Fox News.

  2. Did anyone else catch  

    how the woman hogs the conversation the whole time while the guy gets less than a minute to talk?
    oh and he just happens to be with hookup culture, way to perpetuate the stereotype of the horny male

    ... not that i have anything against hooking up. they all look like they could use some excitement in their lives

  3. Anonymous  

    We’d like you to help us continue this endeavor, so after you get some, tell us about it.

    What? Ewww.

  4. ...  

    ahh yes. columbia university... home of "the social experiment" ... living out the prudish stereotype.

    and i wonder why i have to go downtown to get laid...

  5. Anonymous  

    the turtles having sex gross me out, bwog. they kind of look like amorphous overweight old people, and then they're this gross color... and I keep clicking onto the bwog pages and seeing the gross turtles and I can't wait for you to post something new so they're no longer at the top of the home page. But I'm glad you want us to have sex... I guess...?

  6. Anonymous  

    omg. that heart illustration was in the spectator on valentine's day! but i'd totally 'work for love'. *wagging eyebrows*

  7. gah  

    I think hooking up is morally wrong.

  8. One argument....  

    ...for returning ROTC to campus is that Bwog might learn to spell Love Sergeant correctly.

    Ahem.

  9. sooo are we sharing...?  

    I got head. chyeaa.

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