Jun

20

What do you use your toothbrush for when you’re fantasizing about your thesis?

Written by

See day five, 9 AM

A self-procalimed “sorority princess” finds unorthodox benefits to her Sonicare. In Daily Intel’s latest installment of their Sex Diary series, “the sorority girl with breast implants,” who hails from our very own Morningside Heights, shares her salacious stories. We (along with numerous tipsters) have deduced from the quips about Health Services’ unavailability and monogamy as a “social construct” that this Carrie Bradshaw-wannabe is an authentic Columbian. Bwog has indulged our erotic appetite in the past, but this titillating tale features African E, a “non-Ivy transgression,” and masturbating while fantasizing about a completed thesis. Moral: never share toothbrushes, and cap it before you tap it.

Here’s a teaser to get you started:

3 PM: Office hours with my favorite professor. Turn around as I’m taking my coat off to give him a full look at my ass in favorite jeggings.

You might not want to read this at work…

Good vibrations via Wikimedia

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37 Comments

  1. vom

    hoping that this is fake for my own sanity.

    seriously. why does this exist?

  2. ws

    everyone knows you don't have to reschedule an std test when ghap has walk in hours

  3. Oof

    I feel tired just reading this. I also feel daunted by the sheer bullshit.

  4. Anonymous

    ...let the bitchhunt begin.

  5. this

    isn't real, right?

  6. Anonymous  

    that's salash

  7. asdf

    why is there a delay when i post comments on bwog and the comments appearing on the page

  8. bored intern

    why arent more girls like this? sigh.

    on behalf of all guys, we promise we won't judge nor ridicule salaciousness because honestly, the concept of a slut is far outdated and completely obsolete. Female psyche has not caught up with the invention of the condom and the pill yet. There was a time when the construct of a slut was necessary, since sex obviously can lead to pregnancy. Women wanted to ensure that her mate wasn't a player and would help raise the child along with her. But now, the burden of rearing a child as a single mother is completely avoidable.

    Therefore, the behavioral mechanisms innate to the female brain which condemn acts of pleasure are no longer necessary, evolutionarily speaking.. In short, contraception should obviate the notion of lasciviousness since casual sex can easily be a win-win for both parties.
    Have sex because it feels good and stop complicating matters. Sex isn't that big a deal anyway.

    point is:
    women - stop worrying about being viewed as a slut. if your friends don't want pleasure, then fine, that's their prerogative and they are missing out.
    men - stop "putting the pussy on the pedestal." Remember that sex always seems better in theory than it actually is in practice. And stop trying so hard - have some self-respect.

    -- Bored intern who inadvertently gets paid to write comments on bwog

    • Anonymous

      sex feels best with someone you love. the evolution of casual sex may be ruining our culture

    • Fun facts

      Condoms don't prevent herpes, HPV (the vaccine leaves 10-30% of wart-causing strains uncovered), or molluscum. All of which can be asymptomatic and still be transmitted. Not to be sex-negative, but treating the possibility of pregnancy as the sole cause of "behavioral mechanisms innate to the female brain" (sidenote: really? reeeeeeeally?) which might lead women to limit the number of their partners.

      Besides the fact that this article features absolutely no condom use. Gah!

  9. Anonymous

    fake and probably written by a dude

  10. '15

    She drove him back to the hotel, but was still dried up from alcohol? That sounds like a DUI to me...

  11. don

    The entire experience is not believable.

    But the individual acts were. Thats more or less how hard I pound my own girlfriend. Once she actually passed out for like 30 seconds after the orgasm I gave her. :P

  12. obvoiusly fake  

    not that it really matters.

    "Skype boyfriend to tell him about this. He looks mildly alarmed. Suggests we do it on a pile of money instead."

  13. more like Barnard  

    "Fraternity affiliation makes up for my non-Ivy transgression..."

    now this article makes more sense

  14. Anonymous

    Also, who the he'll at Columbia wears jeggings? So fake

  15. Anonymous

    No Columbian would say "Student Health" rather than "Health Services." Bwog, you really fell for this?

  16. If I had HIS imagination

    then maybe my credit card bill wouldn't be so high

  17. person

    I've never read a sex column that wasn't awful. What's more self-indulgent than a little self-indulgence, if you know what I mean? Telling the world about it.

  18. so

    who's got the name of this bitch?

  19. Def. a male author...

    Only a guy would think a girl can orgasm so easily from vaginal sex.

  20. tompkins

    Columbia doesn't have the frat SAE, has to be fake

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