@Chorus O for a Muse of coffee, that would support
The waning hours of attention,
Butler for a stage, heavily sighing red-eyed scholars to act
And librarians to behold the swelling scene!
Then should the warlike student, like himself,
Assume the port of Lehman; and at his heels,
Leash’d in like hounds, should famine, fatigue and broken printers
Crouch for employment. But pardon, and gentles all,
The flat unraised spirits that have dared
On this unworthy scaffold to bring forth
So great an object: can HamDel hold
The vasty fields of Nietzsche? or may we cram
Within this glass house the very chariots
That did affright the air at Troy?
O, pardon! since crooked gray matter may
Hold in little place a million
Then let caffeine, elixir to this great attempt,
On your dopaminergic forces work….

For ’tis your brains that now must reign as kings,
Carry them to Business and Econ and there; jumping o’er times,
Turning the lectures of many months
Into an hour-glass: for the which supply,
Admit me Chorus to this history;
Who now this prologue rests,
Gently to study for, kindly to take, our tests.