May

5

Senior Wisdom: Rajib Mitra

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“The kind of kid who always comes back with a story,” this wise senior got a whopping 6 nominations.

Name, school: Rajib Mitra, Electrical Engineering – SEAS (took many of my friends 3 years to realize this)

Claim to fame: No degree from any prestigious university will ever parallel with handing Snoop Dogg a cup of gin and juice while he performed the song at Bacchanal. Also I’m that tall asshole in the front row of every Bacchanal blocking your view.

My friends know me for a bunch of things, but I may or not be responsible for Columbia being at the top of this list. I’ve also been deemed as the non-threatening, unassuming wingman for those nights out on the town where I have to diffuse the otherwise creepy post 3:30 am advances by my friends at 1020.

Where are you going? I’ll be working at Boeing in Philadelphia. Defense Design and Analysis Electrical Engineer I believe is the title. Find me if you’re in Philly anytime.

Three things you learned at Columbia:
1. Cramster is tragically no longer useful after freshman year.
2. In engineering, 12 pages, and 8 hours of correct work with a wrong final answer gets you a 3/10. Be proud of this 3/10.
3. How to become unforgivably and embarassingly good at Super Smash Brothers N64.

“Back in my day…” Koronets was $2.75. Every 25 cent per year increase has been a dagger into my likely clogged artery heart.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Too gangster for hipsters, too hip for gangsters

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? We are in the final stage of one of the greatest battles in history. I would say to my fellow seniors as I said to those who have joined this party: I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat. We had before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have had many, many long months of struggle and suffering (in the morning)…You ask, what was our aim? I can answer in one word: Victory. Victory at all costs—victory in spite of terror—victory, however long and hard the road was, for without victory there was no survival.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Unless you are lactose intolerant, the answer should be oral sex. If you say otherwise, you are wrong. Actually, even if you are lactose intolerant you should still pick oral sex. You survived the post-John Jay dining hall afterparty in your tummy, you know you can suck it up for glorious cheese.

Advice for the class of 2015: As tempting as it might be, don’t friend request all the cute girls in the Columbia 2015 Facebook group.

Any regrets? None. On a serious note I made THE best friends I think I’ll ever make. Columbia can be a tough place to navigate but I’m so fortunate to have likely had the wildest, most fulfilling, and intellectually stimulating 4 years of my life with them. PEACE.

Know someone wise? Submit your nominees’ UNIs and a few good tales to [email protected].

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36 Comments

  1. Debashree  

    So how come I get a friend request back in '07?

  2. Big laughs.

    "So if you read anything about a helicopter going down overseas, blame me."


    I think the rule during wartime defense contracting seasons is this: don't joke about the product failing.

  3. you seem cute

    you would choose cheese over oral sex? challenge accepted.

  4. young jeeby fan  

    rajib mitra is a BAMF. seriously, he's the chillest and friendliest dude ever. plus, he's got great taste in music—his mixtape site is called whole wheat cracker. he made a sick snoop/das racist playlist to prep for bacchanal. google it!

  5. Grateful Dhruv  

    Thanks for diffusing my many, many creepy advances.

  6. Cynical Olivier  

    Thanks for NOTHING Jeebs.

  7. Streckfus more like breakfast  

    All day. SOON

  8. kamal  

    what a coool guy!
    honored to be your friend sir

  9. Javed  

    Wait...you're in SEAS?

  10. In the Snoop picture,  

    your hands look really girly. You have girl hands.

  11. ari  

    yo you play super smash? i bet you're some kinda buster.

  12. rajib=

    the fucking man.

  13. claudia  

    another thing we've learned: if you give your cramster login info to someone, be prepared to have all of their friends use your account too....and then have cramster block the account hahahah

    jeebs, you're a bamf, and i'm so happy you came to the family :)

  14. Cava  

    Best senior wisdom yet!

  15. Anonymous  

    I second Cava's sentiment.

  16. Abbs

    Another one of the many incredible people that I am sad to see graduating. I'm glad you're a member of the familia Jeebs.

  17. our names rhyme  

    MY GUY! what a baller

  18. WTFFFFFFFF

    why are genius columbians from an ivy league school using cramster which is mostly answered by kids from state colleges?

    nothing wrong with it but i wish most of you would cut down on the elitism. you're all really not that above the world.

  19. that other kid from marka's lab  

    jeebs is such a boss. no one can deal with extremely socially awkward sexual tension between his summer labmates like this guy. except maybe ZEUS

  20. Mishal Yeezy aka Debashis  

    You're a gangsta, and a hipsta. I think either one would be glad to have you.

    And that helicopter comment is DEFINITELY going to come back to haunt you. Nice work.

  21. Anonymous  

    On another note, I am currently on whole wheat cracker surfing this cool site in the library. Seriously. Here's the link! http://wholewheatcracker.com/

  22. Anonymous  

    rajib is the best!!

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