28 Comments
Farewell!
Congratulations, you made it through a whole semester’s worth of classes! Now all that stands between you and summer vacation is…finals. Procrastinate by checking out all of the ridiculous things professors said before ending class. If you forgot to send one in, or we just foolishly overlooked it, feel free to share it in the comments. And when you’re done seeing how funny your professors can be, don’t forget to review them on CULPA!
Judith Russell, Intro to American Politics: “The West Wing is like porn for Democrats.”
Joseph Traub, Scientific Computation: “I appreciate you all being here on such a gorgeous day. If I didn’t have to be here, I wouldn’t.”
Marcellus Blount, African American Literature II: “We’re not going outside today. It’s too distracting. People aren’t wearing a lot of clothes…I didn’t say that.”
Bernard Tamas, Intro to Comparative Politics: “There’s nothing I can teach you about being mad. You sort of just pick that up.”
In Interpretation of Culture:
“You can’t choose your family. You were born this way.”
Class laughs.
“What? Is there something funny about identity politics?”
Class explains that it’s a song.
“There’s a song called Identity Politics?!”
Pascale Crépon, Elementary French II: “It’s amazing how depressing it is on Fridays in this room. I need a mojito afterwards, but I have another class…”
Chris Durning, Transport Phenomena II: “If you go to France and don’t speak French, you’re going to have a hard time finding the toilet.”
Michael Como, Buddhism: East Asian: “Speaking of compassion and karma, your course evaluations…”
Bruce Robbins, Contemporary Edgy Fiction: “If the future of literature is in your hands, I think it’s pretty safe. So go! Propagate!…and join book clubs!”
Gareth Williams, Selections from Latin Literature: Horace: “You will translate five out of eight passages. Five out of six if I’m feeling ticklish.”
Akbar Zaidi, History of Modern Pakistan: “I’ve had a great time teaching this class…some of you are outstanding, many of you are very good.”
Malcolm Doldron, Rowing: “Please recommend this class to anyone that you hate.”
Sanat Kumar, Chemical Engineering Thermodynamics: “I’ve come down from Mt. Olympus. I’ve come down to the level of this class. I’ve come down to the level of walking people.”
Vic Corona, The Culture Industry: “I don’t think teaching is for me. I will teach my summer course and then find something else to do with my life. In the words of RuPaul, good luck and don’t fuck it up!”
Core Reflections
Ajay Chaudhary, Contemporary Civilization: “Congratulations, you’re all civilized Westerners.”
Edward Mendelson, Literature Humanities: “I’m not sure you all realize how much better writers and thinkers you are all compared to the beginning of the term. And I take full credit for it.”
Evan Neely, Contemporary Civilization: “Martinis should be stirred, not shaken. Appletinis should be poured down the drain.”
Neslihan Senocak, Contemporary Civilization: “Think about how much fun you have with your friends, with someone you really like, even if you’re just sitting and talking over a beer! And that’s what life should be like, every minute. That’s what I really want you to take away from CC!”
Nancy Workman, Literature Humanities: “As a student wrote on my evaluation one year, ‘What does iambic pentameter have to do with my life?!'”
Robert Thomas, Contemporary Civilization: “I’ve actually spent some time at the University of Chicago, and it’s true. Nobody has fun there.”
Anonymous Professor, Contemporary Civilization: “How much of what I’ve told you about myself over the course of this semester do you think is true or valid? Absolutely none of it.”
Retro goodbye from Wikimedia Commons.
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28 Comments
@Anonymous Whitford, Economy and Society: “The single hardest thing about teaching is knowing how much you know… It’s like talking to elk. The other weird thing is when you tell a joke, people write it down.”
@Anonymous “Does it mean we should all hold hands and sing ‘We Are the World”? …um, I’m up for it if you guys are.”
-Gulati in Principles
@Anonymous Professor Speigelman-
“Am I hot? Oh wait, I know the answer to that. Of course not.”
@Anonymous AHHH MALKIE FRESHHHHHH
@Traub then “I suggest you skip your following class though.”
@Tristan Lambert organic chemistry II-
“if nothing else, years from now you can tell your grandkids that there’s a chemical that smells like dead bodies. that’s something.”
@Anonymous Jonathan Reynolds, Intro to Art History II:
“Concrete does not get much more sensuous than this. That gives you some idea of how dull my life is.”
@Interpretation of Culture The prof was Angie Heo.
@uh “Class laughs.
“What? Is there something funny about identity politics?”
Class explains that it’s a song.
“There’s a song called Identity Politics?!””
That part of the lecture never happened….
@GS graduating senior ….uh oh, is Brian Corman back on campus?
@Marcellus Blount Marcellus Blount
@Anonymous don’t get me wrong, i love it…. or at least try to!
just don’t count on it being there when you need it, or want it (like as in right now, when i am trying to post some reviews).
i am not in the hating-mode here at all, but it simply seems to be down more than it is operative for the last year or so. all the more reason for the University making accessible the course evaluations we do at the close of each semester. right? (and to make them compulsory, so it is not just reflective of a self-selecting population!)
@OOPS that was supposed to be Re: CULPA my bad!
@Wait... …they’re not compulsory? I thought you don’t get your grade for the class until you submit them.
@i dunno.... i don’t think they are compulsory – but perhaps you are right (and I hope you are!)… all the more reason for the results to be made available to all, yes?
@Anon Typically I just get so annoyed by the emails every two days that I just do the evaluations.
But yes, I agree that we should be able to see them. It would have saved me from at least one horrific grad-student-professor this semester.
@Why not just fill out those new evals on swapcollege.com? they’re more standardized than CULPA (like the ones CU has us fill out) but we will have access to them
@haha Neely He’s doing this on purpose now
@Anonymous shamus khan, elites in democratic america-
“seniors… it only gets better from here”
@for the social world he didn’t have too many “huge” endquotes as he was too busy worrying about whether we would stalk him or not (people kept asking him where they could find him outside of columbia and what he would be doing next year)
@Anonymous YEAH MALCOLM!
@Vic Corona ”I don’t think teaching is for me. I will teach my summer course and then find something else to do with my life. In the words of RuPaul, good luck and don’t fuck it up!”
Ha! That was awesome. “You’re all great….just not great enough to y’know, make me want to keep being a teacher”.
It took 4 years but I get one worthy for-the-road quote from a professor.
@malcooooolm love him!
@Anonymous also…. what? its the last class? well…have a good summer
maximillien schmeder, masterpiece of western music
@there are still classes on Monday
@Anonymous Don’t tell me your problems.
@Anonymous i have a tiny penis….
@Anonymous oops. just read the above comment. my bad. sorry everyone :/
awkward…